Up when the post is well thought out and has good grammar, down when it was thrown together this morning.
I don’t know about my other fellow bloggers, but I’ve noticed several things over the 3 1/2 years of doing posts on 4-5 post a week clip. One of the biggest takeaways I’ve had is that you never know which posts will do well and which ones will fail. In fact, it seems like the ones I predicted people would love are the ones that fail the most spectacularly and the ones I thought sucked, do really well.
Another thing I notice is that sometimes the post will do well not because of the spectacular writing skills, but the subject.
The third thing I notice is that the comments don’t always skew toward what I thought people would talk about. Case in point, my last post about Introverts vs. Extroverts. It was a simple, rushed together post that I was just trying to get done before I had to work on something else. It is a fascinating subject to me, and one that I would have loved to delve into way more, but really didn’t have the time or energy to.
The post didn’t exactly go viral, but it inspired more comments than the average post. A few of them leaned toward the extrovert vs. introvert debate, but most of them came from what I thought was a throwaway line in the intro.
The line: “Some claim there are weirdo’s called ambiverts (a combination of both), but then again, some people claim there is such a thing as unicorns, dragons and people that don’t like Cheetos.”
That one line cause more comments than anything about the Introverts vs. Extroverts debate.
I had a few comments about ambiverts and a couple about unicorns, but the one that I thought was the slam dunk part of that line was that I thought absolutely no one out there didn’t like Cheetos. Boy was I wrong (for the first time ever). Four separate commenters said they not only didn’t like Cheetos, but they “hated” them.
Just like the flaming hot hatred some people have for Cheetos.
So I had to know. What did Cheetos do to offend these people so? These are my guesses:
People don’t like Chester Cheetah. What is not to like about an adorable old man looking Cheetah that doesn’t really run fast, isn’t much of a cheetah, and wears sunglasses indoor like they used to in the 80’s? So, he’s kind of a punk that encourages bad behavior like bribing a concierge with the magical 4th piece of the medley of cheesy flavors Chipotle Cheddar, Salsa Picante, Jalepeno Cheddar and Cheddar so he will get fired by allowing them to swim in the pool? How could he be considered offensive at all?
He doesn’t have an easy life.
It’s that leftover cheese dust isn’t it? Let’s be honest. Value as a commodity is way overrated. When you pay for something, you want it to just be the one thing you paid for and nothing extra, right? Who needs things like BOGO or Buy one get on free? Why would I want to eat a whole bag of Cheetos, then want some leftover dust on my fingers to be added to the whole packaging? That’s like buying something for $19.50, paying with a $20 and expecting change back. Seriously, man get your extra cheese dust away from me.
Such a bad value.
Is it the offensive orange color? There is an excessive amount of colors in this world. Not only do we have primary colors, but all kinds of different shades of them too. It’s time to cut back. I say we stick with 7. Red, blue, green, yellow, purple, black and white. Who needs orange on the spectrum? I mean Red and Yellow shouldn’t have to be forced to intermingle ever. Red is for stopping, and Yellow is for caution. If we mixed them together we would get stop with caution, and there are way too many mixed signals there. Traffic would be chaos. Also, one of them is from Mars and one is from Venus, so they should never combine to make a baby color like orange right? That’s just gross. And Halloween needs to stop using orange because it seems to similar to fall. And fall should be banned from using orange because it clashes with all the other fall colors.
Quit infecting fall, orange. You are just gross and clashy.
Maybe it’s because people hate cheese. Cheese is just the worst. I mean really. Gross. It is like milk that is like curdled right? And cheese doesn’t go well with anything. Not with pizza, or burgers or pasta or even eating alone. It especially doesn’t mix well with a crunchy bunch of air.
Pizza is so just so much better without cheese.
Is it that people don’t like that it has lots of calories? If something has a lot of calories, you know it is gross, right? Chocolate is gross, ice cream is gross, candy at Halloween is gross, pizza is gross. It’s the super healthy foods that are really good for us that is the most succulent. Ever have some of that so tasty kale for an afternoon snack? How about a bitter tasting rhubarb when you just need something to junk out on? How about a big crunchy bit of an onion to sweeten up your day? Nothing like a nice juicy handful of kidney beans when you are having a Netflix binging marathon?
Ice cream is so gross because it has a lot of calories.
