I was born in Southern California close to a tiny town called Los Angeles and lived there for 6 years during, you know, my formative years. Then we moved to the New York area, an even smaller podunk town called NYC. Luckily, we got out of those lands of opportunity and moved to South Dakota, a thriving Metropolis. We needed to book Superman full time hours, just to keep all the tractors, pigs and chickens safe. The most important thing was the corn though. If it wasn’t for the corn, or maize as the insiders like me like to call it, how would we ever have popcorn, Corn Flakes, or my personal favorite, high fructose corn syrup. If it wasn’t for that, most of my junk foods wouldn’t exist. Speaking of ceasing to exist, I’m sure this blog would cease to exist if it wasn’ t for Bitter Friday Giftures, hanging it by a thread. With that, let’s get to it.
The best way to learn how to fly…
…is to annoy the heck out of your brother.
Some people…
…get a little nervous around stars of the Lion King.
Apparently we need to start teaching…
…babies how to do things.
This kid really needs to…
…step up his defense.
This girl thought the water…
…was too watered down.
This kid was…
…kind of a drag.
This guy…
…was a real pane in the glass.
I guess this guy is…
…in charge of running the place.
This girl was trying out…
…her pair of New Balances.
This girl need to be better…
…at sticking to it.
This girl needs to…
…go back to the basics.
One was trying to Trump the other…
…but got epic Bern..ied.
Alright, I know this post was kind of corny, but that’s what I am used to producing in the State of South Dakota. And also my State of Bitterness. By the way, may your 2018 be as bitter as your 2017.
ARRGGGHHHHHHHH
Bitter Corn Fed Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
A very Happily Bitter New Year to you!
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You got it. This year will be the worst yet!
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You were born in CA…that explains a lot! Ha! š š Just teasing you, Ben. I lived in CA for a long time and all of my kids were born there. š
Corn is important, as is corny! š
I love the teaching babies how to do things GIF! š
I plan on 2018 being sweet, wonderful, fun, pleasant! š But I’ll stop by here on occasion for some bitter. š
HUGS!!! š
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I know you will be back for some bitter. We’ve got some converting to do with you.
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HA! Good luck with that! š
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Well, I have all kinds of days left in the year. I will work lazily hard to get you to be one of the most MVB, most valuable bitterperson.
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My least favorite kind is creamed!
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My favorite is high fructose corn syrup!
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I’m impressed by the treadmill guy. But that basketball boy definitely drew a charging call on the offense. J.
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Yeah unfortunately the other guy paid the refs so it was a defensive foul.
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I hope your 2018 is a-maize-ing.
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That is a pretty a-maize-ing pun.
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Happy (bitter) New Year
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It will be whether I try to be bitter or not. It’s just ingrained with me.
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Thanks for helping me stay bitter all year, Ben. And Bitter New Year to you!
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It better be a bitter new year next year or I will be bitter…or something.
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LOL! The big city of South Dakota has never been on my “must travel to” list. Neither have the small towns of LA or NYC, but airplanes tend to take you to those two places whether you want to go there or not.
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Yeah, airplanes are kind of rude. It like you have to go exactly where they want to take you. Hostages anyone?
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A veritable bitter corny-copia!
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Yep, I pretty much live in Punville, a suburbe of Pun City in the state of Punsylvania.
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And your phone number is PUnnsylvania 6-5000?
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Yep, feel free to call that number as often as you want, because you know I will answer on the first ring every time!
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