DeepFake Bitter Friday Giftures

The reason I know that I was meant to live in this period of history, is because this is the best time period to be lazy. Imagine me trying to get away with being lazy in Jurassic Park era. As soon as I decided that I wanted to hang out in the cave, I would be eaten. Or I would try to run, and I would get eaten. Or I would stay in the cave too long and had no food.

Or imagine me in the early 1900’s. My dad would have been trying to build us a home and till the land while I was inside trying to stare at a box, wondering why it wasn’t playing me some story of Avengers or something. I wouldn’t have survived.

Nowadays, you can be whoever you want to be. You can be lazy like me, you can be a robot while inside of Virtual Reality, or with this new development called DeepFakes, you can even be Tom Cruise. Have you seen this video on Tik Tok?

While I think this is a huge leap forward for being someone else, I think it hasn’t gone far enough. When can I have a DeepFake personality? When can I act like I’m sitting on my couch, but look like I’m typing something on my computer that looks like I’m working? It would also be great if I could fake look like I’m a CEO of a company, while also collecting their paycheck. Or fake being a great basketball player, while also collecting their check. So whoever is in charge of DeepFake personalities, please call me, because I have some ideas for you.

While we are all waiting patiently on the couch for that to happen, let’s enjoy this week’s Bitter Friday Giftures…

We should start with the easy stuff…

laugh laughing GIF by funk
…like faking that we are interested.

Then we could start making me look…

attracted brooklyn 99 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
…a lot more attactive.

It would also help…

whose line is it anyway flirting GIF
…if I was able to have persuasive powers.

It would also help…

seal brains GIF
…if it looked like I was really smart.

It would also help...

wizard of oz scarecrow GIF
…if people thought I was good at participating at meetings.

It would also be great…

GetLicensedDrivingSchool driving automatic driving school driving lessons GIF
…if it looked like I was paying attention while driving.

I mean the technology in cars…

car wtf GIF by aaf.nyc
…has taken quite a leap forward.

This would have helped me growing up…

house party dancing GIF by Bounce
…if it looked like I was doing this…

When I was really…

tired music video GIF by David Archuleta
…just doing this.

It would also be nice…

fun kitten GIF
…if looked like my cat was doing this when I didn’t let it go out.

It would also be really nice if it looked like…

happy dance GIF by Dan Harnden
...I was getting along with my siblings…

When I was really doing this…

big brother pop GIF by Big Brother After Dark
…behind the scenes.

What we do know is this. We can be whoever we want to be. Some people will be all noble and want to be a better version of themselves. But who wants to be a better version of themselves, when they could just be a better person? Or in my case, a more bitter person?

ARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter DeepFake Ben

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