I have the Scottish bitterness.
I believe that ancestry is pretty important because you get all your traits from the DNA of the people that came before you. My parents tell me that I came from a bunch of Scottish people, which I’ve been told in the media are pretty bitter people. I feel for those who are born from me, because they are 50% bitter. All they need is one bitter thought and the makes them 51% and that’s Bitter dominant.
What I also know is that I’m not Irish, despite the fact that I lather up in an Irish Spring every morning. Not being Irish is a problem for me, ever since I was young. Since I started here in November, I’ve literally been entered in like 12 contests. There were tickets to go to Hamilton, Post Malone, drawings for drones, and vacations to Southern Utah.
The luck of the Irish I do not have.
I’ve lost every one.
I’ve entered 1 lottery contest to win 800 million dollars. I lost that one as well. I’ve even put a nickel in the nickel slots, and didn’t win a dime. I entered a contest with my unfinished book to get it published. All I got back was a book filled with red squiggly lines and rejection stamped on it. I keep entering myself in a contest to have a better life and I keep losing at that too.
I think the universe is trying to tell me something. Keep trying, so you get rejected more. It’s fun for everyone to see the bitterness all over your face. So somehow, the universe will keep giving me messages of hope. They will send me motivational speakers to pump me up. They will keep putting contests out there for amazing prizes. They will keep enticing me will contests that seem easy. They will promise me riches and wealth untold.
Just so I will try again. And they will succeed. And I will fail. The universe or the force or whatever keeps getting me to try succeeds over and over again, because they know I will fail over and over again.
Not because I have fortitude or sticktoitiveness or a strong will. It’s because I have bitterness, the strongest force in the universe, and that bitterness will keep me trying to do something that I know I will fail at.
Bitterness will overcome luck everyday.
So, tell me in the comments. How bad is your luck and how has your bitterness overcome it everytime?
ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
Bitter No Luck Ben
Did you say you started blogging in November 2017? How did you amass 10,000+ followers that quickly? Honey might attract more flies than vinegar, but vinegar sure attracts a lot of WordPress followers! Good job. So jealous.
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Nope I started waaaay back when. I was a rookie in March 2012 I believe. When I started didn’t get a single follower until I was 6 months into it.
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I’m also bitter that I never ever win at anything, but the stupid penny on the floor “see a penny, pick it up, and all day you’ll have good luck” keeps messing with my emotions.
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Yeah, exactly. That stupid rhyme was probably invented by a janitor that would have had to pick up all those pennies for years that nobody cared about.
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Food for thought, Ben.
Being born is a bit like the lottery too. I believe The Who said something about being born with a plastic spoon in their mouth. Being bitter about one’s parents and breeding is an excellent way of stoking the bitterness fires! I like to piss and moan about my dry, neurotic British side, and my stoic and rigid Japanese side. They are so at odds that skirmishes occasionally flare up, which I stamp out with Stella and pizza.
The beer. Fidelity my middle name, tho it is actually Arthur.
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I often lament the fact that my parents loved me and actually cared for me. How am I supposed to drum up the needed drama in my life to become a superhero when they made life so drama free?
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I have been desperate for money Ben, as I’ve been unemployed for 20 months now. So imagine my delight when I got a letter from the VP of Publishers Clearinghouse telling me not to neglect the $50 K drawing my number was selected for. I returned the notice immediately, and that was 3 months ago.
Now they’ve announced another contest, and I’m still waiting to see where my money went.
If people aren’t bitter, that’;s just their own damn fault. We’ve certainly got plenty of reasons to be.
Great post.
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Exactly. I think people shouldn’t have to work very hard to find their bitterness, but people just seem to fight it again and again. Someday they will learn.
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Never won the Pubiher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, I think I was in on that 800 million dollar lottery and didn’t win (that’s two I know didn’t win – maybe it was rigged). I keep trying because I know good guys always finish last. So there’s my proof – I’m a good guy!
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That must be I’m not winning all these contests. It’s probably because I’m so bitter.
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Excellent reasoning. Gold star for you and your pigs!
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Great post as always. I bitterly oppose one remark you made: “you get all your traits from the DNA of the people that came before you.” Not true. Have you ever known identical twins? They have the same DNA, and they do not have all the same traits. J.
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I’ve know a few twins, yes. And don’t those twins get their DNA from the parents before them? I don’t really know actually because I’m bad at science.
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Our luck is so bad we sometimes have a hard time being optimistic. We’ll be happy that we got a tax refund, only to have the car break down the following week. We’ll borrow someone’s lawn mower/hedge clipper/chainsaw, and that’s when it decides to completely turn into a hunk of unrepairable junk. I must say though, even though our luck Is not the kind that will make us rich, we’ve never been without the necessities of life, so maybe that should be my focus. Sorry, I guess I just couldn’t keep this comment totally bitter to the end.
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You were so close to being bitter to the end. Don’t worry, you’ll get there. It’s just easy for me, because I’m the king of bitterness.
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I’m still waiting on the Prize Patrol to show up….very bitterly.
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It’s clearly just taking its time arriving to my house. Maybe they just lost the address.
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They sent me an email confirming mine! I feel so betrayed…
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I think that email was supposed to be sent to your junk file, but they keep sending it to your regular file and giving you hope.
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