Ladies and Bitterman, idiots and tools, welcome to the Bitter Circus! I am the Bitter Circus Ringmaster, Bitter Ben. I have Gifs that will amaze and astound you and will make you wonder why the heck you decided to come to this circus! I know many of you came here for a show and I promise I will do everything in my power to disappoint you! There will lions, and tigers and barely anything else. I promise there will be clowns because no one is amused by them and most people are freaked the heck out by them. There will be fails and falls and spills and idiots galore. There will be something for everyone..to be disappointed by. So sit back, go to sleep and read another interesting blog, because I present you with: The Bitterest Giftures of the Week!
If you turn your attention over here we have…
And over here you’ll see…
And over here in the fruit aisle…
And over here in animal section…
And hold on to your purses and pins…
And for the kids who can’t stop playing their hand held video games…
We’ve got…
And we’ve got…
And over here…
And over in the water…
We’ve got…
And we’ve got…
And for our grand finale…
If you’ve enjoyed this preview of the Bitter Circus, plunk down your money on the Pay Pal and come on over and make me rich! If not, may horrible things happen to you this weekend, like being woken up at 10:30 am by a stupid neighbor mowing their lawn or having to go grocery shopping, or heaven forbid having to leave your house. And may your Circus at home be much worse than the Bitter Circus right here.
ARRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter Circusular Saw Ben
I don’t wonder why I came–you have amazing GIFs!
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It was hard for me to film all these gifs. I must have taken me all night to get all these people together in one place!
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Oh my gosh. That “live” video game is cracking me right the heck up! 😀
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My son is a “live” one too. All I would have to do is strap up a controller and he would do all the actions.
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I think the ferociousness of an irritated rabbit is under appreciated, and our pet rabbit agrees.
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I think just watching Monty Python shows us all we need to know about the ferociousness of rabbits, irritated or otherwise.
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I’m disappointed you didn’t employ the Holy Hand Grenatde of Antioch on that wicked wabbit.
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I think it was related to those bunnies in Monty Python.
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now that’s a rotten banana.
wth about that old man doing front handsprings? i can’t sit in a freaking chair without pain, much less bust a move, and that fat old man is going all greg louganis in the yard? what’s up with that?
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He went bad way before he expiration date. I’m pretty bitter about the dude that could do handsprings when I can barely do sommersaults.
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I hope that dude countered with a stink bomb catapult.
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I think the stinkbomb catapault would be the proper countermove. If I knew what that was.
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That guy doing the back flip……….He makes me feel bad about not being able to do any sort of acrobatics. No cartwheels – CERTAINLY no back flips. I occasionally attempt a headstand. (Not handstand….)
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I could barely do a sommersault and if I did I would probably be close to breaking my neck.
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Darn videos won’t play for me! Now I’m as bitter as YOU!
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Probably not, but I’d be pretty bitter too.
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Oops…I meant I was laughing in my office…that’s what I get for talking on the phone and typing at the same time, LOL…
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I hate when my phone interupts when I am trying to type something.
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Hahaha I loved this!
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Not as much as I love your way better and way wittier posts and gifs.
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Hahaha such a generous compliment, but I disagree!
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I just realized last night that really I am just stealing the format of Buzzfeed. Maybe I should submit my resume to them.
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HEY, BEN! How’s it goin’? LOVE the video of the tiger. Now, why didn’t I think of that when my apartment in college kept getting robbed. Getting a pet tiger would’ve solved all my problems! And the one of the bear playing tether ball is priceless! Have you ever seen Ridiculousness? It’s one of my husband’s favorite reality shows, and I think you and Rob Dyrdeck, who hosts the show, must surf YouTube using the same phrases or something cuz he’s got a lot of videos of spills and stupid people behaving stupidly as well…
ANYWHO…I think you’ve had a bad influence on me, Ben, cuz my latest post comes dangerously close to sounding bitter…I don’t know if you’ve ever read any of my stories about Nana Maude, my Grandmother who decided to tell me that she never approved of my Mom marrying my Dad when my mother was dying of cancer not 3 feet away (and Mom died right before her and Dad’s 49th wedding anniversary)…but this week’s post is about an incident where I couldn’t help but point out the error of my Grandmother’s misconceptions. Feel free to check it out at:
http://tenaciousbitch.com/2014/07/30/post-140-no-i-dont-drink-wine-i-drink-merlot-and-whats-that-in-your-hand-nana/
Cuz if you don’t, I’ll be the one calling to wake you up at the butt crack of not 10:30 A.M….more like NINE A.M. tomorrow, LOL…
Ciao!