It must be that Cheetos don’t go with a certain flavor of drink. It just doesn’t seem to blend with that Chateau Fiji Water of 2013, or that Diet Pepsi Max Vintage 2014. And it definitely doesn’t blend well with the tarty and meaty flavor of Gatorade Frost Glacier Cherry of 2015. On the other hand, have you mixed a very healthy apple with some Cherry Limeade 2013? The flavor only makes you pucker up so very little.
Cheetos don’t even go with a vintage 2013 Gatorade Frost Glacier Cherry.
I’ve learned so much today. If it wasn’t for the completely random statement I made in my post two days ago, I never would have found out how offensive Cheetos were to the general population. I am so very thankful to my commenters for bringing the offensiveness of Cheetos to my attention. I am glad that I was able to do the research about Cheetos and why they are so offensive to the palate. Speaking of which, I’m hungry for breakfast. Cheetos anyone?
ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Cheesy Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Favorite Line: we need to cut back on colors. LOL. got my mind off the damn election for five seconds.
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Yeah, colors are kind of the worst. I’ve been pretty good at avoiding the election. I saw stuff the night of, but thankfully we don’t have cable, so we missed most of the aftershocks.
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Alright you saved yourself…this time. (:-0
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I live to be bitter another day!
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I am shocked and appalled that there are people in this world who don’t like Cheetos. World shattered. This is why I’m an introvert. I don’t want to know the truth about people. I prefer to live in my own little world where I can feed Cheetos to my Unicorn and the fifth dentist also recommends Trident.
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Yeah, the fifth Dentist that doesn’t recommend Trident definitely recommends Cheetos. And that is a dentist I want to have.
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LOL, your posts are seriously hilarious! I will admit to having gotten probably 30% of my calories as a child from Cheetos so I actually am literally largely made of Cheetos. Also I named one of my dogs Cheetoz (with a Z because that was so cool when I was 13…) That all being said I really don’t like Chester Cheetah, he just thinks he’s way too cool and I just want to punch him in the face.
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Plus he has those sunglasses. I may not be 30% Cheetos or zzz’s but I know for a fact that I’m 60% minimum cheese. (A good portion from pizza.)
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I am in love with old Chester! He’s such a naughty ole cheetah how can one not love him? I also love it when my finger’s turn yellow and sticky cause that’s some good flavor right there! Even IF a person looks a wee bit too old to be sucking on their didgits..
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Chester is cheesy, but that is just the way I like him. Besides, I’m pretty cheesy and love cheese so not much to not like here.
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I couldn’t live in a world without all thing’s cheese starting with my cheesy self, that cheap gnarly drippy nacho cheese from 7-11 to the huge white piece of cheese up in the night sky. The one that people call the moon because they are lacking knowledge and brains for something that is very obvious. If people could only give cheese the r.e.s.p.c.e.t. it deserves it would change the world for the better including world peace. It’s all about the cheese…
(And thanks Ben. Now I won’t rest until I take a walk to the store for a huge bag of Cheeto’s!! I need some eye candy today too so I simply must spend some time with Chester!) ;D
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The moon is so much cooler than the sun. Literally and figuratively. I kind of wonder if the moon melts over Saturn during the day while the sun is out. All I know is that since the moon is cheese it tasted so much better.
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Ooo!! Saturn covered in cheesy goodness must have tasted heavenly!
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I’d probably get a little ice from Pluto and make it a meal!
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I hear Pluto tastes pretty darn good! Btw I did end up walking to the store to buy two large bags of perfectly crunchy Chester Cheetos so if I wake up thirsty in the night from all that scrumptious cheesy goodness, I’m going to be bitter.. 😀
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As you know, a lot of drinks mix well with Cheetos, so any old drink will help with that. And congrats on your Cheetos purchase!
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CHEETOOOOS! I have Cheeto passions. I enjoy all kinds of Cheetos but mainly, I like the cheesy puffs. I agree about the color, though. I am not a fan of orange unless it’s pumpkin and then I understand because they can’t help themselves.
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I’m a huge fan of the crunchy ones though the puffy ones will do in a pinch. I guess I’ve always liked crunchy things. Peanut butter, crunch bars, etc.
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Crunchy things are fantastic! I like when they’re super crunchy but get upset when my crunchy Cheetos are puffy. I mean, choose who you are and stop confusing me, Cheetos!
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We don’t ask for much other than a cheesy crunchy taste to satisfy us until lunch but please don’t cause confusion!
