Surprise parties are kind of the worst. Birthdays are already invaded by other people that never talk to you on Facebook all of a sudden sending you profound birthday messages like, “Happy Birthday!” The rest of the day is either work, or family or friends calling you with some super sweet small talk which drives you up the wall. But surprise birthdays? Now you are stuck with people you either like, barely talk to, or flat out despise. Sounds like a perfect way to spend an evening for an introvert. When all you wanted to do, was sleep all day and peruse the internet for what you really wanted, instead of all these unreturnable gifts you got. Ughh, well just so you know, I’m making a big change and it is coming soon. But, shhhh it is a surprise. So tune in and maybe I will share this “surprise announcement” soon. Until then, be bitter about these giftures about people being surprised about something or another.
Don’t you love when…
…an invisible force flips your car?
I guess we know who is stronger…
…between Supergirl and Superman…
And the surprise winner…
…of the low jump is this guy.
This guy gets some surprise…
…chair-ity.
Don’t you know cats can’t see glass…
…I know. Isn’t that a pane?
Sorry, can’t talk…
…something is on TV right now.
Just taking the vacuum for a spin….
…look like I broke my arm..y.
Hey, at least she jumped higher…
…than the professional high jumper above.
We’ve got a bunch of athletes this week…
…especially this state champ in desk destroying.
Love the fact that everything goes wrong here…
…guy kicks someones head, hurts his ankle, but worst of all the volleyball guys have to run and get their ball by themselves.
Knock, Knock…
…who’s theeee aggghhh….
Wow, the wind feels…
…a little strong today.
Alright, well I know you are wanting to know the surprise as much as I want people to come surprise me for my birthday, but you will have to wait. Quit being so impatient. Freaking people. I swear. Anyways, don’t lose any sleep over it, or lost minutes at work contemplating it. Sooooon….
ARRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter Friday Surprise Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I can jump higher than both the professionak high jumper AND that lady! Gosh, I feel so superior right now, I’m going to bask in in for a while 🙂 (I am always so bad at anything sporty).
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I used to do the high jump when I was in high school, so I used to be able to. Now I could barely leap above an ant.
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I think you’ll be fine when it comes to ants. It’s beetles I am worried about.
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Beetles are the worst to try to leap above. It’s those killer high antenna that get me every time.
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The best gif was the army guy on the buffer. Didn’t he know that wasn’t going to turn out well? The little kid that got the door opened on his face? Served him right for getting so close to it. I love your Friday giftures.
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Yeah, you would think that the Army guy would know better. Isn’t there something in their training about that?
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Probably.
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Is your surprise that you are petitioning your congressman to expand “Stand Your Ground” to include surprise birthday parties? That would get my vote. Thanks for the laughs.
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I think you will find my surprise in the post I did today. So you can end all your guessing and just find out.
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I just couldn’t scroll past the dungaree guy for laughing too hard! 🤣
Thanks so much for sharing that.
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Well, you should keep scrolling because there were many more people doing dumb stuff.
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Cat glass joke was purrfect.
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I don’t even know what you are talking about right meow.
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The invisible force flipping the car has my vote… great, one more thing to worry about when I drive! Thanks, Ben 🙂
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I’m always glad to help you worry more. I find that so helpful when it comes to helping others feel bitter.
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Simple. Change your birthday status to private, so none of your fellow Facebook connections will know when it occurs. Scratch that. You shouldn’t give Facebook that type of information.
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I know right? Facebook needs to delete from it’s stats that I ever had a birthday. That way, I can spend more time ignoring people and enjoy my birthday doing stuff I want, like watching TV and not doing things.
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This made my day. Actually my week. Actually my week can be summed up in pretty much all these GIFS.
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Well, it is your lucky day, because I do these giftures every week on Friday, so it can be there to sum up all your bitterness of the week in one bitter post.
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I love your Friday Giftures!!
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Just like I love all your posts and illustrations!
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