TB
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That tiger and bear and other animals performed well in my Bitter Circus. I could have definitely used them on some of my customers in being a little more polite.
I am glad that I have finally started rubbing off on you and getting you to explore your bitter side. Your Grandma MAude sounds like just the person I should be interviewing for my blog. Where did she get her motivation for bitterness? How did she find it within herself to hate a woman for so long that had cancer and how did she do it right in front of her? It sounds like a masterpiece of bitterness.
By the way, there’s no way you are waking me up before 10:30 am because you don’t wake up before 11 remember?
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Actually Nana loved my mother (who was her oldest daughter) and my father. She just didn’t want Mom to marry Dad way back in 1957 when they got engaged because Mom quit medical school when she got married and became a teacher instead. And Nana is just completely thoughtless and says whatever comes into her obnoxious brain. Mom was in a coma when Nana made that comment about not approving of my Dad, who, btw, was a saint, who took care of the sour old broad (Nana) for two years before he also died of cancer. Then, I got saddled with her for 2 years before putting her in a nursing home last June, which was the HAPPIEST day of my life, and it’s 1,000 miles away as well because she hated Ohio after living in Georgia for 52 years, which is where she’s living once again in the Hilton of nursing homes, which is something akin to a concentration camp according to Nana who was spoiled rotten by everyone, including my parents who were too nice not to give in to her every whim. However, life was very different for Queen Maude when she moved in with me, LOL. I didn’t put up with her crap, and when she complained about what we watched on TV, I’d switch it to a marathon of zombie movies and leave the room, and she didn’t know how to work our “overly fancy” (her words) big screened TV! 🙂 And you’d hear her over the baby monitors I had stashed about the house, so I could hear her if she fell or something – and she’d be hollerin my name, begging me to change the channel while I laughed upstairs in my house where she couldn’t get to me…yeah, I was a bit of a BITCH sometimes…
And, oh, yeah, you’re right…I don’t normally get up until 11:00 OHIO TIME (EST), which is 8 a.m. your time (PST)! 🙂 🙂
Have a great weekend, BITTER BEN! Be chatting with you in the morning, you and your bitter bears!
TB
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Well, all I know is bitter Nana would make a fascinating interview on the blog. I’m also a fan of you hiding up in the upstairs and using baby monitors to spy/make sure she isn’t falling. I would probably do the same thing and also leave the TV on things that she couldn’t stand. Are you sure you’re not bitter?
I will be up by then already anyways. I have kids.
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NOT bitter…I just enjoyed annoying my Grandmother, and she definitely HATED zombie movies! That’s why I would put it on a zombie marathon and goes upstairs…guess that wasn’t obvious by my previous statement. Most people in their 90s aren’t big fans of horror movies! 🙂
TB
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Annoying people is also a hobby of mine. But I get bitter when the annoying doesn’t quite go as planned. I go to all that work and somehow they don’t get as annoyed as I had hoped.
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With a large great Dane, two shades of hair dye, and the right prosthesis, you can have a tiger that will obey simple commands, like “HUNT!” and “KILL!” What a jolly time you could have with unwanted visitors!
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They would have fun not being in my Bitter Zoo.
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How true! Too funny! 🙂
~TB
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loved the live video games gif 😆
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I wish there was a controller that made my kids do their chores and go to bed and to sleep when my controller said to.
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and many thanks for being the bitter ringmaster of all of this
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It’s a hard job to do, but someone has to manage all this bitterness. Now, I’m tired and need to go take a nap.
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A fat flipper? Sounds like a story with a porpoise.
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As long as he isn’t flippering people off.
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He’d certainly be a whale of a porpoise though. 🙂
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You don’t have to be so sharky.
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Better than being a shrimp. 🙂
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Water you talking about? That is a really carpy thing to say!
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Bahaha, the wrestling one is so fucking stupid! haha
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It’s almost like they had choreographed it or practiced it or something. It was so incredible how it just all came together.
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Yeah, they must have. But why? haha, nothing really happened there.
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Except for some super sterioded dudes doing gymnastics.
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Fair enough, if that’s what folks consider entertainment! 😉
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I guess I’m not from the south enough to find wrestling entertaining.
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NASCAR and hospitality are the only semi-good things the south has to offer.
p.s. I’m Australian, so sorry if I’ve offended your nation. haha 🙂
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You may have offended someone, but it wasn’t me.
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