I’m not going to post anything today

Alright fine, you get this one  of me today at work.

Alright fine, you get this one of me today at work.

I know I usually post every Friday with some of your favorite giftures stolen from the web, but yesterday was a whirlwind of insanity called my birthday, and it was a lot more interaction than I’m used to.  Every year, for one day, I become the most popular kid in school for a day, just because my mom decided to pop me out exactly 42 years to the day ago.  If being popular like I am on my birthday is any indication of how it is like everyday for a cool dude in high school or a celebrity, I now know that I’m glad I wasn’t popular in high school or a celebrity.  It was exhausting and after I while I just wanted everyone to go to bed so I could play video games.  Anyhow, I’m back to just being a bitter blogger and overworked employee today.

So you don’t get any giftures today, but don’t worry, if you really do like them, you get them on a special day that ends in Y, called tomorrow.  Besides, yesterday I posted 42 things to be bitter about so, check that one out for Pete’s sake.  Right here. And I guess I’m going to turn today into a news day for other ways to find bitterness.

1. Another blogger who reads bloggers posts on her podcast asked if she could read my Micro Dreams post.  I granted permission, so she read it on her blog.  Here’s the link if you want to hear that post from a nice soothing voices perspective.

2. I am doing a guest post next week on Valley Girl Gone Country’s blog since she is going into hiding and wants a bitter post that week I guess?  If you want to get a look at her blog early so you know what kind of font to expect my post to be in, it’s here. I’ll let you know next week when it goes live.

3. Speaking of guest posts, I am going on a vacation in the future and will be gone for a little while (don’t rob my house, looters, there nothing of value there, except in the safe, which I will not tell you the combination of 34 left, 45 right, 5 left or tell you that my old Xbox games are in there.) and might not want to post while on that vacation, because I might be lazy/or I might be in a place that has limited Wi-fi. So if you would like to guest post, I might allow you to do so.  But only if your post isn’t terrible like mine.  So, let me know if you are up to the task.  If you aren’t, then you might be seeing an eiree lack of bitterness on the web for a little while, which might suit a few of you just fine.  Or I might post even more.  So, let me know.  Or don’t.

And click follow on Twitter to follow me there.

Or Instagram to follow me there.

Lazy day out!


Bitter Not Gonna Post today Ben




82 thoughts on “I’m not going to post anything today

    • Yeah, I’m always down with a duet post. I’m really good at coming up with ideas, but bad at execution. I’m still working on a thing with someone else and I’m still stalling. Just so you know what you are getting into!


  1. I’ll miss reading your posts while you’re on vacation, but the thought of how bitter you’ll be when you return is also pretty exciting.


    • You have no idea. Last time I went to Disney, we did 4 Disney Parks and 2 Universal Parks in 7 days. I wrote a 6 part epic post marathon.
      It isn’t happening until June though, so you’re stuck with my posts for a while.
      I was thinking of you for a guest post because your posts major in funny and minor in bitter(maybe more of a double major).
      I will certainly miss your adventures in being a douche magnet (no fault of yours of course).

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hahahaha I’d like to say that it’s only a minor in bitter, but sometimes… sometimes my posts major in bitter and minor in funny. I’d love to guest post! Just send me the details, let me know how many times a day to water the plants and what time to feed the pets and I think we’re good to go!
        I look forward to a marathon post!!


        • It’s more of a double major if you ask me. But you probably weren’t. As far as the guest posting goes, as long as it is totally funny, completely bitter and completely in line with how I’ve done every single one of my 500 posts, write whatever you want. No pressure, but one time I tweeted a post to Rainne Wilson. He didn’t read it, but he may someday. Just saying. And I know this is weird coming from the bitterest person ever, but my parents read it, so if you wouldn’t mind not swearing that would be cool too. You can send it to my email bengardner2000@gmail.com whenever you feel like it, as long as it is before June 6th, which is when I leave. Thanks by the way!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. What does a bitter blogger wish for on his birthday? That the world will be a less annoying place (alleviating his agony)?… or that the world will become even more of a nuisance (new material)?… or dinner at Jack in the Box?


    • I wish for the gift of “leave me alone”. Tell me happy birthday another day, just let me have fun playing video games, buying anything I want or just laying on the couch all day. Why does it have to be such a production?


  3. Pingback: Friday Funny Giftures (Bitter Ben Edition) | I Refuse To Follow Your Blog

  4. Time machine’s on the fritz so I can’t go back to wish you happy birthday on the proper day. (Mechanics said that ALL my parallel universe selves had to be home between 8am today and 5pm two weeks ago, I mean come on, like we don’t have things to do.) So anyway, happy belated birthday!


    • Awesome, thanks for offering to guest post. Vacation is in early June, but if you have anything in mind now, you can work on it and send it to me anytime before then. It can be about just about anything you want to be bitter about. Heaven knows that is about limitless. I don’t know what your rules are on swearing, but I don’t cause my parents read it. So if that is cool, I would really appreciate it! You can send to me on bengardner2000@gmail.com.


  5. I would guest post! I could work myself up into a really bitter frenzy and bitterly post the most bitter things I could think of. (Especially if I’m teaching that day… oh, I could be SUPER bitter then…)


  6. enjoy your vacation !

    love that gif – going to steal it and use it when I’ve had a shitty day at work (which usually happens on Monday through to Friday each week)


  7. Now you are forced to have more interaction. Good idea to go on vacation while you are still young. Wait, you are 42. Start packing Geritol, anti-inflammatories, and ACE bandages.


  8. Wow, I think it might be my birthday due to the lack of gifs. You know while you’re on vacation I think I’m going to hack your blog and post a bunch of things that will get you to lose followers.


    • The Friday Giftures isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it is mine because I usually don’t have to write words and my convenience is what is most important here. And just so you don’t feel too birthday comfortable, I’m gonna post them tomorrow. And feel free to hack my blog, but if you post anything like you do on yours, I will gain followers, so take that!


      • Yes, I saw the mention of there being Saturday Giftures. Honestly, my extreme OCD doesn’t know if I can handle that!! Bitter Ben…grifting…on Saturdays…what is this world coming to??And wait a minute…what was that in the last comment?? A thinly veiled backwards compliment??? Who is this anyway?? Did someone get to the hacking before I did??!!!


        • It’s always a backhanded compliment. You know that right? I’m just saying that nice people(IE the majority of WordPress) like your things better. So an insult. And thanks for the idea of the post. Coming soon to a blog near you.


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