My life gets really hectic sometimes. I have all kinds of people to ignore, situations that take time to avoid, and work that needs to be done that I need to find excuses for not doing. It is a hectic life and one that doesn’t allow a lot of time for ambition. It’s not easy being lazy. With all the easy to do distractions like games and TV and social media feeds to mess up, it doesn’t leave me a whole lot of time to listen to people and give them a quality sarcastic answer complete with a heavy sigh.
It was a lot easier as a teenager to not care, and blow off parents. I was in a lot better shape and my mind cared a little, you know?
Now that I’m older and curvier, I just don’t have the desire to give you a fully cared about sarcastic answer. I still want to appear like I don’t care, just like when I was a teenager, but without all the fuss.
Therefore, I will be inventing this thing, when I get around to it, called the Bitter Auto Sarcastic Answerer. It will be a fully developed voice box to handle all your sarcastic answers to people, along with the right enthusiasm you used to have for not caring about someone or something.
Old people say that this thing have given them their life back.
“Just when I thought my sarcasm had fallen and not gotten back up, BASA, gave me my bitter back,” says longtime sarcasm sufferer Earl “Couchy” Banks.
“I thought I would never get my enthusiasm for making others feel stupid for saying obvious things with my sarcastic remarks again. BASA is a bitter saying miracle!”
Just because you’ve gotten older, doesn’t mean you have give up your sarcasm.
Get your sarcasm back with your Bitter Auto Sarcasm Answerer.
ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Sarcasm Creator Ben
HA! Too funny!!! π
I am not sarcastic very often…but I birth-ed some very sarcastic people. HA! π
Years ago they bought a sign for me that says “National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support.”
In honor of our feud, I am inventing the SACA (Sweet Auto Compliment Answerer)! π HA! π
HUGS!!! π
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That sounds good. We will both have machinces and we will compete to see who gets more sales. In the end, I will win. Because either I will get more money and crush my competition, or lose and be really bitter about it. Either way, I win…and lose.
I wish someone would get ME that sign. Now I’m bitter that someone didn’t get one for me.
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In case you need people to test prototypes on, I’m right here! And I live in Europe, so play your cards well and before you know it the whole World could become sarcastic over time >:)
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Awesome. I know that some Europeans definitely need some help with sarcasm. Others like you don’t, but it will come in handy when you don’t really want to deal with people.
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Yes, this will feed my laziness. I mean, make multitasking even easier.
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Helping feed your laziness is something I can get on board with.
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Oh where oh where can I buy a BASA! Truly enjoy the bitterness here.
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I think they will be on Infomercials between 3:00-3:01 am on the Lifetime network. Should be a big hit with the 3:00 am serial stalker lady demographic.
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LOL! Its a technology whose time has come π
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Right! If they can land on the moon and put a scooter on Mars…
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We are bitterly misguided in our technology.
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Right? Seems like such a waste to go to the Moon and Mars. It makes much better sense to make BASA’s that are more useful to mankind.
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Triple B,
You are a trailblazer, but you knew that already.
BASA is going to change lives for the snarkier!
God bless you. Really.
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Thanks Single S. I know that life will be changed for the bitter, as soon as I get around to doing, the problem being is that I will probably get around to doing it about 50 years after I die.
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You take “speaking cryptically” to a whole new level, you know that?
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It’s because of my many years in the Matrix.
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That makes sense.
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Ooh! Anything with a cool acroynym (BASA!) will definitely be a hit. You know, once you eventually get around to it, anyway…
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That will definitely be a problem, because I’m 50 things behind on ignoring. I know I will make lots of money doing it, but I’m too lazy to get around to doing it, even with the cool acronym.
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Will you be selling the BASA on QVC, or is that too much to ask of you?
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That is definitely too much to ask of me. I hope that someone will just build it for me as well as sell it for me. I’m too lazy to do anything in this transaction except collect the paycheck for it.
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