If I were declared king for a day, that would be a little weird because I don’t think I want to live in the UK, or other places where there was a king, but my first declaration would be that my kingly salary would continue after I was king, then resign, and go off to an expensive suburb where people are hypnotized into not knowing who I was. Wow, what a day that would be. But I’m only working 8 hours that day, because family/life balance right? And also my commute better not be more than 45 minutes and that includes getting into the limo. That being said, enjoy your Bitter Friday Giftures.
Oh gosh, I just realized as king, I might have to watch soccer…
…hopefully this would be the entertainment.
Who needs roundabouts…
…when you are king, shortest distance is a straight line.
When you are king…
…no one is really afraid of you.
Talk about ghosting…
…even ghosts get to have filters nowadays.
In the royal palace…
…you have moose guarding you from renegade vacuum cleaners.
And Shamu there…
…to take out any paparazzi.
The transportation…
…is top notch.
Now that is a great use for Photoshop…
…as a king I demand you do this for my entertainment.
Also if you could keep the temperature…
…here, I would love to watch skaters go under.
And we are going to need this things…
…at the Beningham Palace.
Let’s make sure Slash…
…is playing during Congress meetings or whatever.
Ah yes, and most important…
…I’m going to need the backfire pranks.
Well, it was fun for a while, but after being king for a day, I realized that it was only being used for my amusement and money. So since the salary is continuing and the amusement I can provide for myself, I am stepping down as you king. Besides there is only so much soccer I can watch.
ARRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter King Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
If, by any chance, you get named King of Denmark… Can you pass on the Royal stick and crown to me when you resign, please?
I would probably suck as a queen, but if I can get myself a double citizenship before they kick me off the throne, it’ll be worth trying! 😛
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Sure thing. I got no time for being a king, unless it involves napping a lot and playing the royal video games. Yeah, I can do that.
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Thank you!! *going to shop for a Queen tiara thing* Whoooo hoooooooo!!
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Sure thing. I hope you choose one from a Disney movie, because that is about all that they have in their movies.
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Most probably… isn’t there where all the Princesses, and Queens shop? I’ll stay away from Cinderella’s shoes though! Unless she changed her glass slippers for Louboutin or something like that!
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Who wants to ride around in a rotten pumpkin anyways. I can barely stand the scent of pumpkin spice anything.
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That first one…I’ve been known to do something similar to the people sitting by me in theaters while watching scary movies! 😮
HUGS!!! 😛
PS…thanks for the laughs! 😀
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I bet people love going to scary movies with you. Kind of like people love working with me, cause I’m so bitter.
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Ha! Very similar, I’m sure! 😀
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I’ve never been a big scary movie kind of person. Not that I always need a happy ending, but those movies are always putting a depressing ending and then I wonder why we even sat through them.
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Watch soccer? Sunglasses… that way when you fall asleep for a bitterly needed nap, it should go largely unnoticed. Not like anything was going to happen, anyway.
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I think it would be a little too obvious that I was napping. Because I would be laying down and snoring.
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Found I *can* sleep sitting. But the snoring might be a problem.
Or not, “It was ROYALLY BORING! What did you expect?”
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Sleep sitting, sleep laying, sleep on my head, I can do all of that.
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I thought kings played polo? Or maybe it is only princes. It seems it would get pretty boring just sitting around on a throne all day with nothing to do.
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I know, that is why I abdicated the throne so easily. I just want the benefits, not all the responsibilities.
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Polo is a strange ‘sport’ – it was invented as a way to train warhorses in ‘bad’ manners. That is, behavours bad in normal times, but demanded in war. Hrmm.. yeah.. something for Princes. Kings are best held back some.
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We used to have one of those lawn bots…..I named him Luigi. God I miss him…..sigh.
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Awesome, because Luigi sucked out ghosts in that haunted mansion huh?
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That sounds like the beginning of a modern day Scooby-Doo.
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It is actually the plot of a video game called Luigi’s Mansion. But it would totally work with Scooby Doo too.
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I needed this… especially the snapchat ghost.
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Oh my gosh, that ghost was awesome. The look on her face was gold.
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I laughed out loud at so many of these! I still can’t believe the guy who jumped off the bench AFTER he was almost mowed down by the van!
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You will probably have to watch it over and over again to see if he changes his mind. I loved the shovel guy. He had me dying last night.
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