Don’t you just love when it is the first snow of the year and everyone drives on the road like they are one of those horses that are just born and are trying to walk for the first time? I really do enjoy seeing all the cars in ditches, and cars sliding around like they are taking their first steps, especially the SUV’s that have 4 wheel drive and anti-lock brakes and air bags and still end up in ditches while my super nice Dodge Caliber is just steadily climbing the ice climbs like an expert mountain climber doing a small mountain after climbing Everest. I love seeing carnage all around me like Tony Stark in Iron Man when raises his fist and missles land on the ground. I think I just used a record amount of bad metaphors for an opening paragraph in a blog like a guy from a movie voiceover….uh, let’s just get to the Giftures.
Man life is just…
…such a drag.
Stuff a cat in a box…
…Just do it.
Alright dogs and babies…
…time for you to take a spin.
Driving can sometimes feel…
…so plane.
High plains drifting…
…is quite a scream.
Sometimes you can’t…
…break through the glass ceiling or door.
Sometimes things can be scary…
…things will be pretty hairraising.
Some days it feels like you are…
…just walking all day in the wrong direction.
And that life is just trying…
…to dump soda all over your face.
And you work so hard…
…and you still end up in the same place.
And you run around in circles all day…
…and still get slammed in the face.
Thankfully at the end of the day…
…you can just wake up and do it all over again tomorrow.
That’s the bitter thing about snow. Despite the fact that you should stay inside doing nothing, something drives you to go outside, get into a car and play a winter Slip N’ Slide. At least there are some good YouTube videos that come from all the carnage.
ARRRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter Snow Fair Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
SNOW?
We’ve only had rain storms thus far. I don’t really like snow. I mean, I do, but only when I get to jump around in the unwalked-on bits, not when I have to drive. Your gifs were brilliant as ever, btw. My mum especially liked the one with the dancing dog and kid :’)
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Oh wow, your mum looks at the gifs too? Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of the snow either. I had way too much of it in South Dakota and I would be fine never seeing it again. It causes people on the road way too many problems.
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I went ‘awwww’ on the kid with the dog and my mum came to check what was going on. What do you mean, nosiness is genetic?
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Everything seems to be able to be genetic. We have all kinds of things I wouldn’t imagine that is genetic. My daughter even inherited my bitterness.
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Pingback: Friday Feeds | Candace Vianna Writes
I’m pretty sure the snow is heading in my direction. It’s been a while. I will probably be one of those baby deer, unfortunately.
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Wasn’t it just two years ago that the Boston area was pummeled with snow? You are close enough to there aren’t you?
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Boston is always pummeled with snow haha. I’m closer to NYC now and we just had some snow flurries last night and the day before!
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The storm is coming!
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As a Californian, I only know about slipping and sliding on the rare occasions that I drive in snow country, and endanger all the snow natives.
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Yeah, you Californians have no idea what weather is. Probably why you only go places to see how terrible it is outside of your state.
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OMG The kid with the soda in his face! Thanks so much for my Friday laugh! š
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Yeah, I wish I was there so I could have laughed at him personally. And tell his parents how much of a moron he is.
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haha I’m sure they know already! š
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I know, but I like to be the one to break the bitter to them in person.
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Ah – Spread as much Bitterness around as you can! š
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That is the goal. And so far I’ve failed. Which at least makes me bitter.
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My favorite bitter gifture was the moronic girl trying to do pirouettes or jetes in the middle of her kitchen. She deserves to go flying into the cabinetry. Why? Because the kitchen is not the place to hold your performance of Swan Lake. You are not going to be on Dancing with the Stars nor are you going to be on So You Think You Can Dance because you can’t. It’s bitter but it’s the truth. As for driving in snow, it is the same with rain. Weather makes me bitter because I have to share the road with other people who are bitterly trying to get somewhere at the same time as me. Thanks for making the pending weekend amazingly bitter.
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Yeah, talk about a gifture that had such a predictable end result. We all knew was going to be counter fodder.
And yeah, rain was pretty much the same as snow in Seattle. And when it got sunny that would provide just as many accidents as any of the others.
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In Arizona, people lost their collective minds when it rained. They had storm watches which caused me to become extremely bitter because they don’t know what a storm watch is……
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I love when people lose their minds. What’s funny is that when I was in Arizona for the first time ever, it was in August and monsoon season and we were going into the movie theater and we got absolutely flooded. Then as soon as we got out, it was bone dry again.
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Yes, that is what happened out there on a consistent basis. I guess because it is so hot, the water evaporates immediately.
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It’s just crazy that it even rains there at all. I guess it just dumps every once in a while.
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California’s monsoons are horrible
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Anything that gets me wet, makes me bitter.
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Yes. It makes me feel like a Gremlin which adds to the bitterness.
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Stay away from pools or bathtubs then, because we don’t want any of that around.
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I was trapped in my house and very bitter about all of the mudslides. GRR
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That sounds like amazing. How do I get trapped in my house, not having to deal with people or go to work. Bring on the mudslides.
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I was young and stupid. Now, I understand the beauty of it.
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I am now old and stupid.
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High of 77 today…just sayin’…
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That makes me so bitter. Which is just where I want to be.
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I was hoping to have that effect.
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You sure do. Everything you do makes me bitter. That’s probably why you are so welcome here.
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I know, every time I come in I get a TV dinner that’s still frozen. Feels like home.
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Thank goodness for microwaves.
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73 here. We set a record, I think.
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Sounds like a broken record. For California.
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Oh nice! Where are you again?
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Ohio
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I see…
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