I managed to get this picture of my evil captors before I escaped.
Hey guys, remember my post yesterday? You know, the one where I was reporting the news about the evil cloud empire and at the end I was being taken away because I was spilling all their guarded secrets? (Did you know when you put data in the cloud they are just stealing all your credit cards and spending all your money?) Yeah, well not one of you even offered to come and try to save me, so of course it was all up to me to escape. Thanks so much! (I say with a raged and fake bitter smile on my face!) Just for that, I’m going to make you all suffer unimaginably by cursing you gif style. Take that you disloyal followers who don’t care whether I live or die! Take these gifs and have a terrible Friday! A bitter curse on you all!
I curse you…
…to gett run over by the bitter ball of humiliation!
I curse you….
…to be sad that your domino pyramid will fall to its doom.
I curse you…
…that you will get a dirty look as sharp as these scizzors.
I curse you…
…to have a bad trip to the break room.
I curse you…
…be in the wrong place at the right time…
I curse you…
…to have the wind at your forward…
I curse you…
…to have a cat-tastrophie.
I curse you…
…to get your pizza order screwed up.
I curse you…
…to mess up your exercise routine…
I curse you…
…with parents that embarass you…
I curse you…
…to get blamed for messes you didn’t make…
I curse your…
…home to be a part of the market crash.
But worst of all, I curse you to read this blog forever. Reading its mistakes, cringing at its content, and wishing that you did something more with your life.
Bitter Friday Bitterians
ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Cursed Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Riding an ice block into church is > riding a unicorn!
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Unicorns can get a little tricky, especially when their horn goes backwards and you are a dude.
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Therefore freezing > impaling?
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I agree.
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Read this blog forever? I’ve already been reading it since near the beginning. Your sorcery has worked.
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My scocery has only worked on you apparently. Perhaps you are the most easily suseptable to bitter magic.
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Ben, that’s just not fair! I wasn’t even home–I was in a southern state and did not check my email at all, so now you curse a faithful reader. Take it off! Take it off now! I have Italian curses that are very powerful, so don’t mess with me, man. I can curdle your spaghetti sauce like nothin’.
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I’m sure you could curse me something fierce, but I’m sure it isn’t any worse than the ones I am currently in the middle of.
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You know, I think I’d feel more cursed if my domino pyramid fell apart while the camera weren’t recording it. It’s just such a beautiful domino-fall, you know?
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The dominos probably represent that guys life, so he is probably pretty bitter that his life just fell apart before his very eyes.
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Oh. You were serious about that? The cloud told me you were just kidding. The clouds, they lie to me. You know how it is.
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I think you and the clouds are in a conspiracy to get me. Don’t deny it.
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And a voodoo curse on you BB. (Those one-two jabs really hurt!)
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So you do voodoo, oh poo poo.
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I suddenly feel utterly uplifted; like those cows in the middle of tornadoes.
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That’s what happens when you have your head in the clouds. You think you are being uplifted.
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May I speak to pizza?
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This is pizza. How may I not help you?
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I happily accept your curse and raise you a poltergeist visitation. Lucy
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I call on the poltergeist visitation and raise you a Patronus.
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Ill see your Patronus and raise you a densaugeo.
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I wish I knew what a densaugeo was, but anyways, I raise you a goblin.
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I’ll gett you back, BIG time!
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Now I’m in trouble.
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i’m sorry i couldn’t save you because a cloud took my head away. why didn’t you save me, so i could save you.
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Because you didn’t save me.
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it’s the clouds fault
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it was hard to see through the clouds.
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yes it’s foggy inside clouds, except when Endora rides a plane through the clouds
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at least someone is fighting against the clouds.
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endora fights everyone. she can turn you into a cloud
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She could make me all misty.
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sing misty again sam
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My vision is kind of clouded.
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b/c you live in a state that’s always cloudy
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Or it could be because I am losing my vision.
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i couldn’t see what you were saying.LOL .. i have olive oil in my eyes
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Popeye has some Olive Oil in his spinach.
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LOL yes he does..my eyelashes need olive oil.
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My bitterness needs some spinach.
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i was getting ready to throw some spinach away .
vinegar makes spinach bitter & me also
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Talk to popeye about that.
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do you think i can find popeye if i walk to the beach.
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Yep, he is the one fighting all the Brutuses on the beach.
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i will look for him.. i am on the porch, b/c it’s raining in the hall & this man ran by 5 x’s, but in the same direction.LOL .. how did he do that… one way sidewalk to beach.
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I guess he is scoping you out. Plus he is magic.
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who was i looking for i forgot? & forgot what i was going to tell you..easter bunny uses scope or listerine?
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a man that was on the beach that kept walking by.
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oh no we are down to 2 from 10 comments now. you are mad b/c i didn’t save you.
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We are down to 2 comments? Sorry. I’m just so busy at work. Sorry.
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oh it’s alright.i’m busy thinking about where i will go what will become of me. lol
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because you will be in the hospital with all the asbestos?
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mold…..built in 1989 ,so no asbestos..ward cleaver , beaver’s dad has asbestos gloves
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does mold attract mice, because they always hanging around our house.
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cheese attracts mice. raccoons attract mice
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Racoons need to eat mice.
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raccoonnns need to move to scotland.
i have raccoon hiku.
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Is Scotland nice to racoons?
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i will have to ask your twin….my i keeps sticking.. i have to hit it like 3 x’s.
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Ah how I’ve missed these. I curse you! Lol
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Stupid real life is always getting in the way huh? Oh and I curse you bad, you stinking stand up comedianne.
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