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The luminosity and the flavour are what I hate – same reason I’m not a Doritos fan. Healthiness be damned, there are loads of tasty crisps out there! I like the cheetah, great introduction to him. He reminds me of Tony the Tiger from Frosties, I wonder if they play golf together
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The flavor is what I like about them. But, I guess some people like onions and shrimp and I don’t. People will never agree on the same thing taste wise. Lesson learned. I think even if all people love pizza, everyone loves different toppings on it.
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those cheeto haters will never be able to live life to the fullest
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Right? How could anyone really live until they have downed a bag of Cheetos?
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lololol
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My biggest ally in the Cheetos war! Can you believe some people don’t like them? I was floored!
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Those people clearly don’t get it!
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Cheetos are OK, but JAX or soooo much better. (It’s an East Coast thing.)
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I’ve never had Jax, but if they are anything like Cheetos, I would love them.
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I like Cheetos, but the super crunchy ones, not the ones that look vaguely like they would be the texture of caterpillars.
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I like crunchy ones too. The caterpillar ones not so much.
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For me, it’s mostly the kids with the cheeto dust fingers, although that umbrellas out to Dorito fingers as well. I had to watch kids at a Halloween party once, and there were cheeto fingers EVERYWHERE. Don’t get me wrong, I love Cheetos, but cheeto fingers? NO.
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On other people, disgusting yes. But in my belly yes. I have a simple solution for the cheese dust. First, I make sure to not share by getting the smaller bags, and second, take out the middle man and pour them directly into the mouth instead of grabbing them out of the bag.
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Pouring?! So simple. So genius!
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I know right? Some people might think it isn’t proper or gentleman like, but since when have I ever claimed to be that?
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Lol, so funny. Cheetos are under-represented on the food pyramid. Clearly. They have so much more to offer than I ever realized. Then again, I don’t like bacon. I know, I know, there is something seriously wrong with me. I may need institutionalization.
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I think there should be a whole new food pyramid. And it should look like a pizza slice, and have Cheetos, Bagels, Hamburgers, and Ice Cream on it.
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Now you’re talking, with chocolate at the base. Milk chocolate. Not that healthy dark chocolate.
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Though Dark Chocolate is bitter. Not that I like bitter taste, just being bitter about things. And yeah, chocolate is a big part of that pyramid, or actually more of a round shape if we’re being honest here.
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First off, I personally love cheetos. I love the puffy kind the best though, not the crunchy. And I don’t like the red ones. And they go best with regular old coke and snickers bars. Damn it, now I’m hungry!! Thanks a lot for spoiling my diet!! ha ha
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Okay, so now we have a vote for Puffy kind. This discussion of Cheetos just keeps getting more interesting. I had no idea it would go this way. So no crunchy ones? That begs the question, do you like Crunchy or Creamy Peanut Butter? How about the Crunch Bar vs. Hershey Bar? Or is the the crunchy only an issue for Cheetos?
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Just got back from an American road trip… I will not lie. At every rest stop, I bought a bag of cheetos. Not a big bag, just one big enough to get me to the next “comfort break.” Now I look like I’m wearing fake tan that didn’t cost me a dime. And also like I’m wearing a swimming that used to be my waistline. More to love, right? 😀
I fail to see a downside to Cheetos.
xx cheesy, orange, bloated Mother Hen
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SWIM RING. SWIM RING…. sheesh.
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Always wait to go swim ring 30 minutes after Cheetos.
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Pahaha! 😀
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Water you talking about?
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Chalk another one up for Pro Cheetos side. Nothing wrong with being a little (or a lot) cheesy. And great for a road trip, when you need something not a candy bar or too sweet. And yeah, more of us to love right?
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They go perfectly with a diet Pepsi with its fake flavours or zero-calorie flavoured water drink full of fake vitamins. I figure if I’m going to go artificial, I might as well go all out. Plus – well, those calories. That extra 120 saved when I’m eating 650 dusty orange flavoured calories will make all the difference.
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They also go really well with Regular Pepsi, Regular Coke, Crystal Pepsi, New Coke, Old Coke, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Flavored Water, etc. And even that new drink Crystal Clear water.
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Point taken! In for a penny…in for a pound, eh?
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I’ve heard that saying before. Never figured out what it meant….
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Oh, I got on the scales this morning. I know, man. I KNOW…
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I usually try to avoid the scales like Bugs Bunny avoids Elmer Fudd.
