Make up bitterness

/ bensbitterblog

Which one of these places will take over my media company after no one in my family wants it?

I have a daughter. You might not know that because I don’t mention her much. She is really shy with the media, so I don’t get to interview her very much. She is kind of elusive that way, so most of what you get on her is speculation from other media outlets and pictures that the paparazzi steal from her phone. I hope she will go into the media someday, i.e. take over the blog, but you do your kids a disservice if you force them to do what you do.

That means I might have to turn this blog over to some random media conglomerate someday, but when the bidding will probably enter into the billions, Disney will probably want it and will probably turn it into a blog for Grumpy or something. Sad.

Anyways, my daughter is into make up these days. She would probably kill me for mentioning it, so if I turn up dead tomorrow, you will know that her hitman took care of me.

Back to her make up. She is always using these make up terms. Stuff like eye shadow, mascara, blush, foundation, highlighting, countouring, eyebrows, eyelashes and concealer. I told her I have no idea what those things are and she rolled her eyes at me. At least I know what that is. She must have inhereted her eye rolls from me.

l feel bad for her already. She has to spend hours more than me getting ready every morning. I can’t remember the last time I cared how my eye lashes, eye brows (still don’t know the difference between those things) or how my lips looked. I haven’t even put Chapstick on my lips more than 5 times in my life.

We signed her up for a monthly makeup thing for Christmas, and she looks forward to it, like I used to look forward to my monthly Geek box, Loot Crate. I keep hearing her talking about how she got the wrong pallete of makeup or how this color doesn’t work for her skin type. When was the last time I had to worry about my skin type?

What is my skin type? Wrinkled.

All I know is that you girls have to have some bitterness toward all this stuff. The expectation that you wear it, the cost of having to buy it, the amount of time it takes you to get ready every morning, or even the amount of time that men don’t notice it. Please tell me there is make up bitterness out there. I know as a non participator, I feel bitter because of it.

Lemme know, ladies. What are your beefs? And just in case you think I’m going to know what you are talking about, I won’t. But this blog is for beefing, so let it go, even if I will have no idea what you are talking about.

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Make Up Ben

34 thoughts on “Make up bitterness”

  1. How sweet of you to try to understand our bitter makeup issues!?!? I have serious issues with makeup. It’s evil and has it’s own demonic personality. When I wear makeup it’s as if I’m wearing fried bacon because the men make eye contact and try to talk to me. I’ve noticed when I don’t wear any makeup they seem to not make eye contact or try avoiding me at all cost. It’s a love/hate situation. I think you should try it some time so you can understand the process and post a picture 😉

    Like

    Reply

  2. YOU HAVE NO IDEA! My days of being a sweet young thing, or even an attractive woman, or even just obviously a woman, are over. I’m more like an old hag, so I don’t do much anymore and I’m bitter about the little bit I do do. I’m bitter about that too, but it’s a whole nother story. I can’t believe girls do the stuff they do these days, especially that Brazilian Wax stuff. Oh, you don’t know about that? Google it. The world has lost it’s mind, I’m telling you Ben.

    Like

    Reply

    • You are a performer though. I think that kind of goes along with what you do. I mean, you could even do KISS makeup for your shows. My daughter did do an advent calendar for Christmas, opening a different shade of lipstick every day. She got orange and pink, but never black. Maybe when she goes through her goth phase.

      Like

      Reply

  4. I have not worn make up in years, except for sometimes lips and eyes for a special occasion, or when I’m on stage. I was putting on the works for a short time when I had my first retail job, because I thought I should look a certain way. It took forever! And I never did get the hang of blush. The first time I looked at myself on my day off and said, “Yuck!” I said, “That’s enough of that!” I made up my mind to get used to my face looking yucky, and that was that. Not for nuthin’ but my husband has always liked that I don’t wear make up.

    Like

    Reply

    • Well, if you ever want help figuring out blush or whatever, my daughter would be glad to help. On the other hand, I’m with you. My wife doesn’t wear make up everyday, but she looks just fine with or without. And to be honest, it might just be a phase with my daughter just like all her other phases.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. I was make up free for four decades. Now however nature needs a bit of help but my knowledge of make up is limited.
    Yer man I married is disgusted though, as he believes it’s not fair. I can dye my hair a realistic shade of purple and apply make up to look less scary while he goes grey and his face continues to look ‘natural’ (older).
    I never thought I’d say it but make up can be good.
    (don’t tell your daughter but mine takes moments to apply and sometimes I don’t even bother with a mirror!

    Like

    Reply

    • Yeah, makeup can be lots of things for lots of ladies. I think it is funny the range of people. Some feel they have to have it, others, are either limited or don’t even wear it. In any sense, it is a matter of discussion.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  7. Ben- makeup is the DEVIL! It controls us. It controls how we feel on any particular day or on a nice night out. A day with no makeup MUST mean you’re SICK or dying or depressed. And it just sucks! But we’ve done this to ourselves and we kind of love it at the same time. Most of us are masochists!! lol and let’s not get into how expensive it can be!!! Please let’s not. I almost had to trade one of my children for new foundation at the cosmetics counter the other day in Macy’s. Ha!!!!! Here- take the little one who never shuts up.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • I’m sooo sorry I brought up this bitter subject. Just kidding. This is great. Finally a chance for you ladies to have a platform to rant about. It must be so bitter for you to have to do it all the time. I can’t remember the last time I even brushed my hair. And there is a brand new subject. Hair. Tune in soon for that one.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • Ha!!!! Don’t get me started on Hair!!! Is it too straight or too wavy or too puffy or too curly or too dry or too oily or too brown or too yellow is it too short or too longer or do I need layers? Should I cut my bangs or should I pull it all back or leave it all down or to the side or in a braid or in a bun?! I hate hair too! lol

        Like

        Reply

  11. Yes, make up bitterness is most definitely a thing, and I’m a low-maintenance kind of lady. I have drawn the line at contouring, however. I don’t know any actual adult that has time for that nonsense. She’ll get tired of it, as we all do, and wish she could go back in time and decide to be one of those “natural beauty” kind of gals who never even started with that crap to begin with.

    Like

    Reply

  12. I wear makeup but it takes less than a minute to apply it. From start to finish, I can be showered dressed, have makeup on and be out the door in less time than it takes my husband. That makes me bitter. I ask him “If you’re not applying makeup than why does it take you 2 hours to do what I can do in 30 minutes?”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Your Bitter Comments

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.