I am really good at starting things. I wrote the first draft of a novel, still in the middle of 2-17 drafts that are required to get published. I started wrapping my wife’s gift for Christmas…, oh crap she is here. Hold on a minute….
Okay, that was close. I hid it in the basement where I will most certainly forget where I put it. I started to help my kids with their homework earlier too.
It finishing things that I have problems with. Geez, settle down adult responsibilities. Stop getting in the way of the post I was going to write. What was I talking about again? Ugggh, forget it. Anyways, I started a YouTube series of videos, called Bitter News from the Couch. It got a first season, which completed like 2 years ago, then it got renewed for a second season by YouTube, and then I only did one episode. What is wrong with me? I mean besides everything.
The only thing I have ever finished is my kids pizza. That I will do until the day I die. Over 5 years ago, I committed to writing about every single thing that made me bitter. Today I hit blog post 1000, which means that if every blog post were a year(which is about how long it felt each post was to write), I would be a millennial right now, right? And yet, here we are, just scratching the surface of all the things that make me bitter.
I try every year on my birthday to knock out a bunch on one day (one for every year I grace this earth with my curse) and still I’m way behind. It would be nice if we could recruit more people around here to do more bitter posts, so I could knock out a few more, but you guys seems to positive, sunny, and not so helpful. My crusade to find all the bitter is pretty hard when you guys aren’t doing any of the work for me. You know it is my goal to sit on the couch, watch television and eat pizza right?
How does a guy get any help around here? In the meantime, I will be toiling away over in this corner doing blog post after blog post, till I get to 2000 and rename it 20th Century Bitterness, making you all bitter. I hope that someone just volunteers to be my personal assistant for free and takes over all the things that require me doing anything but sitting on the couch and writing posts.
Just another thing I didn’t finish.
ARRRRGGGHHHHHH
Bitter 1000 Poster Ben
Total congrats on 1,000 posts (I can only hope) and when someone steps up as your personal assistant are you willing to rent them out? I need one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have had so many personal assistants quit, I don’t think they exist any more.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Behold the Mighty (Bitter) KiloPost!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is so mighty that the internet made it into a viral post. Oh wait, no they didn’t.
LikeLike
It’s the Christmas season! How could there be a lack of bitterness? I’ll stir something up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re right. The Christmas season always has a reason to be bitter.
LikeLike
Congratulations…I say that at the risk of making you bitter. Keep up the good work!
LikeLike
How dare you make me bitter and wish me congratulations. It is a bitter accomplishment indeed.
LikeLike
“The only thing I have ever finished is my kids pizza.” And with that, you became my new hero haha. Congrats on the milestone!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am my kids hero’s. Because they don’t like crust.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have the same problem. Not finishing what I st
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s really become a huge pr
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy 1,000! Congrats! 🙂
Couch-sittin’, pizza-eatin’, and bitter-bloggin’…a worthy goal indeed! Good luck! May your 2018 be filled with all three!!! 😛
HUGS!!! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will definitely be doing a lot of that in 2018.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That you can maintain that level of bitterness for so long is . . . awefulsome.
LikeLike
Now that is a word. I hope you have trademarked that word, so no one else steals, well besides me anyways.
LikeLike
Keep up the bitter work!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The bitter work continues, even though it is a toil.
LikeLike
Haha! I really like your way of writing, you have undeniable Humor. Your wife’s present is in the basement Incase you forgot ;p
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my gosh, or course that is where it is. Now I just need to figure out which room in the basement…
LikeLiked by 1 person
The tricky thing about bitterness is there is bitter-funny (Bitter Ben) and there is bitter-nasty (too many others). The tipping point between the two balances on a razor’s edge.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I play with the tipping point all the time. I honestly want to beat people sometimes, but toe that line by writing posts about them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Congratulations! (On the pizza, I mean.)
Oh … that that 1000 blog post thing is pretty cool, too. Keep up the good work!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, the pizza is the only thing I finish because my kids are always leaving me the crusts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dipping sauces have revolutionized the consumption of pizza crusts. Sometimes they are even better than the actual pizza.
LikeLike
I know. Like the cheesy bites etc. If I could just sit around all day and eat pizza and crusts, that would be great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s what we all aspire to.
LikeLike
I don’t about everyone. I know some complete weirdos that actually aspire to do things once they retire. I’m like why? Doing things is for non-retired people.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. I am looking forward to sitting around and doing nothing. Everyone keeps trying to tell me that I will be bored. And I reply, “Yes. Exactly.”
LikeLike
I know. Bored is good. And why would I worry about taking care of myself? I am old.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Congrats on the 1000 milestone – that’s impressive bitterness, something to be even more bitter about? 🎉🌟😜🌟🎉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes, I’ve just barely scratched the surface of my bitterness.
LikeLiked by 1 person