My son and I have had this nightly routine this summer. I get home from work and sweaty and sticky, because my car doesn’t have air conditioning. Around 5:30 pm, I throw my stuff everywhere, talk with the wife about our days, and just when I sit down and chill on my phone. Just when I get comfortable, he comes to me with bat and ball, or football in hand and says, “Dad, let’s go outside and play.”
I tell him no, he insists yes, I tell him no again, he insists again and we go on and on for about 45 minutes until I finally, bitterly relent. So most days, I throw him the ball and he hits it pretty far, and I have to chase it down. Because that is fair. I’m the old one, and the tired one, and the lazy one, and yet here I am chasing the ball down.
Yesterday for some reason, he hit three straight home runs. I’m not talking barely over the designated home run sidewalk, I’m talking like well beyond to the retaining wall for the clubhouse home runs. He misses a few, then cranks a few more. I’m starting to suspect something. He has been a little more aggressive lately, and for a 9 year old, he sure has a lot of zits and bacne. And the muscles he’s had in the last few days…hmmm, I don’t want to be too accusatory, but I’m starting to think…maybe it is time for Friday Giftures.
I’d like to say my reaction was something like this…
…but I had to chase them down, so no it wasn’t.
After he hit those home off me…
…he was pretty much like this.
And when he hit them…
…this was me trying to chase them down.
And this is how it felt…
…when he stole home.
And this is what it felt like…
…when he kept hitting them over and over.
And when he threw at me…
…it was a swing and a miss.
I tried to get a base on ball….
…oons, but that didn’t work.
When I tried to slide into first base…
…it was a little like this…actually a lot like this.
Just when I get home and start to get comfortable…
…”Dad you wanna go outside and play baseball?”
A hidden camera of me…
…pitching to him.
Just when I try to go inside…
…he pulls me back in.
And when it is all over…
…all I want to do is flip the flip out and lay on the couch.
So there you have it. The boy just does his best to make me look like a fool everyday, but what he doesn’t know is that I sabotage him and make MYSELF look like a fool. Tricks on him.
ARRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter Baseball Brand Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Such a cutie. How come adult humans never look cute when they fail at something? 😦
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That is a great question. I’m guessing because we aren’t supposed to failing that at adult age.
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Aww, that doggy ❤
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He had a little trouble going after the ball huh?
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I think that is so sweet–you playing catch with your son. Love it.
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He doesn’t think it is so sweet when he has to chase all the balls when I’m too lazy to get them.
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Pingback: Home run Bitter Giftures | World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum.
Wait, can we back up? Your car doesn’t have air conditioning? I think your kid needs to develop his lung capacity as much as his muscles and bacne. He needs to ride in the car with you and blow on you to keep you cool from now on.
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Yeah, I got the basest model Chevy Caliber and it was such a steal, that perhaps someone stole it’s air conditioning too. Anyways, yeah, sounds like he needs to use his breath to keep me cool. But most of the time I am in car, it is to go to work while he stays home and sleep.
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My kid is bullying me into Hi-Hi Cherry O right now. At least I’m inside?
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That is plain rude. Some kids are so mean.
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I hear it’s not that difficult.
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What isn’t that difficult?? Getting a Cheesebergen T-Shirt? You could have fooled me.
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Have you considered getting a dog that will fetch? Could save you a lot of work.
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I would but I’m not a big fan of dogs or animals for that matter. Too much messy clean up. Though my kids are pretty messy too. Is it too late to get rid of them?
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You know you’ll miss it when he’s older. Then you’ll be bitter thinking about the good old days. Lol 😉
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Yeah, when he is in the major leagues and he reflects in interviews about how he had to drag his dad out to play with him and his dad wouldn’t so he disavows all knowledge and money to me.
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Lol
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He’s definitely going to be loling at me.
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Actually it would be a more compelling story for TV if it was his mom who pitched to him everyday…after working double shifts in the sugar factory…while you sat on the sofa and spent all of her hard-earned wages playing fantasy football and World of Warcraft. And eating hot pockets and Totino’s.
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That would be even more compelling huh? It’s probably way closer to the truth too.
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