I was thinking about doing a new segment here on the blog and what a bitter way to start it then on this Monday when I am particularly bitter about a certain subject.
But first, lemme tell you what the segment is called. Maniac Monday, of course stolen by the song by the Bangles, but renamed Maniac Monday so the blatant ripoff isn’t so obvious to people. Anyways, besides Tuesday, Monday is the worst day right? Since I have tried and failed at many different things on this blog, why not try and fail at one more thing? Because if I’ve learned one thing, it is that trying always lead to failure.
So one of my favorite things is waking up early. I get in early for work, the commute is a lot less maddening, I’m a lot more tired in the afternoon, and then I leave early to traffic that still baffles me. I don’t actually accomplish anything because I wake up early. I don’t meditate, or go jogging, or even buy bagels for the office (I buy them for myself, of course).
There is just this magical bitterness that comes along with waking up way too early. It’s like, I could be like everyone else and get the right amount of sleep. Or I could be like every person in every movie ever and wake up when the sun is just shining through my window and I lazily take a shower, while breakfast is being made downstairs and kids and getting ready for school. That doesn’t work for me at all.
I need to sneak around the house like a ninja, and get out of there. I don’t want to be around in the mornings when kids are awake. Then they would want to talk to me. Try to get free advice, tell me to have a good day, etc. Nobody needs that kind of false hope in the morning.
I rely on my alarm clock to jar me out of sleep at 5 am. It’s too early in the morning to rely on the internal alarm clock. My fear is that I will wake up at 8 am and then I will have to speak to the wife and kids and then they will need me to do something or whatever.
So of course, this Maniac Monday I forgot to set my alarm. As I almost always do, I woke up in a panic that my alarm didn’t go off, but this time I was actually right. It was 5:20 am, so I was not only right, but late.
That always sets the day up on the wrong side of the foot. My minds starts racing a little too fast for 5:20 am and my shower nap has to be so much shorter. Every little thing has to go a little faster and my morning routine gets screwed up. The alarm clock doesn’t get to sleep in. He always need to be waking me up.
Your day is just a little behind for the rest of the day. Thank goodness, I’m a bitter person, so I have something to mess up the rest of my day.
What about you? How does the missing of an alarm clock mess up your day? What do you think about my new segment Maniac Monday? What are your favorite stupid things that happen on Monday?
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Alarm Clock Slippage Ben
robins wake me up every day around 4-430 this time of year
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Seriously. I get chirping a little bit, but constantly? And if the birds don’t wake you up, it’s the stupid sun.
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Ben, these posts are getting better and better, bitter man.
I don’t use an alarm clock, everyone knows not to bother me till at least 10 am, and that usually becomes 11 because I need two cups of bitter coffee. But I just got a job last month and I’ll be starting at 10, so you can guess how bitter I’ll be…that’s right, bitter and they better have the coffee ready when I get there.
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Yeah, jobs are the worst. They make you wake up way before you really want to. I’m glad you got a job though. They are the best places to avoid work and get blogging done.
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The ideas still come throughout all of the hours in the day, but on this job, we cannot possess paper or pencil, nor phones. This training has been from 4 pm till 12:30 am, so I write when I get home.
My second month of training starts this Sunday, but my hours will be from 10 am till 7 pm. Much more to my liking.
Do you work a FT position? Your recent postings have been involved and thought provoking, which I would think takes several hours of writing and editing. I wasn’t kidding when I said I can see a difference during these last three months.
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I’ve always had crazy thoughts like these. But now I get to write them down consistently BECAUSE I have a job. I always do better with the blog at work, because it is easier to slack on something you should be doing, than slacking on video games or listening to your kids.
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Also, I usually write through things once and maybe look to edit, but I only get about half an hour before I get it posted. Oh, and I feel bad for you that you can’t have a pen. That would be pure torture for me.
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I don’t use one unless I have a flight to catch, then I don’t sleep at all!!!
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I can’t remember the last time I had a flight to catch. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve had to get on an airplane. Maybe I’ll get a vacay soon, but I’ve never flown for work.
