As the trees continue their jerky behavior by littering all their leaves on the ground, and not picking up after themselves, as the grass continues to die a slow painful death, and as the snowman continue to be wait in icy cold anticipation for the weather to be just right for them to come out an play, we all know, Winter in Coming. Right Game of Thrones?
Actually, I don’t know, I’ve never seen Game of Thrones, but I’ve heard that winter is coming. You know what else is coming? A bitter battle for the top half of my body. There has always been a battle brewing there.
There is the top part of my face, Bitter Mouth, is absolutely no good at saying words except, “Leave me alone”, “Go away”, and “Bensbitterblog.com, go check it out”. The teeth storage unit is very much opposed to anything but the absolutely most necessary words. When it comes to food entering Bitter Mouth, there is a bouncer with very specific instructions watching the place. He only allows the very coolest and swaggy foods to come to the party. Cheese, pizza, cheese pizza, pepperoni, pepperoni pizza, and bagels, with cheese. Chocolate, candy bars, and brownies can come but only if they bring milk as a date. Lame party pooper foods like kale, salad, broccoli, black beans, oats, lentils, and sprouts are strictly prohibited.
Bitter Stomach is a hot mess. He is a non stop talker, constantly digesting things, making noise, causing havoc. He is the kid standing in front of the refrigerator, saying, “I’m hungry. There’s nothing to eat. Make me a sandwich.” He wants Bitter Mouth to give him cookies and cake, but then when mouth sends it right down, he complains that he wants kale and beans. First he is “starving”, then he’s too full. The guy just can’t make up his mind, and he’s never content. Mouth is always trying to tune him out, but stomach is so relenting, stomach always gets his way. Either way, stomach is a jerk. If you don’t feed him, he will whine and complain. If you do feed him, he will grow and become bloated. He is a lose/lose situation.
So, which guy is a bigger Bitter jerk? Bitter Stomach, or Bitter Mouth? Who causes you the most pain? Who do they think they are?
Bitter Battle of Stomach and Mouth Ben