Big time rebel right here.
Ever since I was young, I had a little bit(ter) of a rebellious streak in me. I’ve always had an issue with authority because I don’t like people telling me what to do. I’ve never had a boss I didn’t want to rebel against, a parent or authority figure that liked to tell me what to do, that I didn’t try to ignore.
So, when November comes along and tells me that I have to start wearing a coat, or putting on snow tires, or turning on the heat, I start chafing against it. It’s not that I won’t do some of those things (the snow tires I will not), but I despise November bossing me around.
For some reason, November is a time for causes. NaNoWriMo(National Novel Writing Month) this and NaBloPoMo(National Blog Post Month) that. No-Shave November. This sounds an awful lot like November is bossing me around. Telling me I have to write 1655 words a day. Writing a blog post every single day. That I can’t shave this whole month.
Good luck with that, November. I might not shave many of those days, but I’m going to shave at least once. I might blog a lot of the days of the month, but not all 30. And I might just churn through a novel, edit it, and sell it millions of non-adoring fans, but I’m going to do it in February. DO NOT tell me which month I have to do it in.
And by the way, how dare you choose November to do all these things. I’ve got enough on my plate right now with the lazy naps on the Nov. 23rd and 24th. I’ve got several shows that I need to watch, and basketball season is upon us. Turkey is gonna give me some tryptophan later this month, and I’ve got Black Friday and relatives to complain about. With all these non-productive activities planned, how do you expect me to do productive things this month?
One of the non-productive things I plan to do this month.
Because I’m a jerk and don’t listen to anyone(including myself), I’ve decided to start my own thing for November. I’m going to start a thing where every single day, we tell someone no. We shall call it NoWayImGoodBro. Starting today, we are going to say no to someone. Go ahead and make a list, put it in your planner, create a spreadsheet, set a reminder in your phone. However you like to check off your progress, this is the day to start doing it.
Someone want to make you go shopping? NoWayImGoodBro.
Someone need a ride to work? NoWayImGoodBro.
Someone ask you to follow them on Twitter, Facebook, their blog? NoWayImGoodBro.
Want to come to my party? NoWayImGoodBro.
Okay, not even to my Thanksgiving? NoWayImGoodBro.
Can you cover my shift so I can go to…NOWAYIMGOODBRO.
Look people. You spend all the rest of the months saying yes to people. People pleasing, boss and family obeying, obligation doing. Do that other months. This is the month to tell people how you really feel. No, I don’t want to fight traffic today. No, I don’t want to drive in early in the snow, bro. No, I do not like your nails. Nope, your haircut is bad. No, I do not want to marry you.
It doesn’t take much to start your NoWayImGoodBro November journey. It just takes replacing three little letters (yes) with two smaller letters (NO). After all, doesn’t November start with NO?
ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
Bitter November Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I was going to comment on your post the day you published it, but I stayed strong, said no, and held off until today. Saying no has never been easier (except when I refuse to answer my phone, which is pretty much all the time).
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I hate answering my phone too. I pretty much treat it like my portable computer and texter. I deleted the phone app. Useless.
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Putting the ‘No’ back in November — who can be bitter about that.
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Well, I can find something bitter in everything, but saying no sure is kind of a fun thing for me to say.
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NoWayI’mGoodBro is exactly what I need this month.
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Wow, you are the first one that actually hasn’t told me no for bossing them around. Thanks.
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Stop-tober, No-vember … when does the fun start? Dis-member?
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Probably in January when all the snow depresses me.
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good post
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Thanks.
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Love your posts, as always! It all stems from childhood sigh. Wipe the toilet seat, walk the dog, factor this equation. As one gets older, I find, a delicious anger of righteousness rears its head time and again. Sometimes you can let it subside, other times . . . Like yourself probably, anger is the engine that propels me – I mean it even hones my creativity. I LIKE my righteous anger and though society says to throw a blanket over it and listen to spa music. So many things to get angry about, so little time!
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I know. As is evidenced by my 900+ blog posts, there are definitely things to be angry about.
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Track my progress?? Nowayimgoodbro
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Yeah, who needs to know what your progress is anyways?
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Brilliant! I’m in the No-whatever movement! I just told the cat she couldn’t have her usual evening meal, and I am waiting for my boss to try to, well, boss me around…. I was about to sit back and catch up on the posts I missed on your blog but you know what? NoWayIm…. Nah, I’ll read them anyway 🙂
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The thing is that you have to start with telling me no, because I’m used to it, but then that will give you the drive to say no to everyone.
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No I won’t! Stop telling me what to do, Bitter-dictator Ben! 😉
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You will pay attention to me or I will send you to your room! And you won’t get a raise in your allowance either.
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NO! NO NO NO NOOOOOOO! NO!
(that’s what happens when your blog has just reached the terrible two! :P)
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That is what happens when my blog is the older 5 year old brother and feels the need to discipline you for it.
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Mouahahahahaha I see it a privilege for my blog to consider yours as its big bitter brother!
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Yeah, I am the older brother who ignores the younger brother, because he thinks his younger brother is a little clingy. Oh, wait never mind, that is my real life younger brother.
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LOL Ohhhhh That’s why my little brother used to bite me and my friends in the back (litterally, not making this up :P) “Just” because I was ignoring him?? Mouahahaha
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Whoa, you gota bitter(uh, biter) in your family huh? One of those Lemony Snickets situations huh?
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Oh yeah…. I am glad he stopped now! Now he just pulls my hair! I am thinking about shaving my head, just to annoy him 😛
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That would be awesome. Totally get him back.
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I wonder how many Bic disposable razors would be required to get a really neat job done… I’ll let you know! Maybe I can apply as Mr Clean’s Bitter wife, and make tons of money from the commercials… Making this extra annoying to little bro!
