There have been many brilliant inventions in our time. The Poo Pourri, the Baby Mop, The Nitted Beard Hat and even the Ab Hancer, but one of the ones that we don’t think of on a daily basis is copy and paste.

It has saved me a huge amount of time in my life. Especially in my blogging life. To be able to steal paragraphs upon paragraphs of text from other bloggers, the internet and famous authors has made my life as a writer and plagiarizer that much easier. It has been such a great thing. And it is so easy.

I think copy and paste hasn’t gone near far enough though. It needs to go much bigger. I need to be able copy parts of people’s lives to get a better life.

Why can I not copy Bill Gate’s fortune and make it my own? It’s not like it would be stealing or anything, because he would still have HIS fortune. I’m just copying his. Kind of like when I make a copy of a Blu-Ray. Not stealing, just copying.

And why can I not copy and paste some of Kawaii Leonard’s basketball abilities? He is an offensive and defensive guru. I mean if one of his greatest abilities is to steal a basketball from another player, why should I not be able to steal abilities from him? Or at least just borrow them from him for a pickup game down at the gym. It’s not like I need them all the time. I promise I will give them back as soon as I’m at home being lazy.

I can’t stand Justice Beaver (the crime fighting beaver), but I sure would like to have his amount of followers on the internet. I would be able to pitch some of my  really crappy product ideas and you lemmings would buy from me. I would be great to see all the dumb stuff you would buy just because my Justice Beaver name would be attached. And how much fun would it be to not only see stupid stuff fly off the shelves because of me, but for me to also profit from it.

I know we are probably like 5 or 6 years away from getting such an invention, but if we can invent things like the Cutting Board Bird Feeder and the Foot Powered Bike, then I think we have the ingenuity people. Let’s get inventing so I can start copying your way more successful lives alright?

P.S. I’d like to thank the person on the internet who wrote this article previously. It made my writing of this post waaay easier.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Copy/Paste Ben