He kept up with me.
When I was in high school, I worked at Target. I usually closed up shop around 11 pm, then drove home on the abandoned roads of Sioux Falls. When I was in high school, I could be kind of a jerk as you might be able to imagine. Anyways, on the way home one night, I don’t remember what I did, but I angered a car ahead of me, by either honking at them, or flashing my lights.
He wasn’t happy with me, so he decided to follow me home. It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling in the world, but I drove really slowly so as not to anger him further. When I got to a certain neighborhood, I decided to try to throw him off the trail by turning into a neighborhood and winding in and out to lose him. He was smarter than me, and found me on the other side. At that point, I was out of courage and tricks, so I just went home while he followed me all the way there. I got out of my car, went inside and hoped that I wouldn’t hear from him again.
I didn’t, but I do know the creepy feeling of being followed. Yesterday, that feeling returned when I was listening to an ad on the radio about a bank. I listened to the name and turned slowly to my right and the exact bank that was doing the ad appeared. It creeped me the heck out. Like the radio people peered inside my brain and decided to do the ad just for me.
It shouldn’t surprise me though. I took a social media certificate program a couple years ago and I know why and how Facebook, Google, Twitter and others can follow you around the web. There is what they call a pixel that businesses can place on their websites and Facebook pages, etc. and the pixel will follow you around the web. So for instance, if you have your Facebook profile up, and then you go to Amazon and search for a Go Pro, but then you leave the site, an ad might appear in your Facebook feed for Go Pro gear. It’s because there is a little snipet of code, your pixel, that knows you went there, and Go Pro can retarget someone who has already visited their site on Amazon.
They are using pixels to know I like pizza.
Just when you though stalking in real life wasn’t creepy enough, now you can have pixels follow you all around the web.
But that radio ad, that is some next level crap. I’m not sure how that bank read my mind and knew I was going to look to the right and know that I was going to see their bank. On the other hand, my wife can read my mind all the time, too. She knows when I will want pizza, knows that I will be watching the Office on Netflix and what joke I will be making next.
Maybe it isn’t hard for ads to find me. It’s just that I’m just so predictable.
What about you guys? Any crazy ads stalking you on your Facebook feeds? Any weird coincidences with advertisements? Or just any crazy stalking in real life?
ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
Bitter Stalkered Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I haven’t noticed any ads or unusual google/twitter/social stuff stalking me but I’ve had my share of human stalkers. No fun at all. I hate those stupid chat heads on FB that pop up with messages. I finally figured out how to cut off the notifications but every time one popped up it would creep me the F out!
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I can’t imagine how horrible it would be to have an actual stalker. Glad you’ve made it out with minimum bitterness.
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I see you Ben. Just trust me… I do….
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Um, can you just stop stalking my building? It’s kind of eery.
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So that’s how they do it, attach a magic pixel? Oh, have I got a bitter cyber-stalking story for you, Ben. Here’s the link: https://justjoan42.wordpress.com/2017/08/20/plunged-into-a-nightmare/. Enjoy. 🙂
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Yep, follows you wherever you go. It is both genius and terrifying.
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Okay Ben, this is wierd, so here goes.
Last week I was getting dressed and walking into the living room while buckling my belt.
The damn thing broke because I eat so much pizza and ice cream, my waist just keeps expanding.
And even though I trimmed the sheared edges and reclasped the thing, when I got on line, the little ads that pop up on me, said belts were on sale at some store or something.
That’s the cameras inside our TV’s and computers doing that to us. Because my phone was lying flat on its back and could only see the ceiling. I’m not saying this just because I’m a conspiracy theorist, others have had similar experiences.
And it doesn’t make me more bitter because I really do want to buy a new belt. I just don’t know if I should plan for the next inch or two on my waist yet.
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Yeah, my belt is a problem too, because it doesn’t expand as much as it could. When expandable belts come out, then they can follow me to the moon.
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What bugs me is when I buy something, but am stalked forever by the item I’ve already ordered. Right now I’m followed by Birkenstock sandals. By the time they arrive, I will already be sick of them. Sometimes I look at things I have no intention of buying, like flowers. Then the ads are pretty, at least.
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It will get to the point where companies will start making the shoes actually follow you around until you finally buy them.
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This is definitely red pill stuff.
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Yeah, I was definitely influenced by the Matrix a lot. Especially when FBI agents are trying to kill me at work.
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Damn! You too? Hey umm . . . we should speak in code from here on out.
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I’ll send you the green dropping code from now on.
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That might be a good idea. From here on out, I will refer to you as Mr Anderson.
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Except I would be the Mr. Anderson that took the wrong pill and stayed in this miserable existence.
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I often wonder why Wed Anderson, the director, never wrote about THAT Mr. Anderson.
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That would be a good one, almost like an Inception of Mr. Anderson’s.
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Yes! Now we’re talking!
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It boggles the mind.
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Are we still speaking code? Because according to my chart, what you just said . . it means “I’ll take a Big Mac meal, super size it”.
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Yes, that is what I was trying to say in code. Also, more pepperoni and cheese on the pizza.
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Hold the anchovies . .
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I always do…on second thought I never hold anchovies. They are gross to hold.
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I’ve been stalked by an ex-boyfriend since 1993. I move around a lot, but he still manages to find me. Luckily, he’s been wanted by the U.S. Marshall Service in Wisconsin since 2016 and hasn’t dared contact me. Silver lining.
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That really sucks. Real life stalking is the worst. I don’t understand how people can be obsessed by someone for that long. I was in college in 1993, and I can’t imagine someone being obsessed with me all the way from my college years.
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lack of imagination is my guess…
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Yeah, let’s hope people continue to lack imagination. That’s pretty cool that you have the U.S. Marshalls on your side though. Is Tommy Lee Jones one of them?
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I googled my name once, and got a map that showed the exact spot where I lived. That creeped me out a lot. So I put a sign in my front yard that read, “John Smith Doesn’t Really Live Here.” (Note: I have cleverly changed my name in this comment, to protect my identity.)
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Oh shoot, I totally thought your name was John Smith. In all honesty, I could put my name on any map and no one would come to my house, cause nobody really cares.
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Every week I get offers on for points at the local grocery store if I buy certain things. For a long time, I was like “How do they know I need this?!” Then I realized they track my purchases and calculate how long it will be before I run out of something. Just a little creepy…
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It’s always nice when grocery stores like to get to know you better than your friends. Sheesh.
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