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Cheetos are among the worst things God ever created…and then Chester came along. What an appropriate mascot for such a hideous, horrible product (we’ll abstain from calling it a food product). Pieces of dust…and dusted in a coloring material containing Heaven knows what but none of which is probably on the Table of Elements. But I do love me some real, all-American Cheese. Let’s make a distinction here. It’s an insult to Cheese everywhere to have Cheetos in the same sentence…darn, I just did that…
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Let me first make a distinction that I mean the crunchy kind and not the puffy kind. I think you and my dad agree. He also hates the kind of cheese I eat. I am what I like to call and open minded cheese eater. In that I eat all cheese.
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Now I have to go back and read all the other comments… I think I’m more offended by Marissa’s lack of liking bacon. Who doesn’t love bacon?
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Marissa does have a very sarcastic sense of humor, so I assume she is joking. Cause really no one doesn’t love bacon.
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Except Acerbic Aurora.
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Gaaasssp.
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Cheetos and Diet Coke was my personal breakfast of champions during graduate school. Okay….it wasn’t always Cheetos. Twinkies, Doritos – there wasn’t much I wouldn’t eat back in college. And yes, they did stain my fingers but the way I saw it, I was saving a little something for later.
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Cheetos just seem to go with everything. I like mine with a vintage Cherry Limeade, and blogging. And if I ever have get a graduate degree, I will depend on them even more.
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Every time I ate Cheetos right before an exam, I scored high on the test. People should do a study on their effectiveness.
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And the people that do the study should have Cheetos before they do, because it will make the study go so much better.
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It’s only the cheetos puffs that are completely and totally disgusting – they’re nothing but cheetos dust. Crunchy cheetos are the only cheetos that should exist. And their dust is easy to shake off.
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I guess I should have made that distinction. When I’m talking about Cheetos, I only mean the crunchy ones. The puffy ones are not even Cheetos in my mind.
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Cheetos – one of God’s greatest gifts.
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Finally someone who understands the value of the Cheetos.
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I just wanted to apologize for your sporatic reading numbers. I wrote in the stalls of your bathroom at work for people to not read the really great posts so that it would fuel your bitterness. You’re bitter welcome. (I’ve been a blog slacker so I apologize for missing out on any brilliant blog posts- my bad, again.) 😉
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It’s not the people at work that I’m worried about. In fact, I hope they don’t read them because I mostly write mean stuff about them. But I’m glad at least you have made your way back here. Now my stats have a 100% boost.
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Okay, I don’t like Cheetos and I never eat them, but you are wrong on all counts. Now you have something to make you even more bitter.
Chester Cheetah is a cool cat. The 80s were the best years! Now, I love cheese puffs and the left over dust is a reward to be savored. Come on, who doesn’t like to lick their fingers? Orange is a beautiful color. I have a room painted orange. Orange is important for safety cones and safety jackets. Cheese is delicious but truthfully I wouldn’t call that real cheese. Calories? Who thinks about calories when eating fake food? Beverages? I can’t think of anything that doesn’t taste good with wine. Now, I think you must understand the real reason Cheetos are gross. They are dense. They have no melt in your mouth quality. What is missing is the air. Cheese puffs are much better.
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Oh great, now I’m wrong about everything? I just can’t seem to get it right these days. First, I’m wrong about the Cheetos, now I’m wrong about all the reasons. Jeepers, I need to go back to school and learn something.
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I just wanted you to have a reason to be a truly bitter blogger
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Thank you so much for that. Having all those things to be bitter about has made my job so much easier today.
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Now, I must tell you I found your post and our subsequent dialog quite enjoyable. You have definitely made my day easier!
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Sometimes the commenting is the funniest part of the post. It sure was educational, that is for sure.
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Mmmmm…breakfast of champions. Did I tell you that I don’t like Cheetos either? The reason is because I’m an alien who’s arch enemy from the planet Gurton looks exactly like a Cheeto. Oh, an I don’t like bacon either.
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Is your arch enemy Gurton made of gluton perhaps? That may be the reason why you don’t like him. You don’t happen to be the Alien that is currently mixing up the earth to make it your meal are you?
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Mmmmm…earth….yum…..
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I have to admit, alien person, that while the Salt Lake adds a little flavor and the oceans can quench your thirst, the dirt is extra dry. Hope you don’t mind that too much.
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Well, I am just learning the bitterness of your planet so I’m afraid I mind that very much!!
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Well there is definitely a bitter taste in the WAshington Seattle area, so if you like sweet better avoid this place.
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Probably all that coffee. I’ll stick to the Sunnyslope.
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Actually because I inhabit this corner of the state.
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For me, it’s Chester. What a horrible…thing.
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Sadly, I do all the same things as the Cheetah. So people should start calling me a Cheeter.
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