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Yeah, that would be awesome if you could be Mr. Clean’s wife. He takes care of the cleaning and cooking, you just need to go to work and stay cleanly shaven.
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Wait…. This is starting to sound like therapy…. you sneaky bitter fraud! Tell me your hourly fee before I run up a bill, and I have to sell Freja to pay it back!
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I am a bitter fraud. And also my fee is $50 an hour. Just don’t tell the BBB(Bitter Business Bureau) about my fraudulent business.
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I hope you have a Paypal account, because Canada Post service sucks and I wouldn’t want to have to come pay in person everytime I need to complain about the little bro….
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My wife has PayPal, which could be dangerous, because then she will spend all the money you send us. Crap, should have thought about that. I do have a Venmo though.
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I am a bit tired at the moment… But as soon as I have the energy for it, I’ll search The Internets to know what Venmo is. I wouldn’t want my lack of sanity resulting in you having to deal with an overload of fancy shoes in every corner of your house!
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It is owned by PayPal and just another way to easily and safely transfer money, just like PayPal.
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Best November thing I’ve heard of so far.
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Yeah, I think it is time to start hashtagging it and making it a thing on Twitter.
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Gosh, I think you have set a new record for bitterness with this one. The only reason I hate November is because people start getting the early Christmas crazies, which drives me nuts.
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Yep, as soon as the pumpkins and Halloween decorations are down, it is Christmas time for many. And they are probably bitter that the Halloween stands in their way.
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I do like the idea of NO-vember, but like you, I also dislike being told what to do. It is a conundrum, I think (I’m too lazy to look it up right now). What are these naps you speak of? I think I need some of those!
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These naps I speak of are thing that I take whenever I have a chance. Whether it is while entering spreadsheets or listening to one of my kids tell me about their day. Gotta get them in whenever, whether it is considered rude or not.
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If I get caught napping at my work, I get walked out and three unpaid days off. Not to mention potentially falling into a really painful machine. I gotta get me one of them there spreadsheet jobs. They sound perfect for napping on.
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Yeah, why would you work near a painful machine? That sounds too loud and dangerous.
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It is loud but not very dangerous. Only if I fell into it. Oh well, I guess it’s given me bruises when I bumped into it. I’m clumsy. It’s really not a bad job as jobs go.
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Can’t stand the loud machines. And I’m glad you were able to avoid being dropped into the machine and only obtained bruises.
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Comment ? NoWayImGoodBro. Ready for 35degs?/NoWayImGoodBro. Thanksgiving?/NoWayImGoodBro. OMGChristmas?/NoWayImGoodBro. Cool site ? Yes ! Thanks for finding me ? NoWayImGoodBro. HA !
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I agree on the comment. I’m definitely not going to comment on other people’s sites when they tell me to. Question. What is 35degs? NoWayImGoodSis for the ladies?
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Comment ? NoWayImGoodBro. I meant I don’t have to comment ’cause I completely agree with your post. I’ve been trying to say NO for a while ~ sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t.
Ready for 35degs?/NoWayImGoodBro. I am NOT ready for winter. We’ve had temp’s in the 30’s on and off for a few days ~ and I am not ready for winter at all.
Thanksgiving?/NoWayImGoodBro. OMGChristmas?/NoWayImGoodBro. I’m not ready for Turkey Day or Christmas Day at all ~ where did the summer go?
Cool site ? Yes ! Your site is a cool site !
Thanks for finding me ? NoWayImGoodBro. HA ! Just saying thanks for finding me ~ thanks, Kate
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Got it. I was really smart and didn’t figure out what 35 Degrees meant. I’m a little slow. And I’m just going to say no to the cold coming too. NoWayImGoodBro.
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You’re right! We should be rebellious this month. I think I’ll start the rebellion by doing the opposite of what you’ve suggested here and keeping my opinions to myself.
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You are such a rebel. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone else kept their opinions to themselves? Then we would get all kinds of not made at each other.
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Absolutely! I would love to agree with all you said, but then who would I have to say NoWayImGoodBro to? I can defo give a big NoWayImGoodBro to shaving any body part above my shoulders. At least not for another – oh, 30 years or so. NoWayImStillFemaleBro.
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You’ve got all kinds of people you can tell no to. Like your husband. My wife tells me no all the time. And I only ask for big things like TV’s and video game stuff and phones. It’s not like she has a good reason or anything. I’m sure you have a lot of things you could tell your husband no on.
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Way to show November who the real boss is! 😄
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Yeah, the real boss is my wife. I don’t ever tell her no. And her birthday is in November. Uh, well, I guess No but not every day.
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I’m in! Let’s see if we can get #NoWayImGoodBro trending! I would not be surprised or offended if your response was – NoWayImGoodBro!
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Alright. Sounds good. How do we get something trending again? I assume we just call Twitter and Facebook and let them know.
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Something like that!
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I assume it is going viral as we speak.
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So true. And starting today I have 4 birthdays to celebrate and 2 are on Thanksgiving! I have already said my No for today. When asked to purchase fund raising junk. I just said no. She asked why!!! I said mysteriously…I’d rather not say and walked away. Take that November!
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Good. So someone is following my advice. Never thought that would happen. It would really be funny if you told the person, “Because this bitter blogger told me so. That’s why.” And then proceed to tell everyone yes from then on. Because you don’t listen to anyone, even me.
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No.
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Way to replace that pesky yes with a big fat NO.
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No, I will not leave a comment.
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Finally, someone is listening to me. By not listening to me. Or…uh, just do what you want.
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Because you’re the first person this month to tell me to do something, I will do the opposite and I will not tell you no, and go ahead and tell others no instead.
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Thankfully, I beat everyone to the punch. It is the best way to get people to do stuff for you. If you are last to tell someone to do something, it has to be better than everyone else’s ideas.
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