Nothing listens to me anymore

/ bensbitterblog

You probably think because I type so many words on blog posts 3-5 times a week, that I talk a lot. Nope. I am a bitterman of few words. I choose to keep all my thoughts and ideas bottled up, so I can one day explode. Either that or I write them here, so that you might question my sanity.

Although I mostly don’t talk to people because it takes so much effort, a big reason why I don’t is because people don’t listen. I could have a life changing idea, or a really dumb idea, and they just don’t care. What really fries my noodle, is that some people talk just to talk. That is insanity to me, until I had my son. He will literally sit in a room playing video games and be his own commentary. I don’t know how or why he does it, but most of it is pure babble. When I choose to speak, I weight each word and syllable in my mind to see if they actually need to be said, and if they aren’t of the world changing variety, or need to be said to get someone to stop talking to me, I don’t say them.

I get that people don’t listen to me, but what baffles me is that things don’t listen to me. Take for instance my TV. For years, I’ve been yelling at my TV for the Spurs to run the pick and roll and they seem to run the give and go. I tell the girl in the scary movie not to go into that room, and still she goes. I tell the girl to avoid that lawyer type like the plague, but for some reason she keeps ignoring my advice. The worst is when I keep telling them to stop making Marvel movies and they just keep making them.

Wow, some cameras do their jobs.

The other day, I asked my camera to take a picture and it kept just ignoring me. I might be because the power was off, but I asked it politely to turn on, and it just kept staring at me like a rebellious teenager. I’m going to be getting enough of that soon. I don’t need my camera to be watching YouTube all day and not even doing it’s one job I keep asking it to do.

The other day I asked the Gears of War game not to have glitches and spotty wi-fe all for 20 stinking minutes. Do you know how it responded to me? Glitches, spottiness, and quite frankly, a little snottiness.

This morning, I woke up, asked the shower to warm up to a reasonable temperature. Do you know what it did? Gave a me cold bitter stare. Didn’t warm up to me at all. And when I finally got out, I just sat there, steaming. I swear, these showers just have a mind of their own.

I’m getting a little tired of being ignored by all these things.

The worst of all, is I asked my computer to type an entertaining post for everyone to read this morning. And do you know what it did? Gave me this crap. If I had any more time, I would give this computer computer a full virus scan for all the trouble it has been causing me. Don’t make me do it computer.

Alright, fine. I’m doing it. And this whole post is getting erased. That will teach you not to listen to me.

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH

Bitter Listeners Ben

Crap he uploaded the post before I could delete it. Stupid computer.

65 thoughts on “Nothing listens to me anymore”

  1. All I know is that I am a brilliant conversationalist. I once said “Hello” to a colleague and inspired him to launch into a forty-five minute monologue.

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  2. When my alarm wakes me up for work, I tell it to shut up, but it insists in doing its job. Other machines I have do not operate as they should, but the alarm clock is invincible, just my luck.

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  3. I guess that I realize I am not the only one who thinks that no one or nothing cares anymore.

    Other people would (try to) tell me what to do. Machines would tell me what to do. Even my mind would tell me what to do. But, I tell all of them to back off. I then follow my heart which leads me the right and happy way.

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  5. My cousin is just like your son, talks to fill the silence. Also words can’t even begin to fathom how much I love this post.

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  6. I’m not a talkative person at all, and most mistaken me as a shy or odd person. I tell my family that I will never have kids, and mainly it’s because I don’t have the patience or time. I love my time, so you could say I’m a bit selfish. I’m 23 years old and I don’t party, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, but what I love to do most is spend time alone. Not talking to anyone, because for me that is exhausting and somewhat nerve wrecking. I also get annoyed easily by people who talk way too much, after a bit I just shut down and hope they don’t ask me “are you listening?”. So I get where you’re coming from, and it’s nice to know that some people view this as normal.

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    • It’s totally normal. We are called introverts. We like our alone time, but our friends the extroverts think we are shy, or whatever. What they don’t understand is that we need to be away from people and when we do have something to say it is because it is important and worthwhile instead of just jabbering.

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  7. My partner and his children will all be playing the same video game, at the same time, and are all narrating their own actions or making their own theme music up or whatever at the same time with no one noticing everyone else is also making massive amounts of noise for no reason. It makes me want to brutally murder them all with their own arms. I don’t understand it at all. I’m glad someone else sees that as the oddness that it is.

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  8. So many bitter questions, so little bitter lime to go in my vodka+tonic. Here are a few scientific sounding questions, to answer, or bitterly ignore:
    1) -how many thoughts ideas can a bottle hold before it explodes? (~168 psi)
    2) -“sanity?” baaahahahahahahhaaaaaa!!
    3) -a)what is the weight of a word? b) of a syllable? Is that in grams or pounds? does it depend on the speaker’s desired purpose?
    4) -people do what?
    5) -ever yell at commercials, random people, dogs, to shut the hell up? ever yell at inanimate objects for not doing what you want instead of just obeying the laws of physics? do they ignore you like they ignore me? how does that make you feel?

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    • 1 – My head explodes all the time. There is an inordinate amount that gets all over in the shower, due to all the shower thoughts that never escape there.
      2 – Sanity is for sane people. Uhhh, and Insanity is for insane people. Call me Commander Obvious.
      3 – The weight of words is pretty heavy. I must be carrying them on the stomach area.
      4 – People do a lot of things. They really need to stop and rest all the time like me.
      5 – I do all the time, but I yell at the TV way more, especially when sports are on, and my team is failing to follow my misguided directions.

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  9. It did not disappear. I am just a rookie! You have to approve them. Of course. Sorry! I’m trying! Just kinda slapped myself. LOL!!!!! So then disregard response 2 and this one hahahahah!!!!!!

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  10. I JUST WROTE THE MOST AMAZING DAMN RESPONSE TO THIS POST. AND IT DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR! WHY CAN’T STUPID PEOPLE DISAPPEAR AND *NOT* MY amazing comment responses. Excuse me while I CURSE the Apple Gods because I detest this Macbook. Bitter Ben- my eloquent response is gone with the wind. But it was a rant about how people will NEVER appreciate the work that gets put in by people who choose their words wisely. Wisely is just too poetic and deep for the common human brain. That is why I choose to infuse my blog with my soul. Because no one will ever understand this level of darkness if I had to represent it with spoken words. People never listen. But sometimes they read. and then they’re all like OH DAMN… I DIDN’T KNOW HOW DEEP YOU WERE. Yea well no shit! That’s because your head is too far up your OK I think you get my point!

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  12. Oh, joy. Oh, bliss. Have I found another very bitter Spurs fan? Of course I’m more bitter about people talking to me. For instance, every day at my job at least 40 people say things to me. Is that necessary? This isn’t crap. It could be the new Twainism.

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  16. Maybe you should get one of those things I see on TV, where the folks say, “Alexa, do this or that.” and this smooth, superior voice says she did it. I mean, I don’t know, she may not have actually done the thing and is just blowing smoke up their butt, but she has clearly at least listened.

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