I guess a few of you attempted to help out last week with the giftures and for that you will all be handsomely punished! Come on people, you gotta do bitter than that! I expect a lot more heavy lifting from you all around here and you miserably and bitterly failed. How can all the work I do around here obscurely fade out into nothingness when you guys aren’t doing your part around here? They says if you can’t get others to do things for you, I guess you have to do it yourself. That’s going to be a problem for me, but if I wan’t things done poorly, I guess I’m going to have to do it myself. So here goes Friday Giftures with my poor captioning.
The slide…
…somehow still uses gravity.
Seems like everyone can make money round here…
…except me.
It’s nice to see that not everyone around here…
…is competent.
That plane crashed…
…faster than my stats last year.
That first guy doesn’t know how to bottle flip…
…good thing the second one showed him how.
And good thing we have this ref…
…to show you all how to workout.
And it is nice of this dad…
…to show us how to throw snow boulders at our kids.
And this dog is a good example of how to…
…run into things without thinking them through.
This kid’s air trajectory…
…is in all the airline manuals.
This guy shows us all the right way…
…to get our head booped.
This cow…
…shows traffic who is boss.
And finally, this kid shows the ball…
…who is the boss.
Well, I just to thank you all so sincerely for not nailing the captions last week. I was trying really hard not to cringe at them. I hope you are all happy with yourselves. Anyways, if you can think of any way you can lighten the burden I carry with this blog then let me know in the comments. Also, look forward to disappointment next week where I’m sure I will be announcing another milestone.
ARRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter Barely There Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I’m bitter I haven’t had time away from my delightful and demented family in the last TWO WEEKS to read bitter blogs.
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That is just sad. Why are families so selfish that they can’t leave their mom/wife some time to read bitter blogs?
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HA! 😀
We let you down because we’d rather have you do all the bitter work bitterly. And we can just sit back and laugh! 😉 😛 I can’t think of any way to help lighten your bitter load. Sorry. 😛 (*snort*)
Do we get to pick our own punishment?! If so, I have something in mind for my punishment.
HUGS and Happy Whee-kend! Yes, hope it’s happy and not bitter! 😀
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Yeah, hugs sound like a completely acceptable form of torture. I can’t think of anything I would try to avoid more.
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And you said WE let YOU down??
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Not it wasn’t we, it was more just YOU.
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Snow boulders? LOL! And I always wondered what it was called when the parking rail comes down on your head (or car)… you got “booped.” High five, Ben! Well, sort of…
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We used to stack up those snow boulders at our bus stop to try to stop the bus driver from taking us to school. Failed, just like in life. All I wanted was just one single snow month. Was that too much to ask?
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We let you down. Repeat that ten times. Ah, the bitterness!
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I know. The bitterness is strong as the sun this morning.
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It’s as strong as the pungent scent of curry that fills my office space at the moment. Some people like it.
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That is a strong smell that I can’t get on board with. Though I’m sure people say that about me too.
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Laughs out loud!
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Better than laughing out quiet.
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snicker.
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Snickers sound good.
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Oh god, now I have to run to the store.
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Make sure to pick up some ice cream bar Snickers for me.
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They are the best. It’s hard to be bitter while digging into a box of ice cream snickers!
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I can find a way to be bitter about everything, even Snicker’s Ice Cream. Like really? The caramel is dripping all over my shirt!
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I wear a bib.
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Smart. I’m not so much.
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A bib gives one an air of superiority. I wouldn’t be without a drawer full.
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I got rid of those as soon as my kids outgrew them.
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Well, that was obviously a mistake.
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I meant the kids. Whoops I mean the bibs.
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😝
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So emoji.
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