There is no better way to prepare for a weekend than trying to figure out why someone is stalking you. I’m not sure why anyone would want to stalk me, because my life is exceedingly dull and uninteresting, and all I have is this very famous blog as a platform, but for some reason this really famous person keeps sending me pictures and videos. You might have heard of her. Taylor Swift?
Jeez, Taylor, I’m married.
Chill, stalkerazzi.
Anyways, I suppose it is because she wants to be a part of the blog, but I’m not sure. People are always wanting to collaborate with me, because of my influence in the bitter blogging space. It’s just that I’m really busy this weekend laying on the couch and deciding which episode of the Office I’m going to binge. If any of you see Taylor, could you tell her that? And also, maybe you should tell her to like put out an album or something. Try to keep busy.
Let’s kick things off…
…with this little bike episode.
Then we can jump…
…to this pig race.
Then we can follow that up with this…
…day going downhill.
I almost hesitate to show…
…you this next one.
I’m sure this one…
…will backfire on me.
Who knows with Taylor Swift…
…maybe she will try to play a solo for me.
I hope Taylor’s new songs…
…don’t slip quickly on the charts.
I just hope that Kayne…
…let’s Taylor finish her album if that’s okay.
Some people just think…
…that the world revolves around them.
But as we know…
…some things don’t even revolve.
Some things we have to head off…
…before they get too crazy.
Somedays, we just got to admit…
…we don’t got it.
So what do you say, Taylor? Can you just admit that today just isn’t going to be your day? I wish I could help you, but you gotta find your own way in life. Time to stop living off of other people to make you famous. Try to do a little work yourself and stop leaching off of others.
ARRRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter Swift end to the Weekend Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Hey, these were extra special good gifs. I particularly liked the kids stopping at the finish line. You see sometimes you have to give instructions to newbies. Computer stores need to recognize this when old folks make purchases.
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I think if people were just as weary about a finish line, then Black Friday would a little less hectic.
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Taylor keeps contacting me and saying she wants to write a song about you, Ben…but to do that she must have a relationship with you. Oh, don’t worry…it won’t take up much of your time. She likes swift relationships. Just cooperate with her. So, she’ll quit bugging me.
đŸ˜‰ đŸ˜€
HUGS and Happy Whee-kend!!! đŸ˜›
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I’m all about people not annoying other people. So I will take one for the team, but not without getting a few autographed items and notoriety out of it. I will also make sure she writes a song with Bitter in the title thus giving me revenue for every time she sings it. (I have copywrited the word bitter.)
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HA! đŸ˜€
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Your just another notch on her lipstick case, Ben!
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I know. I assume she is going to sue me for reportedly viewing a video she sent me.
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OMG I just realized I spelled YOUR wrong! I. AM. HORRIFIED.
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I hate when I spell your wrong. I did it the other day and I can’t believe I did either. It was just another bitter day in the life.
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right! And tell her to bug off when I’m trying to stalk you!!
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I know. It is pretty hard to be stalked by so many bitter people. Luckily, I stay at home and avoid them. Unluckily, most people know exactly where to stalk me.
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Your blog makes you pretty visible.
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I know. Taylor is always trying to stalk me by creating an anonymous blog and then commenting.
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Hahaha that man with the bike! Hahaha, I can’t stop laughing, poor woman :’)))
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Not only did she fall off the bike, she got kicked. She definitely got the worst of it.
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That Taylor Swift…she is a pesty one.
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Yeah, and kind of snaky. I’m think your dog and cat need to capture that little snake.
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We’ll see what we can do.
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That’s all I ask.
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I have been most neglectful in my stalking duties, but you have to understand there are so many bitter men in the world and so little time.
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I know, but I should be your favorite bitter person. I at least make bitter better.
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You do make bitter better. đŸ™‚
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It’s my mission in life. That and laying on the couch all day, every day.
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