I’m not a big fan of mystery movies, because the ending is usually pretty stupid. The killer was usually someone you suspected from the very beginning, but they just made other people look slightly guilty somehow. Or the ending is super lame because if you just knew one thing, you would have figured it out from the very beginning. Or the mystery was made of completely unrealistic things.
Everyone loves a mystery.
Last night my wife purchased some Mystery Oreo’s. Wow, I thought. Finally a mystery I could dig my mouth parts into. So I wasn’t sure what the mystery would be, whether it would be the color, or the flavor, or if every one would be a different color. And I wouldn’t for a little while. We had to go away for a little while. The mystery would have to be a mystery for a little while longer. And let’s be honest. That is what some people like about mysteries. The thought that they have to wait to find out what the unknown is.
I was patient, but only because I had the distraction of my favorite thing to eat. Pizza. I can hold off just about anything when it comes to pizza. So we dined and drank and feasted on the pizza and went somewhere else for a while.
When we got back, my son finally saw the mystery Oreo’s. He is less patient than anyone I know and proclaimed, “We got Oreo’s? Can I open them? Wait, what are mystery Oreo’s?”
My wife gave in and let him open them. I was a little curious, but would wait until he tasted them.
One bite and he got this face. Scrunched up eyebrows, wrinkled nose, squeezed mouth.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It tastes…like orange.”
“Orange? That isn’t one of their flavors!”
My wife said, “Orange and chocolate don’t go well together!”
Exactly.
I’m sure the next one will be better.
My wife tastes a second one.
“Orange! Gross! We need to return these! That isn’t right!”
Oreo’s just pulled off the best marketing job ever. Not really. Others have done this before, but this is my guess what happened here.
Some Oreo employee: The boss says we need a new Oreo flavor. Hey, we’ve tried all the other flavors. How about we try orange.
Some other Oreo employee: Yeah, good idea. I can’t think of any other flavor either. Oh, how about orange double stuff.
First Oreo employee: Great idea, let’s do it.
Later…
Oreo flavor girl: Here is the orange flavor. It’s terrible. What do you think?
Oreo taster with a cold: It’s fine. Send it on the line! Double up the creme!
The next day….
Oreo taster finally over his cold: Oh gross, what is this?
Oreo flavor girl: That is the orange creme you said was good yesterday!
Oreo taster over his cold: I had a cold yesterday. Why didn’t you tell me!
Oreo flavor girl: I did, you idiot!
Oreo taster over his cold: Oh crap, I’m gonna get fired. We have 80 tons of this stuff!
Oreo flavor girl: Talk to marketing. They can figure something out.
Oreo Marketing Team after days of deliberation: Oh hey, what about uh, Airheads, they do that mystery flavor. Maybe we should do that for this orange crap.
Oreo Marketing Manager: Genius. Everyone loves a mystery. Tell manufacturing right away.
And thus, these crappy Mystery Oreo’s were born.
So, if ask me for my review of the mystery Oreo’s, they are crap and should be melted down into a fiery furnace or burned at the stake, or drowned in the depths of the deep blue milk. Rest in bitterness, mystery Oreo’s.
ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Mystery Oreo Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Orange in a dark chocolate can be good, but in an oreo that just some gross trash that you should stay away from. Gotta hand it to oreo for their ruse to get people to buy them though. 😉
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Seriously, I believe they finally revealed the flavor and it was fruit loops. So gross. I wonder who won the $50,000?
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I have say, the only weird flavor I liked was Chocolate Pringles. Strangely good, and never saw them again. But ORANGE Oreos…no, thanks!
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I know for sure they still have those chocolate lays. My wife gets them every year for Christmas.
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hilarious and another reason I don’t go down the junk food lane at the grocery 😉
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I love the junk food lane. I just wish those gross tasting Oreo’s didn’t infect the sugary stuff with the gross stuff.
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Soy flavored with a hint of Delta catfish for the win, Alex.
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I bet if you guessed that flavor you would probably win. I look forward to seeing you on the billboard with the $50,000 dollars.
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The taster with the cold. Love this.
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Yeah, that guy should have gone home. He really ruined Oreo’s as we know. I might not be able to go back to eating Oreo’s again. Thanks a log Mystery Oreo’s.
