Walking Billboard Bitter Friday Giftures

This morning when I was getting ready, I noticed something. I put on a Nike shirt, a Nike sweatshirt, some Nike shoes and some Gap jeans. I’ve liked Nike products ever since I was young, and the jeans, well I just like how they fit. I’m not sure that I like Nike for any particular reason, other than maybe when I was young they were the kind of hip brand to wear. I don’t really think they are made any better than any other clothes or shoes, but somehow I’ve been loyal to them since I was young. And their ads are top notch, which I’ve always been a fan of.

The crazy thing about me wearing all these clothes with the brand names, is that I’m actually an active advertiser for them now. If someone likes my clothes and they ask what brand they are, then I tell them Nike and those people might just go buy something Nike because of it. Or someone could just look at my clothes and see the little swoosh and just be reminded over and over again of Nike and subliminally want to buy more. Whether we like it or not, we are advertisements for companies even when don’t think we are.

You might not wear brand names, but you use them every day and you are helping them. Doesn’t that make you bitter? Even now, you are reading this blog and somehow bitterness has entered your mind. While making me no money, I am hypnotizing you into thinking about bitterness on a weekly basis. And somewhere down the line, I WILL find a way to hypnotize you into buying my bitter products. Embrace the bitterness. And more importantly embrace these Bitter Friday Giftures…

Have you noticed how much of a loop…

macaulay culkin GIF
…this is getting to?

When we wear the merchandise…

Hard Rock Stadium Miami GIF by University of Florida
…the billboards become mobile.

We think of advertising…

advertising working GIF by Andrey Smirny
as something on our computers…

Or…

As Seen On Tv Images GIF by getflexseal
…or something we see on television.

Or something we hear…

radio GIF by hoppip
…on the radio.

Or even…

who here is on social GIF by Transparent
…on social media.

Sometimes you even see ads…

ad ship it GIF
…delivering your packages.

The Youtubers are constantly…

friends drop it GIF by Girlys Blog
…pointing you down to the bottom of the screen.

The Instagrammers…

Imacelebrityau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Australia
…are sponsoring logs…

And Tik Tokers…

Bad Boy Deal With It GIF by TikTok
…are even pimping their stuff.

There is no age…

corvette deal with it GIF
…where ads seem off limits these days.

And everyone is well…

im a big deal GIF
…kind of a big deal.

So, if you liked this ad, uh, blog, then I encourage you to share it with your friends and family and aquaintances and strangers. And don’t forget to tell them that Bensbitterblog.merchandise.com is offering a 10% off all blog characters when you use the coupon code SUCKER at checkout.

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Walking Billboard Ben

9 thoughts on “Walking Billboard Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. I grew up in a sorted of dated way, one could say, so to me ‘Nike’ is an anti-missile missile (or missile interceptor…)

    BUT.. being bitter can drive one to drink. Many drinks use… bitters.
    “Ben’s Bitters” seems like it might be a “marketing opportunity.”
    Of course, that could be work, and you’d be bitter about that…

    Like

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