My favorite basketball player, David Robinson had a Hall of Fame career with the San Antonio Spurs. He made a ton of money in his career, but when he retired he was only 38 years old. Obviously, when you are 38 you still have a lot of life left to live. He did some amazing things with his money, like build a school for underpriveleged kids in San Antonio. He was also dedicated to the Spurs enough to buy about a 5% ownership stake in the team.

Over the years, I’ve purchased a lot of Spurs gear. I once bought a leather jacket, I’ve bought multiple shirts, shoes, and DVD’s of their championship seasons. When I was younger, I cared way more about if they would win or lose to the point that I would throw things if they made a bone headed play or lost a crucial game. People would ask why I got so invested. It’s just a game. I would reply, “I’m a part owner of the team.” They would be like, “No, you aren’t. ”

I would be like, “Yeah, I am. I pay those guys salaries with the T-shirts I bought, the tickets I purchased, the DVD’s I bought, all that. If it wasn’t for all the money I’ve invested in the team, they couldn’t get paid the millions they get. I’m a part owner of the team.”

If you ask my mom what I ate as a kid, she would unequivocally answer one thing. Peanut Butter Sammiches. I pretty much didn’t eat anything else until I discovered pizza. From that time on, that was what I ate the most. I guess you could consider me a part owner of Jif and Skippy.

For the last 15 years, my go-to lunch on Friday has been pizza. I’ve frequented a few different places, but my favorite is Pizza Hut. I would estimate that I’ve spent in the billions of dollars in pizza cost, delivery, tips, lost work time, and box throwing away. If I’m not at least a 50% owner in Pizza Hut, then something is wrong. I’m expecting my bonus check in the mail soon.

When I was in junior high, I was on the track team. My mom got me these really crappy white shoes and my feet were hurting. I finally told her that I couldn’t do track until I got some decent shoes. She finally relented and got me the coolest Nike’s the school had ever seen. For like 2 days, everyone was envious of my Nike Air’s. It didn’t last, but from then on, I’ve never had a pair of athletic shoes that has been anything but Nike’s. We’re going on 30+ years of me being a part Nike owner. My email from Phil Knight to visit the facility and sign a million dollar a year contract must be in junk mail file somewhere. I will look there later.

Anyways, what about you guys? What companies are you part owner’s in? What places should you have gotten your invite to the company meeting for?

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Company Owner Ben