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I have learned to NEVER buy anything labelled “while supplies last ONLY, Mystery….ANYTHING” Always chalk THAT one up to factory error with creative marketing appeal! LOVE the story!….
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I would say the same thing, except I love Airheads, and I just happen to have the mystery flavor on my desk right now, courtesy of my son’s candy stash from last night. I guess I’m just a sucker for Mysteries.
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When i was in the UK earlier my Daughter asked me to bring her back a Chocolate orange as they were her favorites.No accounting for taste 🙂
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I know right? Some people and their orange chocolates.
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Orange and chocolate are a match made in heaven!! Send them all to me!!
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I will send them to you no problem. They are the worst.
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When we buy regular (or double stuffer) Oreo cookies, they are usually gone in a day or two, These mystery cookies have been in the house for over two weeks and the first row isn’t even gone. There’s no mystery, They suck! Why not eat a regular oreo and then drink some orange juice, Yuk!
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I know, it is the same way at our house. We cram the bags of double stuff in less than a day, but those Mystery Oreo’s are dying of old age around here.
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Ben, when you consider the injustices and humiliation we average citizens–bitter and non-bitter–we endure daily, Mystery Oreos surpasses them all. The madness must stop. And it stops here…on your blog. Well done. It takes tremendous integrity to take on the industrial food complex you’re just the guy to poison yourself for the good of the rest of us. Just make sure you don’t butt-dial the Nabisco CEO. Otherwise, you can expect a massive shipment of their latest culinary debacle.
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I know. It is probably my responsibility to send the Nabisco CEO my blog post and make him answer some questions. Because as you say, it is one of the most pressing issues that America faces today.
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You’ve never had one of those dark chocolate oranges that you smash on a surface and it breaks into little orange “slices”?? They were a Christmastime staple in my house as a kid:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry's_Chocolate_Orange
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Oh yeah, I’ve had them and I don’t like them one bit. I know people seem to like them, but I find them gross. But if you ask the readers of this blog, I would probably be outnumbered.
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I wouldn’t know if I asked because I totally missed the earlier comment where someone already pointed these out to you…with the same Wikipedia link 😂
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I know. But I was too lazy to go and click on the link. Also I’ve had those things and I still didn’t like them.
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To be fair, I don’t think I would want an orange Oreo. Those Christmas oranges are about as far as I’m willing to let the chocolate/Orange partnership go.
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Agreed. Now I’m being told they aren’t even orange. Some people say fruit loops or some weird flavor like that. All I know is that they are gross.
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Orange and chocolate… wow… as if they could have come up with something that could have been a little more displeasing to the taste buds… XD The mystery Oreo’s, although a mistake, wasn’t the best mistake there was like the potato chip or the waffle cone. Hope that these guys can think of something better to replace these orange-chocolate cookies.
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Yeah, they owe us something better. And it better not be the stupid pumpkin spice that they are putting in everything else. It better be a new flavor they invent that tastes so revolutionary, that people fight tooth and nail to have.
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The Mystery Oreos do not taste like oranges to me. It has more of a fruity taste.
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All I know is that it was not good. Oreos should be ashamed of themselves and stop trying to package that stuff into something we buy.
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One of my colleagues was just telling me about the apple Oreos she got. They’re in the trash. Just because you CAN, Oreo, doesn’t mean you SHOULD.
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Seriously. Gross. Why do they have to waste a seriously good cookie by putting stupid creme flavoring.
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They were probably aiming for strawberry flavor and accidently added too many drops of whatever chemical flavor they were using. A chemist and a baker are making out next to the crème vat… it’s a mystery.
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Yeah, that engineer should be toast. And the marketing guy should be promoted.
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I don’t care! I must try them! Are they all orange? Like every cookie? Every package? Never mind! I’ll find out myself!
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You can have ours. We aren’t eating them. Perhaps we will send them your way.
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It’s still better than those Harry Potter jelly beans. I pity the poor sod who had to confirm that the earwax flavored jelly beans actually tasted like earwax. Although I suspect the person who did that probably had some weird acquired taste for earwax, so who knows?
