I was so busy hanging out in my head yesterday that I forgot that the NCAA Basketball tournament was going on. I used to care about it when I was younger, but now I can barely manage to fill out a bracket, let alone care about any of the games. Besides, there is a better … Continue reading Voices in my Head BFG’s
Industry Plant BFG’s
For some reason, there are people in this world that like to garden. Some say it's because they like to get fresh vegetables from their garden. Others say it's because they like digging in dirt. Still others say they it's their therapy, or their way of relaxing. I have counterpoints to each of those terrible … Continue reading Industry Plant BFG’s
Soft as the Other Side of the Pillow BFG’s
Most of my opinions are unpopular, but this is one that most people oppose. I like Monday's waaaay better than I like Tuesday's or even Wednesday's. I've talked about this before, but it was 13 years ago when I started this blog, so I think I can duplicate an opinion every once in a while. … Continue reading Soft as the Other Side of the Pillow BFG’s
Background Character Energy BFG’s
I've never been good at remembering words in a sequence. When it comes to singing along to a song, I can belt out a chorus, but as soon as the lyrics come, I'm mumbling some new words that never existed. When I was in 3rd grade, I was forced to have a part in a … Continue reading Background Character Energy BFG’s
Roller Coaster Ride BFG’s
Have you ever felt like you were supposed to have grown up in a different family, a different era, or city, and you were just soooo close to being in that one era, but just like in some romantic comedy, you keep just missing that opportunity that would have made you rich, or that one … Continue reading Roller Coaster Ride BFG’s
Family Text Chain BFG’s
My kids will never know a world where texting doesn't exist. The first time I tried to text was a pretty awful experience. I had the basic-est of phones, a silver, rectangular Nokia that only had a tiny screen and a number pad. People kept telling me that you could type words that made sentences … Continue reading Family Text Chain BFG’s
Hacking Into Prison BFG’s
I've always tried my best to stay out of prison. I'm claustrophobic, for goodness sakes. I can't possibly imagine having to spend all my time in a 6 ft. X 8 ft. room for most of the day. Also, I'm an introvert. If I was forced to speak to people all the time, like having … Continue reading Hacking Into Prison BFG’s
Geek Mythology BFG’s
Believe it or not, when I was in 5th grade, I was a painfully shy, awkward mess of a person with only 1 or 2 friends. I wore sweatpants most days to school that I pulled up way too far. I didn't wear glasses, but if I did I would've looked like Urkel. I was … Continue reading Geek Mythology BFG’s
Bitter Bubble Boy BFG’s
Call me Bitter Bubble Boy. I reside in the small comfort zone of the 10-minute, 4 mile area between my house and work. Back in Seattle in my early 30's, I had a 30-minute-to-work-45-minute-home commute. That got extended when my office decided to move even farther away, which turned into a 45-minute-to-work-1-hour-to-get-home. I decided that … Continue reading Bitter Bubble Boy BFG’s
Chapter 11 BFG’s
I don't know if many people know this, but I've been writing a book for about 20 years now, and when it is published, it will change the industry. First, I will self-publish, and I'll sell a couple copies to my parents, make my kids buy it (for all the misery they've caused me) and … Continue reading Chapter 11 BFG’s
Join My Cult BFG’s
I've had a long and storied history with Netflix. Unlike my kids, I was born before the existence of Netflix. The only way I was able to watch movies was in a theater. Technology moved fast though and as I grew up, Blockbuster and other video stores allowed us to rent movies after they came … Continue reading Join My Cult BFG’s
The Bitter Holiday Committee BFG’s
The days are getting darker and darker, which as you know, means that it is almost Christmas. The celebration of the birth of Jesus. Which is funny because we know he wasn't actually born in December. He was actually born in the spring. The reason why the Holiday Committee moved Christmas to December is because … Continue reading The Bitter Holiday Committee BFG’s
Hibernation BFG’s
When I first moved to South Dakota in June of 1981, we lived in a hotel for three months while our house was being built. Living in a hotel for three months was awesome for a bitter 8-year-old. My dad's company paid for everything, so we got to eat breakfast at the hotel every morning. … Continue reading Hibernation BFG’s
Hey Chat BFG’s
The other day when I was doing my early-morning, freezing-in-the-dark-and-cold jog/walking, I was reminiscing about and accomplishment that Tim Duncan, who is one of the All-Time Great NBA players, achieved. He won NBA titles in three different decades. His first one was in 1999, he got three more in the 00's, and then he got … Continue reading Hey Chat BFG’s
It’s Manatee Madness Month BFG’s
Every year since I've started to write, there's been this NaNoWriMO thing hovering over me, telling me to write 50,000 words in a month. As much fun as it sounds to write that many words, (which I might actually do with my blog and book combined), I don't know how in the world they expect … Continue reading It’s Manatee Madness Month BFG’s
Cluster Bombs
The biggest reason for bitterness of all time is traffic. I'm so bitter that I've spent 25% of my life sitting in a slow-moving, four-wheel metal container for hours next to raging psychopaths that were one accident removed from going Simpson's Road Rage on someone. It's a dangerous place out there, and one I've spent … Continue reading Cluster Bombs
Keystone BFG’s
When I was 21 years old, I just got home from serving a mission for my church, and I was looking for a summer job, so I could have some money for college. I didn't want to work at Little Caesar's for the minimum wage of $2.75 anymore, so I found a job at a … Continue reading Keystone BFG’s
Game Hooks BFG’s
Last night was probably the best Halloween ever. After work, I went home expecting to have to hand out free candy to a bunch of brats that didn't deserve it. I heard the first doorbell ring of the night, and my wife was on the phone. She quickly told me that she didn't buy any … Continue reading Game Hooks BFG’s
I’m walking for President BFG’s
I've never been a big Halloween guy. Even the best part about Halloween, the candy, was ruined by Halloween. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Before Halloween, the world was filled with full sized candy bars as far as the eye could see. But then Halloween got this horrible idea to ruin candy, by … Continue reading I’m walking for President BFG’s
ASMR Bitterness
I like to call October, November and December the holiday quadrant of the year. Many believe that September is the beginning of it all, because some people start decorating for Halloween in September. Every month in the holiday quadrant has a major holiday that people start celebrating extra early for, starting with Halloween, transitioning to … Continue reading ASMR Bitterness
Ben's Bitter Blog 