Coming soon to an Office near you

The intro.

I am about as big a fan of The Office fan as there gets. Aside from the lunatics on the internet anyways.  Since the day we got Netflix, I have watched The Office nonstop. My wife thinks I’m crazy to keep watching the same show over and over again. I have almost memorized all of Jim’s different camera stares (so much so that I practice them when I’m in the real world), all of Micheal Scott’s word mishaps, and Dwight’s insane idiosyncrasies.

I get a lot of ideas and most of them are terrible, so when I get a brilliant one, I have to blog about it. The other day, my daughter and I were talking. She loves drama. Not the real life kind(well, a little. She is a teenager after all), but the kind where she acts and sings and dances on stage.

My daughter can’t quote any of The Office, but she makes fun of me by singing the theme song whenever I have it on. Duh nuuuh, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh, duh duh duh duh duh duh duh nuh….The Office’s theme song is probably more ingrained in my head than any of the Top 40 songs on the radio and they play those things 4 times an hour. The Office is a brilliant show, and it deserves more than to just be viewed on reruns forever. It needs to live on in a new form.  I think you probably know where I am going with this. That’s right.

Michael singing the opening number.

The Office: The Musical. On Broadway. Written by me and my daughter. How amazing would it be to have the opening theme song played by a full scale, world renown orchestra. On the most brilliant stages across the county. Violins, Basses, Trumpets, Bassoons, and even Tuba’s. Then, the curtain is pulled open, and introducing…Micheal Scott(whispered like he does in Episode 45)….

The introduction would show Micheal giving Ryan the tour around the Office, Pam would be answering the phone, “Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.”  and Jim standing at the desk. Then the opening number, “Dunder Mifflin”.

The Office romances would be involved. Jim and Pam would dominate the stage, but Micheal’s botched attempts, Andy and his many fails, and even the Dwight and Angela full series arcs would be in play.

There will be the Micheal Scott saga of trying to fill his lonely void by making his employees his family, despite their many attempts not to return his affection. There will be the Michael-Toby rivalry. The Jim arc will happen as he attempts to work his hardest to not work hard, prank Dwight and not find himself in a career at Dunder Mifflin.

And there will be Dwight, with his endless attempts to get revenge against Jim, his most subtle and not obvious at all relationship with Angela, and his attempts to finally become the number 1 in the Office. And who would be more theatrical on stage than a guy who loves Battlestar Galactica and created Recyclops.

Recyclops Destroy!

Angela will be her most prudishly hypocritical self, Kevin will be the chilli spilling Cookie Monster, Oscar will be the office smart guy and most understood gay guy ever, Phyllis as the incompetent party planner and least self aware sex symbol, and Creed, well, he will just be Creed.

Pranks. They will be a part of it. From the FBI recruiting Dwight, to the stapler in the Jello, to the Identity Theft is not a joke Jim and Bears Beet Battlestar Galactica, to Dwight’s desk being wrapped in wrapping paper, to becoming part of Megadesk, to it being moved to the bathroom and beyond, pranks will be center stage.

Every meticulously mispronounced word will be uttered by Micheal Scott, from starting a Fire by mistake Guy Ryan to starting a fire on purpose Dwight, to fake firings by Michael Scott. To Christmas with two Santas to Christmas with two parties to Christmas in Morroco there will be Christmas.

There will be roads trips. From visiting Nashua to get Holly back, to visiting Utica to get Stanley back, to visiting the bowling alley to get Ryan back, to absorbing Stamford to get Jim back.

Just one of the millions of awkward moments.

Most of all there will be awkward moments. From Karen seeing Jim ducked down in the parking lot with a warehouse uniform on, to Michael’s wedding toast at Phyllis and Bob Vance’s wedding to his date to the Dawahli party dressing up as a cheerleader, to Michael imposing his photo in his girlfriends ski trip. There will be photos of Jan passed around the office to wedding proposals that are the worst.  There will of course be Scott’s Tot’s and who could forget The Dinner Party.

Join us on Broadway coming next year. It will totally be ready then. It won’t be awkward at all when you spend all your money on the trip and accommodations and for the show and you don’t get what you expect, it will be awkward. But that is what the Office is all about. Awkward.


Bitter The Office Musical Ben


31 thoughts on “Coming soon to an Office near you

  1. Pingback: BitterStradamus – Bitter Entertainment Network

  2. Hey, I love The Office too. Too much. And, the theme against the Scranton shots is my go-to happy place. Can it be that? It just is! I have finally found someone on WordPress who loves it as much as I do 😀


  3. This may cause me to be banned from your blog, but I never saw the American version. I absolutely adored the British version – watched every episode. I couldn’t bear to potentially sully that.


  4. Can I play the role of Holly? Then I could do a quick romantic, goofball duet with Michael Scott, then exit stage right. And he loses his mojo until he finally chases after me, and we get married right there in the Office. Or something like that.


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