I am so bitter about Carbon.  I mean first they want to copy everything you do.  I have some in my checkbook.  Not cool to copy all my personal info, Carbon.  And second, Carbon is half of Carbon Monoxide, which is a killer way to make someone not feel so good.  What did we ever do to you Carbon and Monoxide?  It’s not like we infected your room with death bringing gas and made you all queezy?  But now researchers from Wikipedia tell me that Carbon is essential to all know living systems.  Why are you so nosy Carbon?  Why must you always be involved in everything?  First you want to be part of coal and next you want graphite and cotton.  Next, I suppose you will want to be part of carbon fibers!  You just can’t let oxygen or Angelina Jolie’s leg have the spotlight for once.  You have to go infecting life as we know with all your essentialness.  Carbon, you make me bitter and want to lash out at my neighbors.  Stop being all combiny with everything!

Look at Carbon, being all smug

!!  AAAARGH!