An ode to the screens in my life

/ bensbitterblog

We wake up to our screens.

From the moment I wake up my screen wakes up too. The moment I put the head to the pillow my screens sleep too.

This is an ode to my TV, my phone and my computer. We all have a combination of three in some manner.  You might replace the phone with a tablet, a laptop with a desktop, or a TV, with another larger TV. But we all have some combination of the three.

The white glow awakens me in the morning, no not the sun, but my cell phone.

The buzzing of new activity today excites me for another day. No, not the buzzing of bees hovering outside my window, but the twittering of Tweets I get from my phone about next big trend.

The latest buzz.

Good news travels fast about the wedding, no, not from bride or a groom sending me an invitation, or calling me on the phone, but a Facebook Event request on my laptop.

The commute to work goes way faster than it used to, not because of the wacky radio guys, but the antics of the newest find on Snapchat, that entertains me for the long commute.

I need to make a last second check to see if there is anything in my teeth. Not with my mirror, no not at all. I have to check my cell phone selfie mode to see if a hair is out of place, before I go into a big meeting with the boss.

An HR employee needs to check a reference on reference on a perspective employee, but she doesn’t pick up the phone to call a former supervisor, she pulls up his LinkedInstagram, Facebook and Twitter accounts.

Time to get to work. Write a new project proposal. Right after you read the latest blog post on Ben’s Bitter Blog.

A girl needs a friends advice on her make up regiment. She doesn’t ask her friend at school, no she seeks advice from her YouTube bestie and watches her latest tutorial on what new routines she can apply.

I wish it only took that little time.

A family is in desperate need to get out this weekend. They don’t watch vistas from a long hike in the wilderness, no, they seek to watch other people go on adventures in the latest movie on that vista we call a 4KTV.

A man who is seeking to get back in shape doesn’t go to a gym, oh no. He heads out to his living room, gets on his stationary bike and rides to new vistas recorded by some other adventurous soul.

It’s back to School time. Time to drag all 5 kids into the van, buckle them up, and find the 4 pairs of shoes, 12 shirts, 15 pairs of jeans, pencils, pens and markers to match their school list. No, not the to the mall. To the Amazon screen. Where shipping is free, buying is a click away, and the returns are way easier.

Time to read the kids a bedtime story. No, not with a book, but a Kindle. The screen glows to life, so you can read it much easier.

We no longer need our eyes to see the world. Just someone else’s camera. We don’t need to learn things from people, we have YouTube. We don’t need real live friends, all of them can be on our screen.

The best part? When one screen runs out of power, the next one up is ready to go.

Now get out there and experience the screen! Carpe Screenum!

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Screen Time Ben

30 thoughts on “An ode to the screens in my life”

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  3. Wow!!! So much reality and poetry all at once I think I took a screen shot of the part where you compared the sun to the lights on our phone screens and the buzzing of bees to the tweeting of the twitter bird!!! So clever!!!!!!

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  5. Screens are even good for screening out potential friends. In fact I’ve found my three screens to be so good at screening out potential friends, that I have no friends at all. No time for them. Must stare at my screens, instead.

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    • It all came to me when I first sat down when my wife and kids went to Seattle without me. The first thing I did when I sat down, was get my computer, my phone and my TV going. I’m guessing that everyone would surround themselves with that many screens if given the chance.

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