The Bitter Transforming Pizza

/ bensbitterblog

Why we should have Halloween off.

There is something I have never understood about Halloween. It is one the biggest in this country, where I’ve heard the most money is spent, and somehow it isn’t really a holiday? At least from what I have heard, a holiday consists of me getting the day off. And as long as I can remember, even going back to my school days, the only time we have ever got Halloween off is when it is on a Saturday or a Sunday. That is what I call a weekend, and most people get those off. How is it that a “Holiday” that essentially starts the first week of September for some people, managed to not make it on the holiday schedule? Just a thought.

On Saturday, our church had their annual Trunk or Treat, which is a just another excuse to give kids more candy and me have to give away more. It has managed  one of those holidays. If you haven’t heard of one, it is just where the parents of the church put their cars in a parking lot and decorate their trunks and kids can easily go around to each car and Trick or Treat. It’s more convenient, it is usually in the daytime and it makes it easier for young kids to Trick or Treat, cause their parent don’t have to haul them house to house.

After my son and I went to his first college football game, we hurried home to get dressed up in our outfits. Shockingly, I decided to be a slice of pizza. There may be only one other thing you could think of that would be more obvious for me, but Target didn’t have any couch costumes. Since I was already wearing a Transformers hat, I decided that I was a Transforming Pizza Slice.

Yep, just like this except not.

This makes sense because when the whole point of Transformers is that they are robots in disguise. When they came to earth, they took the form of familiar cars, trucks, planes, etc. So it would make total sense that I would transform into something that is in disguise, and it also something that I am very familiar with.

It made me wonder what other people would change themselves into if they were a Transformer.

I don’t know if you have a teenager, but if you do, you probably know that they are about one thing, and one thing only. Well, a few things. Instagram, Snapchat, Musical.ly, YouTube, and texting. But all of those things are contained on one thing, and that is their phone. If they were to lose their phone (like my daughter did for one night this weekend as a punishment), it would almost be like us cutting her arm off. They literally can’t even without their phones and don’t know what to do with their hands without it. That’s not to say I do either, but at least their was a time in my life where I did do without one, and somehow I managed.

So I’m guessing if teenagers couldn’t have their phone, they would at least want to transform into one so they could help another teenager out.

Transforming into something even dorkier.

How about famous people? At first, I bet they would relish in the opportunity to transform into a regular person, with all their privacy privileges. You know, so they could go to a grocery store, a restaurant or a sporting event, without being mobbed by others for their autographs or to get a picture with them. But I also bet they would appreciate the chance to change back into their famous form again, because they would miss the attention after a while. They would miss the snapping and flashing of camera’s. They would miss people adoring them for their little talent they have. They would miss people giving them lots of money and free gifts.

If you had a choice to be able to transform into something like the Transformers do, what would your second form be? What disguise or change would you like to make?

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Transforming Pizza Ben

34 thoughts on “The Bitter Transforming Pizza”

        • Ha, no–I wish! We’re all good, just busy and I’m still getting the hang of this whole parenting deal (Kindergarten edition). Glad to hear from you too–I need to catch up 🙂

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        • I feel for you on the parenting thing. Is it Bronte that is in Kindergarten? That should be a riot. Anyways, my two kids are at a great age. My daughter is 13, and my son 10 and we can leave them at home for hours, and go where we want. My daughter is close to the edge of possibly hating me soon, but it is nice to be able to leave them at home. Good luck with yours!

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        • Yes! Brontë is in kindergarten and her little sister just turned 4. So far, I find parenting more fun the older they get (especially after they start talking) but that may turn around when they hit high school…

          I didn’t know you had a son! I’m guessing 20 is a good age—I’m looking forward to 7-12 because they’re so developed and independent but probably still like their parents, lol.

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        • Yeah, it is a pretty awesome age. My daughter could be in her room for days and wouldn’t even notice we are gone and my son can do the Xbox for hours with his buddies and wouldn’t know we were gone. It’s definitely better than the having to deal with the walking talking thing.
          Yeah, I have a son. He is part black and he is adopted. It’s kind of a great story. My wife should write a story about it someday.

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        • Wow, that does sound like a good story… I’d be interested in reading it if your wife write something about it.

          Sheesh, kids are not about moderation, are they? For the first few years, they want you EVERY SECOND and you can’t finish a sentence or pee by yourself and then suddenly, they wouldn’t miss you for days. Eh, they say that kids being independent is a good sign that you’e parented them correctly, but this hot & cold deal is ridiculous… lol.

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        • I agree. They are never happy with their personalities. It’s like they are bipolar.

          Yeah, my wife keeps telling me that she will write it, but she keeps telling me she is busy raising kids. Guess she has a point. You know the deal.

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        • Heh, I definitely do. I’m always trying to raise them and document it… hopefully they get a huge kick out of it later.

          I’d recommend it, mostly because you forget all the stuff that happens. Already, I’ll reread a post from a year ago and have totally forgotten something funny they said— in another decade it’ll be gone!

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        • HA! It must be cool but embarrassing for them… they’ve already been in the paper for the blog. If they start giving me crap in junior high, I should threaten to collate some essays into a kindle book, lol…

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  4. I’d transform into a younger version of myself so that I look on the outside the way I feel on the inside. Then I can act goofy and no one can say, “Aren’t you too old for that?”

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  6. I’d transform into a vase filled with flowers. Sitting on whatever table, I’d then have the opportunity to see what went on around me, like I had eyes in the back of my head. People would forget that I’m there, become their true selves, and I’d know all about them. Like a spy. Or like a novelist looking to create quirky characters. 😉

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