Unnecessary Jobs

/ bensbitterblog

 

Quick, activate good husband mode! 

Several years ago, I was up late playing my favorite video game, and my wife was trying to sleep. She woke suddenly and complained about really painful heartburn. Usually, she takes a Tums and feels better afterward. But for some reason, that wasn’t working, and she was complaining about intense pain that wasn’t going away. I begrudging turned on good husband mode and paused the game for a second. I went into the bathroom and asked her if she was alright. Do you need to go to the emergency room?

She was like YES, I can’t take this anymore. So against all my safe driving instincts, I drove her to the hospital as if she was having a baby, which we came to find out wasn’t, but pretty close to it. It was her gall bladder and she needed to get surgery to remove it.

For some reason, humans have these body parts they don’t actually need to survive. Actually, we have quite a few. There are the truly unnecessary ones like the gall bladder, the appendix, and tonsils. Then there are other things that while inconvenient, you can live without too. Things like fingers, arms, legs, and hair(I know all too well about this one). Somethings you just can’t live without like brain, heart, (lungs maybe?) and a few other vital ones.

Society is the same way. There are some jobs that are so vital that if we didn’t have them society just wouldn’t survive. Doctors keep us alive longer. The presence of police officers keeps societies from complete anarchy. Some government is important for defense and economy. Teachers educate us so we can learn enough to get jobs and such.

The other day I had to fax something to the state, and since we don’t have a fax machine in our house, we went to our local Workforce services to do so. What I found was an almost comical situation which made me think we could eliminate some government spending.

I’m just looking, thanks.

As soon as I walked into the center, I was greeted by a gentleman that asked me what I could help them with. You know, much like an employee at a clothes store. Not 100% necessary, but if I had a more difficult question, he could probably at least find me an answer or someone else that could help me.

The comical part was when I told him what I needed to do. “I just need to fax something to the state.” About two feet away from me was not one but two fax machines that I could use to fax the papers. As a fairly educated person and with 15 years or more of experience using such complicated machines as faxes, I could almost certainly figure out how to fax things on my own.

That wasn’t needed though, because both fax machines were manned by adult male people, who I assume had their job to help do. Since I had two documents going to two different fax numbers, I had two competent fax-sending-trained dudes help me fax two documents.

Two people fighting over the chance to fax something for me. 

I often wonder how people in finance and computer, and marketing and middle management can get laid off for only doing 18 hours of work in an 8 hour period, but somehow two guys whose government jobs are to help people fax things stay comfortably employed with our tax dollars.

Clearly, life doesn’t make any sense.

What are some jobs you have seen that seem amazingly unnecessary? What are some body parts you could probably do without?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Unnecessary Ben

 

Target Deal of the Day: Beach Babe Comforter Set. Talk about unnecessary things. Comforters on top of blankets on top of sheets. But if you must have these comforters that keep you warm at night and fashionable during the day, might as well get them on sale at Target. They are 20% off for only $79.99, regularly $99.99. Stay unnecessarily warm tonight!

 

23 thoughts on “Unnecessary Jobs”

  1. Testicles, what a waste of an organ. Post puberty you drain all the contents whereever and whenever you get the chance, if you get lucky that wherever is the vagina. Then it’s other popular job is to reproduce, what?; don’t ask another bitter one on the planet that eats through all the resources that mother nature has to offer and they later become a inherit to your savings/ fortune if you are left with any. The testicles tops my list of organs that were really a waste of time in creation. With advancements in medical and engineering technology I think we could have the perfect being manufactured to do those jobs that you sight as unecessary and they can be programmed to do all those jobs we call chores around the house including pairing colored socks!

    Like

    Reply

  2. Fascinating. I belong to the generation who does not know how to fax because I have never had to do it, and yet I am shocked that there are assistants who help you fax things! It’s like those people who bag things for you in shops – we don’t have them in the UK but I have seen them in other countries. And some countries also have people who fill up your petrol tank at the petrol station, while you stay in the car! On the one hand, these are jobs for people who clearly need them, but on the other – as you say, they are government jobs and so paid by your tax dollars, which could very well be spent elsewhere!

    Like

    Reply

    • Yep. In fact, the very job of filling gas tanks was talked about by another comment. They were saying that in Oregon, it is law that they must have an attendant fill your gas tank. So essentially they created jobs for people to do so.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  3. Hmm…how about the lifeguard at the swimming pool at the Olympics?
    Restroom attendant? Elevator attendant? Mall Santa Claus in Bethlehem?
    Weather person in places where the weather is perpetually sunny? Pet Psychiatrist?
    Wait…my dog just told me that last one is necessary!

    I am living without my appendix. I can’t think of any other body parts I could do without. I even wanna’ keep my snack-size brain!
    HUGS!!! 😀

    Like

    Reply

  4. Body parts trivia: the appendix maintains helpful bacteria for digestion while the body is fighting off infection with antibodies or medication. Not essential and we can live without it, but it does serve a purpose. Very much like having built-in Probiotics. J.

    Like

    Reply

  5. Is that guy whose job it is to sweep the ice in front of the thing-ma-bob in curling really necessary? Is curling even necessary? I’m looking for work. I think I will take a course in faxing and apply with the state.

    Like

    Reply

  6. There are so many of these!

    My job is pretty unnecessary tbh. I am a student advisor, so I register students into courses, check their requirements to make sure they’ll graduate (that kind of thing) BUT, that means about 40% of my job is tell students things that area already written on various websites. If students (and applicants to universities) could read websites, about half the people in my office would be made redundant. As it is, I am happy for their (often dappy) questions…

    Like

    Reply

  7. Oregon actually pays people to put gas in the car for you. In fact, you can get fined if you do it yourself (or get yelled at very sternly if you try). All so they can have higher employment.

    Like

    Reply

  8. I don’t believe I have ever had an unnecessary job, but I did work for the local government. I was a legal secretary in the Judges Chambers. My boss was a bloody homicide waiting to happen, because he was the biggest jerk/penis/hypocrite I had never met the likes of. He once drew me a map so I would know how to WATER THE PLANTS IN HIS OFFICE. Not kidding. Anyway, he told me my “back porch had a nice swing to it,” that he could use my broken down Chevette “any time he damn pleased.” And the icing on the cupcake of that experience? He told me he hired me for my looks.

    Like

    Reply

Your Bitter Comments

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.