Earth Day Bitterness

As we prepare in March for Earth Day, we chop down a bunch of trees.

As we prepare in March for Earth Day, we chop down a bunch of trees and make piles of paper.

April is an awesome month for a number of reasons.  First of all, April stalks March and puts it out of its misery the moment it ends.  Even at young age, I recognized that March made me bitter.  Growing up in South Dakota, the weather was miserable, it was always a rough month for homework with tests and holidays that we didn’t get off.  And it is always 31 days.  Could 31 days happen for a worse month?  Now, as an old person, working for a sales company that depends on every little sale to get a bonus, March is our fiscal year end, which means long hours, upset customers, and stacks of paper going to the ceiling.  When it finally ends, I breath a sigh of bitterness, and April comes along to breathe fresh bitterness into the air.  Not only that but on April 1st, you get to play the cruelest and bitterest pranks and jokes on people, only to get out of any punishment by saying four simple words, “April Fools Day Sucker!”  Hopefully if you were cruel enough in your proke(prank/joke) that person will remain bitter with you forever.

Some people just don't share my enthusiasm for my birthday.

Some people just don’t share my enthusiasm for my birthday.

There is a dark, bitter side to April though. My Birthday is cool for the presents and the praise, but other people talking to me kind of sucks the life out of it.  Give me presents and move on, let me be old and bitter.  But here is the worst part of April.  Earth Day.

Though Earth day is a magical time of the year, the Earth Day season starts earlier and earlier.  When I was a young, I remember the magic of Earth Day Eve, when we would all get together as a family and read stories and have a special Earth Day feast, and then my parents would force us to go to bed.  Of course we couldn’t sleep, knowing that we would be up at the crack of dawn, waking our parents.  Before we could gather around the Earth Day tree we had to make my parents breakfast.   Back in the day we didn’t start the season before April Fools Day.  Now it seems the stores are already putting up the decorations before St. Patrick’s Day even ends.

Some kids wish it was Earth Day everyday, but then we would always just be opening presents and that would get old after a while.

Some kids wish it was Earth Day everyday, but then we would always just be opening presents and that would get old after a while.

Speaking of decorations, as much as I love them, they are just so much work.  Going up to the attic, plugging in all the lights, planting all the trees, it seems like you do all this work, just for one day.  Then, the day after I feel like I am taking lights down, and the whole spirit of the holiday just disappears.

How about the music?  It’s okay at first, because it is kind of a change of pace, but after a week or two of hearing it on every station, at every mall, and store, I just want to go somewhere that isn’t playing it.   Can we just outlaw it until the week before?

The worst part of the season is the commercialism.  Does anyone remember the real reason for the season?  I mean Black April Fool’s day is getting so nuts that people aren’t even waiting until dinner is served on April Fool’s Night, before they are off to the early bird sales.  How can we make those poor retail associates work on April Fool’s night?  It not about the presents or the trees or the decorations or even the together time with family.  It’s about the dirt, and the tsunami’s , and the drought, and the volcanic eruptions, and the dandelions.  They are the true meanings of Earth Day.

Welcome to the Bitter Side Earth.

Welcome to the Bitter Side, Earth.

While I think that all the presents and the family time and decorations and even the shopping at the mall can be a part of the season, let’s just remember the dirt.  This bitter dirt, the cranky bees, the poisoned water, the blackberry bushes that make us bitter, that is the true meaning of Earth Day.  Do not forget the trees-on for the season.

Bitter Earth Day (Only 4 days left!  Three until Earth Day Eve!)

Bitter Earthen Ben

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34 thoughts on “Earth Day Bitterness

  1. Pingback: Day after Bitterness | Ben's Bitter Blog

  2. Pingback: Riot Bitterness | Ben's Bitter Blog

  3. Earthday? Is that when “The Hippies” put down their gangii sticks and plant trees? Then, they go home and plant more weed? I’m bitter just WRITING about those damn hippies! Oh by the way HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Enjoy!! 🙂


  4. Hi, Bitter Ben, You might want to add Anti-Earth Day Un-Environmental Studies to your curriculum at the B.I.T.T.E.R School of Bitterness. I am seeking an academic scholarship once it opens. See you there! Happy Birthday!


    • I will be bitter to look over your application when you send it in. It is gloomy place, so I hope you can deal with pain, rejection, sarcasm, back-biting, passive aggressiveness and back biting, you will be a good candidate. Please do a lot of practicing in the mirror.


      • Eeek – the earthday wave sloshes to europe! Very first time in my life got a commercial for. I have to admitt we have a lack of money making clebrations at april but I did’nt miss anything without! Halloween also started like this 10 years ago…… grrrrr


  5. Oh, what memories you bring up about Earth Day Eve. My favorite part when my kids were young was when we’d gather around in the dark to save energy and by candlelight pour over a teaching manual about acid rain. The look in my little ones’ eyes when I told them that they were partly responsible for the earth’s destruction because they liked plastic toys was truly priceless. We all laughed and joked about pig feces toxins in the rivers as we heated our hot dogs over the last bit of beeswax. This was before all the honeybees started dying.


  6. Did you know the founder of Earth Day was a murderer? Just a little tidbit I thought you’d like to know. Here’s an article about him.
    His girlfriend was my Aunt’s best friend in high school, so I heard all about it growing up, and hated earth day ever since. Just to add more bitterness to your post. 🙂 Happy Earth Month. Or whatever.


  7. You are so right about Black April Fool’s Day getting out of hand. …That also sounds like a movie Tyler Perry will be producing soon.

    I plan on causing pollution and not recycling on Earth Day this year.


    • I was worried about calling it that, but I was hoping that no one else reads it that way and the controversy passes with out sparking a debate on Nightline.

      You are just one of the “cause pollution only on Earth Day” people. I try to think of earth day all year round by causing pollution and not recycling all year round.


    • The reason: either we stay and never leave the state, so no one gets to meet us in the wild, or we leave and never go back and are so ashamed that we pretend that we are from North Dakota. I slipped up and am now exposed. Bitter.


  8. I’m always impressed by the way your bitter blogs steals my bitterness right out of me. When I move on from this splendidly bitter page I will try to resummon my bitterness and likely fail. Aargh!


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