Parking makes me so bitter.  I drive a car a lot, because you know I do stuff, like work at a place and then I have to drive home to a place, then I go to the grocery store or whatever or go to the mall and my monstrous car has to sit somewhere.  By monstrous, I mean it weighs several tons and you can’t bring it inside the grocery store.  You are supposed to leave it somewhere.  So then follows this whole need to have parking spaces.  And I’m not sure why.  Can’t I just leave my care whereever it is convenient?  Who invented the whole parking space and why are some slanted and some small and compact and how come some people get better spots than me?  Why is there a space for expectant mothers in the Auburn parking lot?  I mean aren’t all women potentially expectant mothers?  And why are cops able to get a spot in the parking lot closer than everyone else? Don’t cops get a free parking spot wherever they want?  Isn’t the siren on their car enough a “free parking” sticker? And why in the heavens do I have to pay for a parking spot in some places?  For goodness sake, the free ones are the same as the $60 ones.  They both have two parallel lines, both have about the same amount of asphalt and yet if I park in downtown Seattle I have to pay, where as if I park in my driveway, I can park for free.  And who makes up the times I can park somewhere.  How can I park only 5-8 in the morning, but I can’t park 8-5.  What makes that space so fobidden when people are awake, but when they are asleep it all of a sudden no big deal?  And how come for all kinds of time some spots are $5 one minute, but if there is a crappy Mariner’s game they charge $20?  I mean shouldn’t the Mariner’s be paying us to park at their crappy game?  I mean if we are paying these millionaires to play, shouldn’t they pay us back when they lose or at least vouch for our parking spot? One more thing.  I parked in the mall today next to a car that was almost sideways, yet in the lines.  I was tempted to just move on to another spot, but why should I?  I am bitter and I’ll do what I want.  I came back an hour later and they left a note on my car that said, and I almost quote, “Try not to park like an a–hole next time…Thanx! :)” (The only thing I edited was the swear word.)  I get that sometimes I do park like one of those and do deserve a note like this, but not today.  I was in the lines perfectly placed where I was supposed to be.  This person parked like and @#$%^$#, but was mad that their side was blocked.  The worst part of all was that I’m not bitter about the rudeness of the note, but that they misspelled the word thanks and they did a smiley.  I mean come on! If you are going to be bitter, don’t put a smiley face!  Show your real bitterness! Do you ever see me smile?  No, because I am bitter!

ARRRRGGGHHHH

Bitter Ben