When it comes to other languages…
When I was growing up I had no desire to learn a different language. Learning English was hard enough. What I didn’t realize was that it isn’t just languages like Spanish, Russian, German and Greek are hard to learn. When they say it is all Greek to me, they are right. I don’t even know Greek.
However, there are many languages that I do know. For instance, I grew learning fluent sarcasm. It is a language all it’s own, because there are certain tones to it. The reason I know it is a language is because there are really people that I know that have no knowledge of how it is spoken. They don’t read it, write it or understand it. So sometimes, I have to translate. For some reason, I thought everyone knew, but I came to figure out that some people are born without the sarcasm gene.
Then there is the language of the young people. I’ve heard you can become fluent in a language like Spanish, but the longer you neglect to speak it, the worse you get at remembering it. I think this is true with young kid speak. They have a language all their own. Thanks to my middle aged-young person’s translation guide, Urban Dictionary, I have managed to keep up with most of the terms like, “on fleek”, “savage” and “get lit”, but I am way behind with their heiroglyphics called the “Emoji”. I don’t know if there is a dictionary for those. Sure I know what smiley face means, (I think), but after that, they all seem the same to me.
Young people language is constantly changing. As soon as you learn it, they are 5 steps ahead.
I have recently been snatched up by an old couple who needs rides to places and they are kind enough to pay me to take them places. I call myself and Olduber. What I have found out is that they additionally have a language all their own. Somehow, they are able to communicate with a bunch of whispers, mumblings and passive aggressive tones. Even though I probably have way better hearing than them, they seem to understand each other, while I am constantly saying, “What was that?” I assume as I get older I will start understanding them, but right now, I am a little lost and may need a person with a hearing aid to translate for me.
Then there is peculiar language that works with only acronyms. Dilbert speaks much about these strange creatures called business people. They have TPS reports, use weird made up languages like SQL, COBOL, Java, FORTRAN, Pascal, and C++. Not to be judgemental or anything, but C++ seems way average for someone who seems to be really smart. I didn’t do super great in school, but I was around a C++ average too. I’m not making megabucks for getting a C++. I just think for a bunch of smart people they could just spell things out a little instead of having to make everything an acronym.
And somehow even animals can understand each other. Dogs understand other dogs barks I guess, and cats are really good at showing their distaste for you just by lifting their tails at you.
I don’t understand why we have to have all these languages, but then again, I don’t understand much. I guess I need to find a translator for life.
ARRRRRGHHHHH
Bitter Language Inexpert Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
A translator for life – what a great concept! Acronyms drive me crazy. I suspect they were invented by bitter people who want to make other people feel stupid.
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I know. I was on a job phone interview the other day and I swear this guy was making up acronyms on the spot, just to make himself seem smarter, or just to make me feel dumber.
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Probably both
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True. So true.
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You know what’s complicated? When the language of sarcasm is different in a different language. Like humor tends to change from culture to culture, language to language. So many funny things just don’t translate over well. So I used to commute to the French part of Canada for work and the francophones have a very different sense of humor than then the anglophones and so the moment I crossed that bridge, I stopped being funny. I was constantly having to elaborate on my sarcastic, normally hilarious comments, to the point that I learnt to keep mouth shut. It was the WORST. It made me so bitter at work, which was already pretty bitter because I’m an accountant. Needless to say I changed jobs and I am once again hilarious in anglophone Canada.
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Thank goodness I don’t have to deal with the French Canadians and their lack of sarcasm. Though I did have a missionary companion on my mission from there and you are right. He didn’t get any of my sarcasm and that made me pretty bitter. It was almost impossible to deal with him because of it.
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I bet my coworkers just thought I was socially awkward. Which I am. But not in the way they probably thought. A co-worker of mine said she watched 3 seasons of Friends and didn’t laugh even once because she didn’t think it was funny. Sad!
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I like to think of socially awkward as a good thing. I mean really, who needs to talk to co-workers. All they ever do is add to the workpile.
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I know what you mean! I don’t even TRY to communicate with my teenage daughter unless I have an urban dictionary in my hand. I mean, I used to try…but she said I was ‘doing it wrong.’ Whatevs, she’s just totes jelly. Great post, Bitter Ben!
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I know right? My teenager won’t even let me dab or use any words that sound remotely cool. I have to use all my old people words.
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HA! 😀
Oh, sometimes, Ben, it’s best not to understand. (Or pretend you don’t understand.) Especially when it comes to FemaleSpeak. 😉 😛
I don’t have much of a sarcasm gene…I have a weird/silly gene. But, I have family members who have the sarcasm/roll their eyes gene. Ha! 😀 Especially in responding to me and my silliness. 😛
I think it would be fun to bring back words/phrases like: bummer, dig it, funk, hubba hubba, groovy, etc., and get the teenagers using them. Ha. 😀 I guess kids like inventing words, phrases, and abbreviations, etc., so that their parents and other adults can’t understand them. Always been this way…way back to The Dark Ages. 😀
HUGS!!! 🙂
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Yeah, all these kids with their made up phrases. Thankfully most of them get put in the trash for how stupid they are. But then again same with the phrases we used to use when we were young too.
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I’m totes OG with the young peoples language
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I am too, but my daughter won’t let me in the club, no matter how hard I try to be cool. She won’t even let me dab.
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I bet she’s too bitter about it
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She totes is.
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At least learn what LOL stands for and save yourself some embarrassment (or just don’t use it). I heard of one woman who kept using it, thinking it meant ‘Lots of Love’. Unfortunately she was texting/emailing it to people as part of condolence correspondence…
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Yeah, I used to think of it as something else because so many people way overuse it. I rarely laugh so hard that I do it outloud. Though I love humor, it takes a lot to make me laugh out loud. So I prefer to use CTM – Chuckle to myself.
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I used to live in Japan but found that some of my biggest moments of culture shock were related to Americans (rather than Japanese.) It was all down to the unspoken language.
In the UK (and in Japan) people hint quite a lot, and say things like “that might not be a good idea” when they mean “that is the worst possible idea, please leave.” I was really surprised by my American colleagues bluntness and inability to pick up on hints. They were all really nice, it’s just a different culture despite our common language.
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I seriously don’t understand how some people are so thick when it comes to subtly telling them things. I freaking get so bitter at people that are oblivious.
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You are lost in translation.
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Most of the time yeah. Especially to the people that I talk to.
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Lol. You are so right. This definitely couldn’t have been any more truer, so many languages. I speak about 6 to 8, including sarcasm, which I still can’t understand how anyone on this earth cannot understand.
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I only speak a few of them. Sarcasm is my first language, English my second. Anything else is poor at best.
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SQL Sample:
“Select ‘name’ from ‘dummies’ order by ‘IQ’ desc”
Output:
Superman
Batman
Spiderman
Robin
Trump
Obama
Busch
…
…
me
…
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My eyes gloss over as soon as I hear SQL or C++. So thanks for that.
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