Borientation Bitter Friday Giftures

/ bensbitterblog

 

For all you The Office fan’s out there, the borientation is what Micheal Scott calls the orientation that Toby wants Micheal to give when he welcomes the new members of the Stamford branch.

Of course, Micheal always has different ideas, more creative ideas, just like most of us creative people. He decides to make a video with a little bit of a zing. And that is the way all boring things should be. Feel free to steal all the gifs below to zing up any boring thing you need to do today. So if your lunch is crappy, spread a little gifture on it, to give it some zing. If your excel spreadsheet is making your eyes bug out from all the dull it is bringing, sprinkle it with a big dose of Friday Giftures. If your boss is yelling at you yet again, slap his or her face with a little gifture (and while you are at it, film that sucker, send it to me, and it will be featured on the next Friday Giftures). Until then, here are your Bitter Friday Giftures.

Could you babysit your new little sister…

… nah, I’m good.

Don’t worry, you can jump on Captain America’s Sheild…

…it’s made of Vibraniummmm…or maybe not.

I was wondering if you could break the toilet…

…oh thanks.

Hey can you do that trick where you flip up, fall off your skateboard, and punch yourself in the face? …

…no trouble, bro.

Hey, when I walk through the hallway, can you show me that ballerina kick and acutally kick me in the face with it…

…sure no problem.

Hey look that way so I can whack you with a pillow…

…you got it.

Hey, can you throw the ball across the street, so I can miss it and accidentally knock someone over?…

…consider it done, sir.

I’m looking for someone to dig a really long ditch and fill it with water so my dog can do a bunch of 360’s all the way down it…

…we specialize in ditches just like that.

Do you sell toasters that when they pop up will scare 4 years enough to the point where they will fall over?

…Right this way, ma’am.

I was hoping you had lightbulbs that will bounce when they are first dropped into a garbage sack, but broke immediately after they landed on the tile floor…

…it’s your lucky day, sir. We just got those back in stock this morning.

Do you have someone that can kick me in the face?

…yes, we just hired someone last week.

Okay guys, we have this chair on the roof, so stand in the back of the pickup truck while I drop it directly on Dave, so he can perform a flip right onto the ground. 

…perfect, I’m ready.

It’s amazing how these gifs people’s plans worked out perfectly. I guess it is true when they say you should speak your goals into existence. I mean, it’s worked for me. When I was young, I used to talk about how I wanted to be bitter when I grew up. Look at how bitter I am today.

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Borientation Ben

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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43 thoughts on “Borientation Bitter Friday Giftures”

  2. Great GIFs!

    The company I work for discovered that people were being creative during working hours and so banned the use of all GIFs, JPGs, and any other form of visual, audible, or olfactory downloads under the pretense that we might “violate copyrights or trademarks”. As a result, our spreadsheets, PowerPoints, etc. are now back down in the acceptable range of “mind numbingly boring”.

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  5. I can’t believe the chair on the roof trick didn’t work flawlessly. I mean . . it seemed like such a sure thing! And that kid who punched himself in the face? Maybe he just wanted to cut out the middleman.

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