Slow Start Friday Giftures

When it comes to getting going on the day, I am a molasses starter.  I’m not talking about waking up, which I do after the first alarm, or being awake (I only sleep 5-6 hours a night) but getting a start on being productive.  But on the other hand, when I’m only productive about 1-2 hours a day (when I happen to be writing my blog), it doesn’t matter if I get a slow start, middle or ending.  But I’ve heard many people have troubles starting the day without a little jolt or boost(coffee, energy drinks, electrical shock), but why start out so abruptly anyways? But in case you need something to ease your day into, here are some Friday Giftures to help you avoid early morning efficiency.

Pour a little sugar in the engine…


…that’ll slow this car down…

Make sure the floor are slippery….


…so you can begin your slow descent down to the floor. 

Make sure you slow your breathing...


…so no one thinks you are there..

Make sure you slow everything down…


…so even your hand falls asleep. 


Clearly this guy needs to be in less of a hurry…


…to get to work. 


Clearly this guy didn’t follow the hard fast rule…


…of never leaving the couch once you are on it…

And this guy gets punished for trying to be in a hurry…


….but at least he will get to lay there for a while.

Even being in a hurry in the weather…


…gets you a seat in the puddle.


And trying to speed through getting taller…


…makes you come up short.

Other times when you are too slow to school…

the-future-of-combining-gifs-is-now-10-gifs-51 end up having to wave to the annoying person.


And speed talkers in the morning, mid-day, afternoon or night…


…just stop talking.

Or there will be a storm coming your way…



Go ahead and get your jump starter on the day.  Be productive if you want, but I’ll be sitting here, working on my inefficiency, slugging my way through the day while you get get things done, only to go home and go out and party, while I sit here like a bump on a highway.  Bitter weekend, overachievers.


Bitterly Slow Starter Ben

55 thoughts on “Slow Start Friday Giftures

  1. That first gif looks like my daughter. I’m pretty sure it is her. It looks exactly like her idea of maintenance and that’s her car. Blaming the car when it fails to run however, she got that from her father.


  2. Clearly the best post I’ve read all day! And I never could understand all the fuss for the need to hurry with exception of needing a washroom.. ;D


  3. If you’re anything like me, coffee isn’t quite an abrupt jolt unless I’ve had 2-3 cups! One cup of coffee doesn’t make me productive haha


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