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Now I have both “Maniac” stuck in my head, but oddly enough NOT “Manic Monday,” so I guess your title change successfully transcended the “rip-off” category. Personally, I have no issue with Monday…but don’t get me started on Tuesday…
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Oh, my gosh, Tuesday’s are the absolute worst. I figured that out 5 years ago. While Tuesdays are the worst, Mondays are bad too, because they are a work day.
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I love Maniac Monday! I rarely need an alarm clock as I don’t sleep much. My body naturally wakes between 3:30 am and 4:00am. Every. Single. *&^%$%$. Day.
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I hate that my body wakes me up most of the time right before the alarm. I wish I could pound it all the time.
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Pound on it anyway just because you can!
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That sounds like a great idea. I love beating stuff that can’t beat back.
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Your wife and kids probably don’t want to talk to you either.
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I know that for sure. Especially my teenager who avoids talking to me like the plague right now.
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I am exceptionally bitter that you CHOOSE to get up at five and it is EARLY. I personally am sleeping in to a leisurely 4:30 a.m. since I got taken off overtime (the smaller paycheck is an additional source of bitterness, although I do prefer working 8 hours over 10, and I felt inclined to burst into tears every morning at 3 when I had to get up). Where was I? I like BEING up early but despise GETTING up early. It becomes increasingly difficult as I get older. Now you have something else to look forward to!
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Exactly. Getting up early means you get to avoid other people, so there is that perk. If it wasn’t for other people the rest of the day would be awesome too.
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I like it. I like it better that you’re setting yourself up for more bitterness, since we all know no one reads blogs on Mondays.
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I know right? And the ones that do have nothing nice to say, and that just adds to the bitterness.
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I’m one of those unfortunate people who doesn’t need an alarm clock because brain wakes up anyway no matter how late I may have been up the night before. This also happens when alcohol or/and Ambien are included in the mix. At least I don’t have a spouse or kid to deal with, which pretty much offsets the bitterness I feel about not being able to sleep late ever.
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It almost makes me wonder if you have one of those movie like responses of waking up to a startled look on your face every morning. I can usually tell I’m late if I have dreams that are taking too long, instead of the interrupted ones.
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At this point, missing my alarm is my new normal. Right now I’ve just accepted my tardiness, but secretly I hope that I get my act together soon. Of course I hit that point about ten years ago, so…Yeah.
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Hopefully everyone else has accepted your tardiness too, because if they have, you have a good thing going there.
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I haven’t used an alarm clock in years. I rely on my neighbors’ lawn mower on Mondays. He’s a mean man.
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Yeah, you could at least wait until noon to start mowing the lawn. I think that right there is reason enough to move.
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I completely relate to getting up earlier than the rest of the family and sneaking around the house like a ninja to avoid human interaction. I am, however, undecided whether I am more bitter when my alarm fails to wake me in the morning or when it succeeds. J.
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Either way alarms are kind of the worst. When they sleep in, so do you. When they wake you up, you just want to pound them.
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2 cents dept: I like the segment – we all share the same day of the week, if not the same holidays, or, occasionally, the same year. (In the Chinese calendar, I believe, it is the year 45,978 give or take. Apologies all over the place) Your segment would set the tone for the rest of the week IMO, and what day are we in need for a laugh (albeit a bitter one) than THAT day. Tuesday is pretty bad, lodged as it is, between 2 very sub-standard days. But I digress. Missing the alarm, as you so highly point out, gives your day a quarter turn in the WRONG direction, then, stripping the threads, to continue the metaphor. All day long, you are like that loose nut, getting looser and more wobbly, in spite of draughts of coffee and splashing of cold water in the face.I had my car towed from the front of a Starbucks one Monday, had to pay the driver $75 to take it off the hook. Missed the No Parking sign. THAT was an expensive beverage.
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Yeah, I agree that Monday, while not the worst day of the week, (Tuesday is the worst by far), doesn’t welcome happiness, only bitterness by most. Plus it is the furthest day from Friday, which is bitterness itself.
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I’m retired. Monday means nothing to me, except bitter memories. Actually, I wait until Monday to do my shopping, because there are less crowds due to everyone being at work. That way I don’t have to look at people while I shop.
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That makes me want to be retired so bad right now. Only 20 more years…before I get to start thinking about retirement. Makes me so bitter to even think about it.
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