I used to tell dumb jokes when I was young. I also told dumb jokes yesterday. You see, I haven’t changed. Not one bit. Well I have expanded. My gut. And my back isn’t what it used to be. And my face is 10 times older than when I was four. But other than that, really haven’t changed much. Anyways, I thought I would start out today’s proceedings by telling a bad joke. Also as a side note, I am going to start reblogging a post every Saturday, so if you want me to consider you to reblog, make sure you do a good post. Or a bitter one. Or just tell me one that you want me to reblog and I will consider it. Otherwise, I will do it anyways, so you can’t stop me there. Oh, and I’m going to do something really old that I used to do about two years ago, next week. So get super pumped about that. Anyways, be bitter about these Friday Giftures…
Well…
…this was a catastrophe.
This ball is…
…pretty sensitive.
This dog got all caught up…
…in the pier pressure.
A cup of Joe in the morning…
the …makes Joe a little tipsy.
The Monday to Thursday crawl…
…just so you can get to Friday.
Run, run, as weird as you can…
…you can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Woman.
The Force is with you now…
…Lord Meowny.
Whenever I see pizza…
…that is supreme lover’s.
Whenever I am trying to match wits…
…with someone on Jeopardy.
When I introduce myself…
…at an interview.
When I’m trying to assemble a piece of furniture…
…from Ikea.
When I’m trying to show my kids…
…how cool I am.
I wish I had all kinds of funny bad jokes to tell you, but then I would be talking about your lives. OOOOOHHHHHH! Alright. Stay dry or cool or whatever this weekend, because you all seem to be having weather problems. Just keep them away from me.
ARRRRGGHHHH
Bitter Bad Jokes Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
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I’ll take you up on the reblogging offer should you decide to green light it (although the reblog option seems to have vanished in my admin settings; clearly some conspiracy is at work). To help balance things out, I’ll reblog one of your posts. I can’t promise you wide exposure, but I’m sure my five readers will enjoy your site.
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Sounds good, Sam. I will put you on the list for next week as I already had one scheduled this week. Is that cool?
To reblog I just go to a post and at the bottom where you have the likes and comments there is a reblog button.
Don’t worry, I’m good with any exposure. Except after I get out of the shower.
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That is very cool. If I may indulge in a moment of seriousness, thank you very much for doing this.
With that out of the way, I can’t wait to shamelessly promote myself.
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You may indulge. I live for shameless promotion. I even like to write my blog in chalk at the Red Robin, or on the paper tables at my daughter’s school dances.
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But who says the cat was’t trying to slide down the bannister? It could have been forethought…
The rest of them, not so much.
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I agree. That cat was totally trying to slide down those stairs. He knew he had at least 6 lives to go and thought it was worth a shot.
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If you consider the course of aging, your face has aged way more than 10 times what it was when you were four. Just thought I would leave you with that depressing thought for the weekend.
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I really enjoy your depressing thoughts. It adds to the bitterness and makes my weekends that much more fulfilling. Or full of bitterness.
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I actually laughed to all of these.
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I only choose ones that make me laugh, so I assume that they make other people laugh.
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