When I was in junior high, I was already starting to think about my career, all because one of my stupid teachers told us we had to think about careers. My initial decision was advertising. Then, when I got to high school, I had to take a speech class which wasn’t terrifrying at all. The teacher let us talk about whatever we wanted, but we had to do research for it, which was even more terrifrying (yes, I am thinking about frys right now).

Anyways, my Nintendo phase was at its full frenzy at the time and I wanted to do something with video games, even though careers were non-existent at that point (nowadays, all you have to do is be good at games and making people watch you and you can have a career on Twitch).

I was also fascinated by dreams then too. I did a speech about dreams and become so fascinated that I wanted to become a dream interpreter. I didn’t know that a dream interpreter was kind of a 1-900 number hoaky kind of thing, but dreams still fascinate me to this day. I used to write them down and then try to figure out what they meant.

The other day I had a really vivid dream about something I forgot almost instantly. The only thing I remember was that I was at Little Caeser’s pizza specifically.

Then I thought back to my original career choice of advertising. Since the dawn of time, people have been using advertising to get awareness for their product. First it was cave walls, then it was over the air on radio, billboards, then on ancient scrolls called magazines, then it was on TV. TV reigned for years until the internet came along, and now social media is a big thing. Companies are so desperate to stand out from the crowd that they will pioneer just about anyway possible to advertise their products. I know they even tried subliminal advertising for a hot second back in the 60’s before it was banned for basically cheating.

Well, I think I have an even more invasive way for advertisers sell to us. In our dreams. I know that seems super illegal and stuff, but how about we just let people sign a waiver saying that products may appear in their dreams in exchange for getting paid. I would be one of first ones to sign up. My dreams could use a little spicing up, especially if that spice is pizza and if they can make me into an action hero in my dreams, I wouldn’t oppose.

I ‘m thinking as long as I could have some restful sleep and some money, bring on the Bitter Action Hero. Also, if any sponsors read this blog, I wouldn’t be opposed to do some sponsored posts for lots of money.

What do you guys think? If you were paid to have ads pumped into your dreams would you do it?

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Sponsored By Little Caeser’s Ben