The nature of the news business is fast, quick, breaking and then stuck in the scrap heap. You might be at the top of the news at 6 am, but by the 7 am news, nooobody really cares about you, or remembers who you are. This might be why I just don’t care about the news. Or it could be that politics bore me, traffic and the weather are just as easily figured out by going outside and feeling the air, or looking at how many stupid cars are in front of you. Other than that, it just a bunch of murders, robbings, financial crises, and politicians saying they will do something, then hoping we forget 3 days later(which 98% of us will unless it directly affects us). The Bitter Entertainment Network (B.E.N.) has no such illusions. In fact, we don’t even call this news. We call it old. We take a couple of minutes to find a story, regardless of how old it is and tell you what makes us bitter about it. Cause making videos takes time and I don’t have enough editors to bring it out as fast as a tweet. Besides, this talking head is delivering this stuff from the couch, as unenthusiastically as possible. And if I can’t find this on internet, I’m not delivering it. So without further ado, Ben’s Bitter Blog presents…Bitter News from the Couch.
Very funny, Ben.
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It was sure fun to make, because I never had to leave the couch.
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Ha!!!! Hahahahahahahah love it!!!
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It was pretty fun to make. Now if I could only hire good actors do it, it would be a YouTube sensation.
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you’re the perfect star
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I just wish I had some people I could collab with. I’m good at coming up with the stories, but this face and voice aren’t made for a camera.
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I think you’re great on camera!
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Well, I sure don’t like myself on camera, but I love doing the news, so until I get a crew, I’m the on air talent.
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How fun is this? Thanks.
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So you enjoy the bitter news?
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ahhh yes
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I love your impressively bitter style! I did notice an absence of any Nerf swords or bows in the young enthusiast’s collection. The dangerous world of Nerf simply is not complete without those weapons of nap disruption!
On a more serious note…Thanks for taking the time to check out my new blog, comicallyquirky.com. It was a huge boost of confidence for me, and it brought me to your blog. With your bitterness and my sarcastic wit, I think we could get along very well.
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We have a couple of bows but I didn’t want to include them. He and the Nerf guns are the ultimate killers of the perfect nap.
On a serious note, I was glad to read yours. I remember starting out, who so very few people read mine and I appreciated the first few so much for making me feel like it was worth it to keep writing. Though I would have gone on for a while, the readers definitely fuel me even more. I definitely like the sarcastic and witty people the best so keep them coming and I do my best to read them!
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You should get the swords, too. They’re fun for battles…oh, but they can leave welts. I’m not convinced they truly have foam cores, come to think of it..
Thanks so much for your support!
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I actually want to get a real sword. I’ve always loved the one on one sword battles that gun fights can’t quite replicate. I love doing sword fights with little Nerfy boy.
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Awesome. AND I will totally watch that video–when it isn’t a potential Wake-the-Kid-Up-from-His-Nap noisemaker. Naps. Precious, precious naps …
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You don’t have to tell me about the precious nature of naps. For kids and for adults…
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Exactly!
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Bittersweet Symphony…the perfect touch. 😀
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Ha, you caught that. One of my favorite songs with Bitter in the title. There needs to be more that are actually bitter without the sweet though.
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LMAO!
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Thanks, though I hope you find it! Your A that you laughed off.
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I always know where my ass is 😉
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Thanks goodness. Even when it gets laughed off.
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I really don’t like the way you refused to show the scene of you firing me at the beginning of the episode or how you make no mention of the fact that if you had not fired me the teleprompter would have been in a much better position so you wouldn’t have kept stopping and looking down. I am filing for unemployment, I’ll have you know.
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Do you see why I had to fire you? You were putting the teleprompter in the wrong place so I had to memorize all the crap and just cut it all together. At least I figured out to disguise some of it so you didn’t look completely incompetent.
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Well, I have news for you…I did that on purpose…so there!!
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And I fired you on purpose.
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How dare you!
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I did dare. I looked it right in the face.
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Bahaha haha! I LOVE THE DEADPAN DELIVERY! BRAVO!
Killer Nerf gun collection, Nerfie Boy!
About that pay cut to 1.5 mil… Sheesh, how will that poor man ever feed his family? He must be quite bitter about being so dirt poor. And he puts his life on the line and busts his butt to earn that money too. There is just no justice in this world…
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I’m glad someone figured out the deadpan was on purpose and totally not my real way of speaking.
Yeah, I got on Nerfie boy all the time for his collection that I want to eliminate.
And yeah, I just couldn’t feel bad for Mr. Smith for his making ends meet abilities when he’s made over $100 mill in his career. Put away some in savings for your house payment. Or you, know sell your house and get a smaller one. Just don’t complain to us.
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Do you mean to tell me that people legit thought that’s how you speak all the time? Oy!
Well, I thought the video was all around hilarious, and Nerfie Boy is adorable.
Smith is an idiot.
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Well, thanks. I hope to do more someday. If I had more time, I would do them all the time.
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You ought to if you can! It was very enjoyable!
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I’m just thinking of ideas for the next one.
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I’m sure you’ve got plenty of material 😉
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Yep, it just more about narrowing it down.
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Yeah I get it!
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I brainstormed an idea for one story last night. Hopefully another soon!
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Oh goody!
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I like the enthusiasm!
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I truly did get a good giggle outta your first video so I can honestly say I’m looking forward to the next one! 😘
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Well, if just one person wants them to continue, I’ll keep doing them. Actually I’d still do them even if people don’t because I really liked doing it.
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Good on ya, mate! 😘
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Who needs CNN or Fox News when you’ve got this? It’s bitterly fair and balanced. As for the cache of Nerf guns, having two teen sons I once knew it well. Very well.
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Who needs the news at all? I prefer mine out of date and not really news.
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I would think avoiding the news would make you less bitter, not more. Must be all those Kardashian updates in the not-really-news…
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Not really. I have plenty of things to be bitter about without the news. I actually like to know just enough about things to have an opinion, but not near enough to be able to speak intelligently about it. Stuff like Bengazi and the Ice Bucket Challenge.
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