No, I’m not talking about standing in lines for something stupid like movies or concerts or donuts. I’m talking about roads. I know some of them appear straight, but they aren’t straight enough. I mean there should be a road that goes directly from where I am to my front door at all times. Why are road crews on this project right now? It seems easy enough. According to my math teachers that all tortured me endlessly with me having to solve all their problems, (maybe it’s their turn to solve one of mine), the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. So why am I taking the long way home everyday? Why are road crews making my life so much more difficult? On to the gifs:
DJ air fingers is on the case…
…to make everything soundless.
Get ready to rumble with the biggest, baddest….
…uhh, human on the planet?
My new favorite game, GTR…
…grand theft rabbit.
My new favorite reality show…
…Dancing with the Geriatrics.
My new favorite movie…
…Revenge of the Motocross.
Scratch that. My G.O.A.T….
…is this goat.
In the words of Jim Carrey in Liar Liar…
…I’m getting what I deserve, I’m reaping what I sow…
In my least convincing tone…
…”I had no idea that was coming”
This is pretty much…
…my slide from Monday to Friday.
Spoiler warning…
…something bad happens.
There are two…
…dummies in this picture, not sure which one.
His priority wasn’t not dying…
…it was finishing the phone call.
Now get in your car, make sure you take a straight line home and try not to get the cops on your case when you drive through house after house.
ARRRGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Straight Lines Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
That does it. From now on, I’m saving your Friday posts for Mondays. I need these more on Monday.
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That is fine. Fridays are my lazy day, so they are easy to do, but I can see why people would need them on Monday. I will probably have to start suggesting people wait until then too.
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What a great way to start my Monday morning: laughing at others. Um, I mean, ….
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Yep, laughing at others is what we should be doing way more. Because people deserve to be laughed at.
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Yes, I like it when someone draws a straight line for me.
Oh, and the fine was only something like $273,000. I shoulda charged them all for the new door renos.
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I’m glad they only charged $273K. It could have been much worse. Though I should charge them for being in my way.
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Thanks for the laughs!
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The gifs were the ones that made me laugh. Nothing I said.
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Um…okay
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You’re welcome for all the good advice.
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