If you’ve had any chance to view my blog at all, you know part of the deal is all the errors. I am constantly misspelling wurds, making really terrible transitions, and making all kinds of false claims that can’t be verified.
It must be a constant annoyance all you bitter followers that are forced to read this stuff. Whether it is because you committed to study this for a class (true story, though you will have to verify), or you followed this blog by mistake while trying to follow someone better, it must be like having a gnat buzz your ear. I bet there are English teachers out there with red pens marks all over their laptops. I don’t blame them. Sometimes when I actually come back and read some of this garbage (pronounced gar baazhh), I even cringe. I wish I could go back and edit the crap out of it, but I can’t, because there is no such thing.
They have computers that write things now?
What? There is such a thing? Oh, you mean you can erase things you’ve typed on your typewriters? How do you guys make it look okay with all the whiteout? Oh, you have a Word processor? But how do you afford to buy one of those things? Those things are included on your computer? I’m so bitter right now.
Anyways, I just think it would be nice if people had an edit button. I understand that humans need to communicate with you for a few reasons like, “Hey Pizza is here!” or “Watch out! Someone is swinging a baseball bat at your head!”, but what is the reason for all the unnecessary communications like, “Tell me about yourself,” or “Let’s go somewhere,” when Netflix and video games are both in plentiful supply.
And for the love of all that is bitter and unholy, if I have a meeting that is scheduled (the meeting is bad enough) for 2 pm and it is 1 pm and you know I need to go soon, why do you think it is necessary to talk to me until 1:05 pm? You know I have some things to do to get ready for the meeting right? I have many gifs to get ready for my blog, I have YouTube videos to watch for research purposes and basketball highlights to watch. I don’t need your conversation mucking up all my prep time.
I’m doing my research for the meeting!
And for the dislike of Pete, can we put the edit button on when it is 4:45 pm? I have to get my speedy sneakers laced up so the second hand on a the clock doesn’t make it to 5:00:01 before I am safely outside the building and well on my way home.
So, let’s get the old edit button invented for all the extro’s that don’t understand the value of words and spew out all the unnecessary ones by giving them their very own, specially gift wrapped Edit Button TM so they can give us some peace.
ARRRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter Ed. Butt. Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Well, I didn’t notice your mistakes before but now that you have brought it to my attention, I’ll be watching 🙂
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I sure hope so. It will get under your skins every time you see one and you know how it will stick there forever, because I won’t fix it.
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Ooh, sooo bitter😊
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So bitter it burns.
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My favorite saying is: “Too bad life does not have an undo button.” Neither do elevators, btw.
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Life really needs an undo button, because there are a lot of regrets I need to go back and fix. This is ridiculous.
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Yes, where can we go to complain?
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I think the government should be doing something about it. Or maybe aliens that have the technology and aren’t sharing with us.
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I vote for the aliens.
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They surely are to blame for just about anything. Including our government.
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I think the problem is going to school. We never leave, do we? Well, I didn’t, anyway … I became an English teacher! And your posts are great by me …
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You must be a pretty lax English teacher, because I have other people that are always telling me all my mistakes.
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Huh, everyone’s an expert these days! What are they trying to do, put me out of a job?
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I’m cool with the laxity. I would have done so much better if I was in your class.
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Ha! I say my blog uses “creative grammar.” Like it’s A Thing. Who has TIME to edit these things for free??
“Dislike of Pete” took me a second, but I love it.
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I agree. Creative grammar is what we should all use. Who was in charge of coming up with all the rules for it anyways?
I’m glad you understood the Dislike of Pete. Sometimes I go a little too far with the bitterness and people get lost.
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Lol!! I love your edit button. I struggle with auto correct and find it better to disable it when typing on my android phone ha ha
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My daughter thought about this idea. She really thinks that people who talk to her need to limit the words they use. Of course, I totally agree.
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Brilliant bitter daughter in the making perhaps?😃😃😃Wishing your missus a happy mother’s day weekend! Have a great bitter celebration☺
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Yeah, I’ve talked to her about taking over the blog when I get older. She certainly has the Bitter Resting Face down.
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I’m not gonna lie, I am Judgy McJudgerson when it comes to grammar and spelling. That’s why i can only manage to do one post a week. It’s like OCD. But you make a valid point. Some people need to come with an edit button in real life. I’m one of those people. The other day someone thought I was younger than I am and I said, “No, I am ancient! I’m like 52!” And then I saw a 50-something woman standing behind that person looking at me with a very unsmiling expression. EDIT!
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Which is why you love reading all the errors on my blog. And why you want me to send a sloppy and terribly written post to you. I must be your worst and bitter nightmare.
My problem is that I have too good of an edit button with my mouth, because I don’t say things I should.
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It’s true. Reading your posts is like picking on a scab. It’s weird and makes you uncomfortable but you still find a twisted joy in it so you keep doing it.
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That is a great analogy. I will take that and continue to steal it from you and claim it as my own.
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Just don’t misspell when you plagiarize.
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You know I will misspell. That way they can’t possibly think I plagiarized, because people that can’t spell, couldn’t possibly copy someone else’s work.
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I do the same thing. I put something out then read it a couple minutes later, throwing in edits all over the place. I think it’s the danger of having to put stuff out regularly.
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It might feel like a danger to other people, but thankfully it is just part of my blog, so I’m don’t feel to bad when I don’t fix things.
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That must be nice. Probably smart to set it up that way and it comes off as very natural and off the cuff.
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Yeah, unfortunately, most of my posts are written and sent within 30 or 40 minutes. Sometimes I may edit, but I don’t always.
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Just ignore those red lines under the words…they don’t apply to you!
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All I ever see is green squiggly lines, so I don’t worry about things anyways. U kno wat IM saying?
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