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Oh yeah, those every flavored beans. I have tried the grass clippings and they are the worst. My kids liked playing the Bean Boozled game and they always got me to try the crappy ones.
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There’s really nothing better than classic Oreos…like classic Coke. I have had good dark chocolate truffles with orange and lemon that are awesome, but orange Oreos? Ummm…no. Someone is getting over-zealous with the flavored Oreos.
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I know. As much creme filling as you want, but quite trying to flavor them weird flavors.
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Oreo orange cream sound awful. But I feel I must disagree with your wife. Chocolate and orange go quite well together, if you have the correct combination.
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Everyone keeps saying that. I’m not sure what everyone did to damage their tongues, but they can’t, they just can’t. Either that or my tongue is damaged.
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I agree! Why ruin a perfectly good Orea?
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I mean Oreo, sorry!
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Orea must be the female version.
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Yes, that’s for sure what I meant…:-)
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Totally what you meant for sure.
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Yeah, just stick with creme and more creme. Triple stuff and don’t skimp on the creme.
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My thought exactly, Ben. Oreo was capitalizing on a mistake. Like Dum-Dum suckers that mix together all the tail end leftovers and make a Mystery Flavor… you can never tell what it’s supposed to be anyway, like, watermelon-butterscotch? Eeeewww. 🙂
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I can only imagine being the marketing guy and going, ‘Sweet!’ we can spin this, by copying other people’s stuff.
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Gross. But, were they ALL the orange flavor? If so, your hypothesis would be proven true; if not, I wonder what other mistakes were included.
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Yeah, they were all orange, at least all of the ones in our package. I think they are having a contest to try and guess the flavor, so I’m guessing they are all the same. Also, I should have put a spoiler warning. Oops.
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Gross. I appreciate the spoiler!
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Yeah, sorry. I should have probably given warning before told everyone the bad flavor.
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I kind of like the taste of chocolate and orange. My wife gets these dark chocolate bars with orange flavoring at the Whole Foods Market and they’re actually quite tasty. That said, I’ve never had an orange cream-filled Oreo and have no intention of trying one.
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I just don’t understand how people like chocolate and orange. I guess people like that for some reason. But yeah, we are going to try to return them, because Oreo’s are supposed to be a joy, not a pain.
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And I’m not a fan of chocolate and peanut butter (e.g., Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups) even though I like them individually. Different stokes for different folks, I guess.
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Wow, that is a different stroke. I may not be the biggest fan of the Reese’s (especially when they get a little older) but chocolate and peanut butter together are pretty clutch.
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I’m with you. I don’t like the combination at all.
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Finally, someone that agrees with me. Crazy people.
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Good, I’m glad I’m not the only one who is not into peanut butter and chocolate together.
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They do sound pretty gross…
But I can’t agree that orange and chocolate don’t go together. Did you ever have a chocolate orange at Christmas? Those things are delicious!
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I did try chocolate with oranges and I did not like. Apparently many people agree with you on this. I guess I’m the weirdo here.
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It’s not really chocolate with organge. It’s more like a orange flavored chocolate. Like this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry%27s_Chocolate_Orange
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As long as the chocolate completely drowns out the orange and makes it taste like 3 Musketeers or Reese’s, I’m totally down for that.
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How dare they mess with Oreo’s! I have to tell you though my favorite cake is orange cake with chocolate frosting…sooo good!
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How could you? You don’t mix orange with chocolate. Fruit and chocolate don’t mix.
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Oh? Dip a dried apricot slice in chocolate…wow!
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Oh my gosh, why are you trying to offend my tongue so?
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O, for heavens sakes, where is your sense of adventure. How about strawberries dipped in chocolate… soooo gooood.
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I have no sense of adventure. I sit on the couch all day remember?
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Oh yeah, have an Oreo.
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Fine I will have an Oreo, but it isn’t going to be the stupid orange ones. It better be double stuff or more.
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I love the orange filling. It makes a little less bitter about Halloween.
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I’m okay with the filling being orange as long as it doesn’t taste like orange. I got the opposite. I got the white cream and it tasted orange.
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O, that’s bitter!
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O-reo it is bitter.
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