Oh look, an innovate way to use meat, cheese and lettuce!
Anyone here a fan of Taco Bell? I used to be, back in the 90’s when I was a college student and lived in a town that had no Taco Bell. My friends and I would find someone with a car and excitedly go to another town 30 miles away so we could experience medium city living. It was a town that had a 10 store mall, and a movie theater that got first run movies. I think it also had a two story building. Most importantly it had a Taco Bell.
You know what Taco Bell is good at? The ability to mix together meat, cheese and lettuce into thousands of combinations of slightly different foods. Every three months they come out with a “New” food that somehow is exciting, different and innovative. The only thing they are really doing is remixing three different ingredients in slightly different ways and it is working. Somehow, they are still in business.
It is said that there are no original thoughts beyond the 5 or six stories that someone in prehistoric times printed on their cave walls. I haven’t done one original post since I began blogging. I’m pretty much the Taco Bell of bloggers. I mix those 5 or 6 different stories, say I’m bitter about it, and you suckers buy it time after time.
Ooh look, an innovative way to play Candy Crush.
A lot of people think I’m a creative person to be able to come up with all these blog posts. What they don’t know is I’m just a rapper that samples everyone else’s good work, and remix it with different words. They think I went to college and was this great English major to be able to learn how periods and paragraphs and introductions and conclusions work. They are wrong. All I do is spit my words into a bitter subject machine and it spits out these posts.
I even have a bunch of books in the works that will fool all of mankind. I’m just going to spit it into my Bitter Random Story generator and get some sucker to publish it. You guys are all going to think I sat staring out a window wistfully and deep in thought for hours about how to word this thing or that. I might even get a photographer (my kids) to take a picture of me pretending to think about stuff and put it on the back cover.
What I’m saying is that neither I or anyone else is creative. Which really sucks, because I’m certainly not good at anything like math or computers. So hopefully, I can keep fooling you people into thinking I have some original thoughts. Cause the stupid cavemen took all the original thoughts.
ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Remixologist Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
The purpose of creative thought is … hold on … Taco Bell has a new burrito with … see ya later!
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Yep, it has a combination of meat, cheese and lettuce. I bet you can’t wait to see how original it is!
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My very first job was at Taco Bell, and I still like it – so I must be most particularly unoriginal.
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You must just love meat, cheese and lettuce then. I am the same way about pizza. My first job was there and somehow I still like it.
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LMAO. The struggle is real, Bitter Ben. If it’s any consolation, I have a lot of appreciation for your Bitter Blogs. You make my heart happy.
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You know the struggle. Having to remix all the words to make something pretty similar to just about every other story right?
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Troglodytes have nothing on me and my creative exploitation of drawings on a wall!
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I’m more of a modern day troglodyte. Just bring me some soda and food and I could live in my man cave for the rest of my life. Now I just need to get a man cave.
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In a country that looks like it is being over run by vegans and feminists according to the media is it even possible for you to find such a cave without putting yourself in danger?
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Vegans are the worst! How could I have not written bitterly about them yet? And as far as finding me in a cave, all I have to do is eat meat and the vegans run away screaming.
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I would normally agree there but they have been given a false sense of confidence from others on social media when they put up edited videos of them wasting the police time and saying they were left speecless. What is more bitterly dissapointing is this talk of meat and not sharing any
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I agree. People need to be less stingy with the meat. Cows and pigs have to have some purpose.
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Oh well, at least the original recipe is decent.
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The original recipe of Sprite Remix? Yeah, it was pretty good.
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ok, but you still made me smile…
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Not sure how I did that. I just told you I faked the whole post as well as the rest of my posts. I’m a fraud! I guess that would make me laugh too.
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you’ve got me mixed up
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Not as remixed as me.
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This can’t be right. One of my college professors said that creativity comes from the wellspring of one’s unique inviolable soul.
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And you trusted your college professor? He was probably taking bribes from Amazon to teach you that you “had potential” and you should bring your “potential” to their shipping department.
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Like the food model you coerced to hold your taco! Or is she pushing you into higher levels of publishing? I am so old there was NO Taco Bell anywhere when in college.
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Yeah, she did it for literally zero dollars! Well at least from me. I don’t pay the people of google photos. Anyways, having one only 30 minutes from us was a privilege. Too bad the food was gross.
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Oh, fun. Thanks for visiting and leaving me a like. I admit I followed you back. And marked your follow. And read your About. You revived Old Lit college days for me. Especially the only “four” plots behind every story. What were they: God/god; God/man; Man/God; Man/man. But nobody in that place “foot-noted” is origin. I’ll hang around and see what else you can teach me. :F
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Just you wait. I’ve got all kinds of things I can not teach you. Your wealth of knowledge will not come from me, that is for sure.
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My thoughts exactly, but you had them first … or did you?
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I’m sure one of us did. Or maybe the cavemen. Probably the cavemen.
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I bitterly resent the implications……:)
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Of course all your writing is completely original. It’s mine that is just sent through a machine.
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LOL LOL LOL You’re the best Bitter Ben!
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You better not say that out loud. I’m the not the best, I’m the bitterest.
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