Uhh. me.
Ever since I was pretty young, I’ve been a really small circle of bitter friends kind of guy. As previously noted on this blog, I’m a claustraphobic and I probably didn’t mention, I have social anxiety too. You probably don’t have to be Einstein to figure that out. Basically parties are my worst nightmare. They have many people and if you don’t talk at them, you are considered a pariah.
I’ve always been fine with being a pariah. A bitter person’s favorite thing. The problem is that the universe or whoever is in charge of punishing introverts, gave me a son. A son who is an extravert. He always wants to be around people. As soon as he started talking, he never stopped talking. He would be at parks and find new friends. Stores and he would find new friends. He even finds them at weird places like school. He will hop on Xbox and has more friends on there than I’ve probably had in my entire 45 years. It is a little unsettling.
When we first moved here, he found a new friend at church the first day. Then at his first day of school, same. When finally got our house 20 minutes away, and we move into a neighborhood that has all kinds of kids, but super young ones. He is struggling to find a friend. And it is driving us crazy. He always want to spend time with ME now. I’m like, all I want to do is lay here on my couch once I get home and never get up from it. The kid needs to find a new friend.
Need a friend please.
Then, an awesome idea came to me. Probably would never work, but how about an app like Tinder, except just for kids to find a friends. You could match certain interests and age groups, area (not farther than a few blocks) and you could find this kid a friend. Unfortunately, the creepers will always find a way to ruin something like that, but in a perfect world, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to match up your kids with their ideal friends and find friends that I could actually tolerate? Anyways, I know it is a pipe dream, but no one ever thought online dating would work to find love either.
I just need my kid to find his bro so I can get my bro time at home.
What do you think? Should we invent Friend Finder?
ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH
Bitter Couch Time Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
20mins away isn’t that far to catch up with his friends on weekends.
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It is when we have to drive him all the time and he used to be able to walk to them.
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But that isn’t his fault now is it. As a parent you have to make sacrifices. You moved out of town if you want him to remain socially active you have to become a taxi driver lol. I am sure that can keep you bitter
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I just try to teach my kids to sacrifice, so while they are sacrificing, I don’t have to do as much.
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you don’t get off that easy. Spoken as a father who endured many years of entertaining my kids and missing bro time
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I’ve done my fair share. Even when he had friends all the time, he still made me go out for a late night sessions of cash.
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Would you call it Kinder?
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Yeah, probably, but I think even that would raise some eyebrows. I need to think of a better idea.
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Kidswipe? Thisisawholesomeservicetofindmykidafriend?
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That second one sounds much better. So at least people that are too lazy won’t try to figure out the phrasing.
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The best sources of friends are probably still family (cousins!), church, sports, Orgs like Scouts, school, and even the playground. There is already something in common to start with and a community behind these that will hopefully watch your six. Best of luck to you!
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His cousins are all too old and church hasn’t panned out. The school isn’t an option, because it is over. We are trying scouts. We’ll see how that pans out.
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No way. If Friend Finder worked anything like my experience with online dating, then the perfect new best friend they get matched with will just find another best friend they like even better, and my kid will end up friendless again and worse, heartbroken. Who needs an app for that?
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I do, because he keeps wanting to hang out with his friends that are 30 minutes away and it isn’t working organically. All the kids around our new place are 4 and 5, and my son is 10.
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Organic is for veggies. I’d just drive the 30 minutes, at least until he starts school and meets more kids his own age.
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But then we have to plan our whole day around him, driving him there, taking all that gas, waiting for him to be done, etc. It is better for him to find new friends.
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Well, maybe that won’t be too hard for him, since he’s a friend-magnet. 🙂
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He’s definitely a friend-magnet. I, on the other hand, am a friend repellent.
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Same. Apparently. 😐
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I think we found a solution for him. He is in football practice now, so he will be tired out more and find more friends there.
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In adulthood it’s so hard to make friends. There may be similar apps or sites out there already, but if not, a service like that would be so useful. So many people move or relocate all the time and struggle to make connections!
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I’m not worried about me. I don’t need friends. All I need is a couch and TV, but I need it for my son, so he can quit bugging me all the time.
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