My life is a running disaster. Not in the traditional sense of lightning bolts coming down from the sky, hurricanes lifting my house all the way to Oz, or Spokane, floods overflowing the water table in my basement, or molten lava coming down from an angry volcano. It’s more like a light bulb goes out and I have to change it, my electric toothbrush runs a little too fast, the water on the bathroom floor gets my socks a little wet, or pizza burns the roof of my mouth. You know, like real disasters. In light of the constant disasters in my life, I present you with Cluster Luck Friday Giftures:
I hate it when there is no doorbell…
…it hurts my knuckles to knock.
It is such a disaster….
…when I sleep a little too long and I feel groggy.
It’s always such a disaster…
…when I get such cheaply made alarm clocks that they fall apart at the lightest touch.
One time when I was trying to watch a video on my phone….
…and there was only 4G and it started buffering. So inconvenient…
One time I was standing…
…and then, all of a sudden, I wasn’t.
Then there was this other time that I was on a surfboard…
...and then I wasn’t.
Then there was that one time at the grocery store…
…in the fall when they were trying to cart me out.
Then there was that time when I got a ticket…
...for being a wreckless baller.
There was the disaster one time…
… when I found a hair in my cookie.
One time it was sunny…
…and I forgot my sunglasses.
Then one time I ran over a kid’s airplane.
I was so mad at him for getting debris in my tires. Kids….
Then one time I asked my buddies for help to pop a huge ball…
…and they couldn’t even do that right.
Then I was trying to ask a guy on the street for directions…
…and the dude totally ruined my windshield. Walked away and didn’t even offer to pay. (Good thing I recorded it.)
I’ve heard a rumor that someday something good will happen to me. Don’t believe it. Rumors are never true…Except that one time that wasn’t me.
Have a Cluster Lucky Bitter Friday.
ARRRRGGGGHHHH
Bitter FridayCluster Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
This post made me laugh! What crazy gifs!
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They are the gifs that keep on gifing.
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Pingback: In case you missed it…because you needed more things to add to your busy life | Ben's Bitter Blog
You must go through a lotta batteries filming them there videos.
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It is even harder crashing and burning for the videos.
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First world problems. Exhausting. Real disasters aside, there was the time my cigarette set fire to my hair at a baptism…
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Now that is a story to tell your grandkids.
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Hilariousssssssssssssssssssss!
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Hiariousssssly bitter.
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Lol again! Wishing you a bitter Easter. 🙂
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It was bitter indeed.
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Wishing you mad amounts of cluster luck this weekend, eating peeps.
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I’ve never been into the “special” East candy, but just Easter versions of ones I like, like Reese’s Mini’s Etc.
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If you’re cursing because you have bad luck, inhale Helium. It’ll make you sound like an annoyed Munchkin. The result will be fun for the whole family. It’s karmic that you inhale a gas that makes balloons go high in the air to make your voice higher-pitched. One of those annoying things about reality that you think of at three in the morning while attempting to degauss your magnetic personality.
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Disaster is my middle name. Hurricane is my other middle name. Bitter is in all my names.
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Ughhh, I want to have a serious talk with the egg beater girl.
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I want to let her continue to get her hair egg beaten. Just not with my beater.
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That’s what he gets for trying to have fun with a grocery shopping cart. There is no fun. Loser. And if you don’t want your toys destroyed, don’t set them down in a public street where the cars go. Towheaded loser.
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Kids should know their place. Like inside bothering their family instead of outside getting exercise and bothering me.
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You forgot the hideous nail breaking disaster. Oh wait… you probably just chew your nails down.
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Nope just cut them as soon as they get too claw like.
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Sometimes, bad luck does follow certain people…& sometimes, it’s funny. I really hope this becomes a reoccurring Friday post.
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You are in luck. I have done this every Friday for probably six months. I guess SOME people are lucky.
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I am… I am very very lucky. (On occasions such as this, for instance…we are surely not talking about on a regular basis.)
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Oh…& that also means I get to go back and pretty much have an entire day of looking at Animated GIF’s. Sounds like a perfect Saturday. Bring on tomorrow…
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You get to watch gifs on Saturdays? Not fair. Why are you doing that all day? Some sort of dream job?
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The only luck I have is bad. Like all those things that happen to me at the same time.
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i’ll tell you what’s even worse : when you are too short to change the light bulb & every time i eat pizza , i not only burn my mouth, but then it turns into an ulcer & hurts for 10 days.
i hate doorbells , unlike you , & i will climb on a chair to unscrew them.
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I love being able to change lightbulbs. Oh wait, that means every time one needs to be changed I have to do it.
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but you are tall, no standing on a chair
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When there is a 20 foot ceiling, I usually have to get a ladder.
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it’s only six
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Then I would be hitting my head.
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#10, friggin’ hilarious!
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If she would have been wearing her sunglasses, we wouldn’t have had to see that.
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I think a full face mask would actually be better.
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For her, yes. A full on mummy outfit would be acceptable too.
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or a haz mat suit…
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Totally misread the title.. Thought it was “cluster fuck”… happy friday. Good Friday*.. I am sure you are going to be bitter though; it is totally a holiday here. Everything is closed.
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So bitter that I had to work and you got to stay home. You’d think a country that was formed on the ideals of free religion would allow us to take one of the biggest religious holidays off. Nope we go the opposite direction.
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I think the girl with the mixer probably had a bad hair day for a long time after that incident.
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She probably had a bad hair month.
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