Bananas Bitter Friday Giftures

Remember when I talked about us living in a simulation a little while ago? Probably not, because you don’t really think about my posts after you read them. Living in a simulation doesn’t really make sense right? But then you watched the Matrix and you started to believe.

One of the ways the Matrix taught us that we were in the simulation was Deja Vu, or seeing almost absurd things happening. That happens now on an almost daily basis. People are getting famous from posting on Tik Tok, Chris Pratt is doing a Mario movie, and people watch other people play video games. If those things aren’t evidence that we live in Bizzaro simulation, I don’t know what is.

The most recent example for me that we are living in a simulation, is that a random thing keeps popping up over and over again this week. Bananas. It all started off last weekend when our Smith’s Grocery store kept playing this stupid commercial about the freshness of their bananas and kept playing the song by Gwen Stefani about how she spells bananas.

Then amazingly, we had some bananas at our house that went bad (shocker). (Speaking of which, one of my co-workers had no idea that banana bread was made out of rotted bananas). We implored my wife to make banana bread with chocolate chips that our neighbors made for us that we really liked. So she did, but she made too many, so I offered to take them to work to get rid of them.

But then my co-workers really like them, which made them pay attention to me, which I didn’t really like, because I like being ignored so I can get work done. But then they started asking me to tell my wife to make more. And that they were so good, she should start a store to make them and sell them.

In order to get my co-workers off my back, I had to tell them that there is a banana shortage, and that they aren’t even available anymore at stores for at least a year. (You know, because the monkeys are hoarding them). And then Donkey Kong came up, which is a video game where a big ape whose whole goal in life is to grow his hoard of bananas.

And then to top it all off, the little symbol in the corner of my screen that is showing the weather, is showing a moon that is shaped like, you guessed it, a banana.

And you wonder why I think this world is a little bananas.

I just can’t handle thinking about bananas anymore, so I thought if I blogged about it, they would just go away forever, and the simulation make next week’s theme money. In case you want to kickstart the money theme for me, here is my Venmo @ben-gardner-18, so you can support more Bitter Friday Gifture Content like this. Let’s just do this shall we…

Katy Perry learned how to spell stuff…

PureWow katy perry gwen stefani bananas spelling GIF
…from Gwen Stefani.

Some people seem to like bananas…

use case GIF
…more than others.

Apparently…

Banana Potassium GIF
…it has potassium in it too.

Which I guess…

chemical reaction potassium GIF
…is good for this.

Donkey Kong is why…

1jps gaming 90s snes dk GIF
…there is a banana shortage.

And the minions like them so much…

Banana GIF
…it’s one of the few English words they know.

Some people like them…

Black And White Wtf GIF
…because it makes their hair more luxurious.

Others use them to describe…

Season 3 Nbc GIF by The Office
…their day at The Office.

Others like me…

cat photo GIF
…are quite afraid of them.

Did you know…

Banana Bread Cbc GIF by Kim's Convenience
…that you use rotten bananas to make banana bread?

Also that bananas don’t grow on trees…

Banana Thief GIF
…but come from the ground?

Last but not least…

arrested development banana stand GIF
…remember that there is always money in the banana stand.

I’m sure there are other banana themed things that you’ve been thinking of, or possibly banana puns that you probably have. There are no shortage of those things, unlike the banana shortage that is happening in our world. So unfortunately, we can’t start our banana chocolate chip stand yet, but as soon as Donkey Kong stops hoarding them, my wife will start her stand…and there will be money there. Until then, don’t forget…Venmo @ben-gardner-18 is open for business.

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Banana Ben

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