Helicopter Bitter

/ bensbitterblog

A helicopter used properly.

You’ve heard of helicopters right? They are those things only used by traffic reporters, hospitals, rich people, and action movies.  Maybe it is because they are smaller, but it seems like there are so few of them, especially compared to their big brother, the airplane.

For sure airplanes have their own problems, with the crashing in oceans, and customers not really liking their getting hauled out of them for no reason and the overcrowding. Not to mention the fact that they are so expensive to get on, get bags on, and eat food on. I don’t know if you know this, but airplanes are one of the few things that have gotten way worse with age.

When my parents were my age, TV’s were black and white and certainly not even HD. They didn’t have Netflix, 500 channels that had nothing on, DVR’s, or BluRay’s. TV’s vastly improve every generation. But airplanes were the bomb diggity (though you aren’t allowed to say that in an airport), back then.

They had stewards and stewardess that actually cared about you, they had legroom for people over 4 foot 2, they had full Thanksgiving sized meals that were included in the ticket and you were allowed to put some luggage in the overhead bins.

You know what else has gotten worse over time? Parents. I had some overbearing ones from time to time when I was growing up. They somehow insisted that I go to bed before 3 am, and made me wash my hands sometimes. Overbearants!

Helicopter used improperly.

Nowadays, though there are these helicopter parents though. No, they didn’t get their helicopter’s license, they got their micromanager license. From the day, their kid is born, they aren’t feeding them food, they are feeding them data. From math before they get to sleep in their first crib, to science before they will give them a bite of food, these parents are overwhelming their kids with schedules.

I was lucky when my mom made me wear my seat belt when I was young. These kids are strapped to their desks, computers and notebooks by the time they take their first breath. They can pass a physics exam easier than a friend test.

These kids know what fun is at an early age, but only because their moms and dads forced them to memorize the dictionary and it just happens to be in the first half.

I can’t even imagine wanting to fight for any free time more than I could breathe. I just wonder what these helicopter parents expect their kids to do once they graduate from college when they are 8. I mean, do their kids have to be their own lawyers on their journey to the Supreme Court to fight for their ability to be lawyers when they are 9?

What do they do when they are ready to retire at the age of 35, and haven’t figured out what 35 year old retirees are supposed to do?

I mean, I was ready to retire at 35, but that is because I’m lazy and being retired is going to allow my laziness techniques to get better…sharper…slower.

I can’t even imagine what my bitterness level would have been at if I had helicopter parents with their micromanagement licenses. I would have probably slept in until 4:30 am just to make them mad.

And I would have used my writing ability to write a blog. About bitterness and helicopter parents. See how I didn’t need helicopter parenting to turn out how I did?

ARRRGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Chopper Ben

37 thoughts on “Helicopter Bitter”

  1. Professors complain about helicopter parents — the overprotective people who hover over their offspring and talk with the prof in his office as if their child isn’t in the room. They have to be ordered out.

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  2. we were tough in the 60s and 70s. riding in cars with no seatbelts. sitting in the back of pickup trucks. We ran around after school finding snakes and taking them home. Kids had chemistry sets – making smoke bombs n such. We built our own bikes and carts and evel knieveled them. I think Moonbeam Jerry Brown was Governor back then too. No wonder it went to hell.

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  5. Yes! Totally agree with the helicopter parenting. Gah! Drives me crazy! It’s particularly painful to watch these parents at the park with their young children. They are SO fearful and protective, they follow them all around the park, just in case they might fall down, they are there to catch them. When my kids are “being reckless” at the park (I have seven, and five are boys and I let them RUN at the park and PLAY ALONE and don’t tend to them unless there is actual blood or broken bones) you should see the glares I sometimes get from other moms. I refuse to stand at the end of the slide and forbid my child to walk up it. Seriously?! That’s like classic kid stuff. But I can also be assured there is always at least one mom at the park doing just that, “slides are for going down, you’re going to get hurt” etc. why can’t we just let kids be kids for a change? Life is too short!

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  6. Dating a guy with an overly involved helicopter mom- She has him trained better than I have my dog trained and that’s really saying something because I have an incredibly smart Aussie who really responds well to bribes, I mean, positive reinforcement and treats. I’d be impressed with her intense style of mom-ing if it wasn’t so annoying to have a third person involved in all major movements and moments of my relationship.

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    • That is something that people don’t really think of. How the helicopter parenting affects more than just the kids. I can’t even imagine having a parent of a significant other to deal with. Oh, believe me, my mother in law was pretty well involved in my wife’s life, but not to the extent of helicoptering. I feel for you, I definitely do.

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  7. Is the helicopter parent a real thing? As in: do people REALLY push their kids that much and make it sound like that’s normal?

    I am so happy I was born in the 80’s…

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    • It really is a thing. I wish it wasn’t, but I’m glad I figured out a way to not be that thing. I really don’t know how kids can deal with things like that. I guess it is similar to how parents were back in the 1880’s or so when they forced their kids into farming at a young age.

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      • Oh my… But if that’s happening in the States today (I blame Trump! :p) the Netherlands have a good two more years before we get caught in that nonsense.

        Sometimes being behind is a blessing. Poor kids 😦

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        • It’s been happening for a while now, but I just happened to write about it a little late (a lot late actually, cause I’m behind on all trends). I just felt the need to write about it, because my sister trends toward being one.

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        • Nooooooooo! Oh my goodness. Must check with my sister is this is already happening here D:

          I hope your sister will discover it’s much more fun for all parties involved to let things go.

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        • Well, her twins just graduated from college, so she is going to learn really quick how she won’t be able to helicopter them (at least not the one that is going to college 200 miles away). The one is going to the local college, so we will see how involved she gets with her.

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