Wedded Blister’s Friday Giftures

/ bensbitterblog

Is it just me or are weddings the worst? I was involved in one in which I was one of the main characters and that was bad enough. I had to wear formal things, I had to attend this all day event in which people were making a fuss about me, and I had to talk to a bunch of strangers, all which claimed that they were now my family, but really they are still strange and strangers for the most part. The worst is when you have to attend other people’s . The constant picture taking, the terrible food and the constant barrage of people just make you want to drive your car with terrible tire troubles off a cliff. Anyways, I’m sure almost all of you are somehow involved in some sort of wedding this summer and I feel for all of you as much as I feel for myself this weekend. And yeah, more to come later this summer too. Let’s just look at some giftures to help relieve the pain….

Hey Ben, do you want to go to a wedding?…

…I gotta goooo!

 

Hey, what do you want me to do with the pictures…

…I’ll take care of them.

Do you think you are making me go to the wedding…

…naah, I’m good. 

What should we do with Drunkle Ned…

…just give him some roller skates…

Let’s put these two at the same table…

…that’ll be a big hit. 

And for your dinner this evening…

…my cousin all over it. 

Let’s see if we…

…encounter any other problems.

Let’s try not to…

…get into any stairing contests. 

Uhh, looks like someone…

…had a little too much cake. 

And now for the entertainment…

…Panda flipping. 

Make sure you bring you lovely toddler…

…at least he’s good for entertainment. 

And last but very much the least…

…take some water on the way out.

Whatever you do, make sure you bring your bitter to the weddings you go to this weekend, and hopefully the word will spread and you won’t be invited back again. We can only hope.

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Wedding Blisters Ben

39 thoughts on “Wedded Blister’s Friday Giftures”

  2. “Staring contest” – Brilliant pun!! :’)

    And an awwww for the panda ❤

    I (luckily) haven't been to many weddings in my life. They're always so official and there's never any room for spontaneity or fun.

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  9. That looks like coffee, not cake.

    I am not a fan of going to weddings. The last one I went to was completely anxiety inducing because I was good friends with the bride, but her parents hated my guts.

    Lucky there was an open bar. 🙂

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      • It was weird. Her mother was in charge of the invitations, and when my friend found out I hadn’t gotten one, she blew a gasket. I magically got one in the mail two days later. When I went, her parents were overly awkwardly nice. Like her dad would come over and put his hand on my shoulder and her mom would grab my hand and pet it when talking to me. Mind you this is the ritzy part of Atlanta and her parents are looooooooooooaded. Like lambchops, a 20gal bucket of Iced shrimp and open bar.

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  11. hahaha that counter one! and the stairs one! Epic. I really do hate weddings. And I hate the loving speeches the most. Especially when the husband says corny things about his new beautiful wife and how he can’t wait to live his whole life with her. He doesn’t know. He hasn’t been in the trenches yet. He doesn’t know anything that fool!

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