We have…
One of my favorite movies of all time is Scott Pilgrim. If you don’t know it, that’s okay. I kind of like to keep it to myself. Anyways, one of the parts that is funniest to me is when Scott goes to this new girl’s house and she asks him if he wants tea. He says, what kind do you have, and she lists like 20 different kinds of tea.
I don’t drink tea, so it is absolutely ridiculous that there are that many kinds. Of course, that applies to all kinds of food. Just off the top of my head there are like 15 types of Pringles and the amount of cheese varieties are off the charts. Has anyone ever been to Cheescake Factory? They have like 800 menu items.
As awesome as some people think variety is cool, it kind of isn’t. They say variety is the spice of life, but I don’t really like spices that much. A little salt and pepper here and there is nice, but I’m kind of an eat the same thing a lot. I know it isn’t always new and exciting, but every once in a while I try new foods and they give me a headache, nausea and well to put it not so delicately, more time with the porcelain.
Yes, I go to new places once in a while, but in the end, after all that newness, I always come home to my favorite place, the couch. Anyone ever have a baby? As awesome as it is to enjoy their new fat little faces, you and your spouse and your baby aren’t in the best of moods because your rountine is messed the heck up. Isn’t it just so much better when you get your baby in a ROUTINE? And you get your regular 5-8 hours of sleep. Tell me variety of sleeping hours are better than a routine hour of sleep.
Imagine having to move to a new place every year. Hey kids, guess what? You get to go to a new school this year! Don’t get mad at us though! Variety is the spice of life! I imagine they would think that too. As in they would be as hot as a ghost pepper at me if I kept doing that to them.
Finally a good routine quote.
Can you imagine me changing this blog from bitter to sweet, to salty to bland, to funny and then back to just cat memes? It would just be so confusing. You know what you are going to get when you come here. You know it won’t be some exciting, well written masterpiece. Just the plain old hot garbage you have come to expect. Variety might be the spice of life, but routine is the actual meal you need to survive.
What are your feelings about variety? Really that necessary? Just a way to sell vacations to Hawaii? Just looks good on billboard?
ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Variety Adverse Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
For me, variety leads to paralysis. And regret. For the unchosen choices. Sigh.
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Yep. Just like seeing the huge menu at Cheesecake Factory, I just decide to get something at McDonald’s.
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Not a fan of too many choices. Especially if I’m at Starbucks and it takes an hour for the three people in front of me to decide what they want, regular or decaf, what size, hot or iced, with or without flavor shots, with or without creamer and what kind (dairy half-n-half, whole, 2%, 1%, or skim, or soy, almond, coconut), with or without whipped cream, and oh, wait, do you guys still have that pumpkin spice thing, or is that just in autumn? Can you tell variety makes me bitter? 🙂
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It’s always the worst when people are in front of you. Like make up your own mind before you get in front of me.
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A woman I used to hang out with would all the time say, “Variety is the spice of life,” and I would say, “the guy who said that was locked up three times for insanity,” (true story; I read it in a book), and she would say, “You always say that,” completely ignoring the fact that she always said her line. You might say our conversation lacked variety. And regarding moving every year, I would have LOVED that as a kid. We moved when I was in kindergarten and being the New Girl was great, because everybody wanted to talk to me. Later, when I became the Unpopular Girl, I thought if we moved I could be a whole different person and have friends. But let us leave my childhood traumas for the psychiatrists couch, or perhaps my own blog.
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Variety has its place, but it’s kind of overrated. Unlike you, I like a variety of foods. Earrings, too. And books to read. But there’s a limit to how much variety is a good thing. Too many choices can super overwhelming, and undermine our ability to focus and commit. We think we want the latte, but then whoa, that mocha sounds even better, but then again, the Frappuccino’s caught my attention, but on the other hand, that latte was what I wanted all along before all the distractions came along. Stupid variety…who needs it?
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Precisely my point. Cheesecake factory is a good example. They have so many things on their menu that you can’t ever decide which food you will give you a stomach ache later.
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But Ben, isn’t there angry bitter, depressed bitter, disappointed bitter, hopeless bitter, sad bitter, annoyed bitter, disgusted bitter, cynical bitter, hateful bitter, resigned bitter, and bitter bitter? How could you enjoy bitterness if it weren’t for all the varieties?
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Yes, there are all those, but for the most part, I just lazy into couch bitterness, which I just the laziest kind of bitter.
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