That whole expression about taking candy from a baby is really kind of obvious. First of all, the little runts really aren’t supposed to be eating candy. Especially in those vital first years. And if they are trying to eat it, you are just doing a service for them. Candy would rot all their teeth if they had any and if they didn’t they would get even more hyper than they already are. And making babies stop crying should be the goal of all of us, and by all of us, I mean their parents. The parents are the ones that brought them into this world, they are the ones that should shut them up, especially when I’m around. I don’t need to be hearing that stuff.
But giving candy to a baby, now that is what we should all do, but only when we are just getting ready to leave. Now that is an easy thing to do, as opposed to doing Friday Giftures, which is hard, but here you go anyways.
Here’s something just as easy…
When someone tries to hug you…
When someone tries to shut down your interview…
When someone plays right into your prank…
When someone sits that close to a fence where a ball could come…
When your pizza is late…
When life gives you a piano…
When you are terrible at math…
When you are at work…
When you exercise…
When going up for the dunk…
Most importantly, when crossing a river…
It’s really quite easy to forget how easy things are until you remember how complicated babies make everything. They always want to be cared for, they always want food and they can never even change their own diapers. And they worst part: they all grow up and become people. Maybe they shouldn’t think of taking candy from a baby as an easy thing.
ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Candy Stealing Ben
You’re such a fun and perky blogger. You must get great joy from making people laugh!
………..
BWAAAHAHA, I stomp upon your bitterness!!!!!
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How dare you accuse me of being both perky and fun! I’m bitter! And quit stomping on my bitterness, it hurts!
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Ahahaha, the apocalypse one :’) One of the best pranks ever!
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Plus, it would be a good way to get out of doing the interview.
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Very true
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Love your viewpoint, thanks
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It’s a bitter one, but yeah, it’s a viewpoint for sure.
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Piano guy did play that thing horribly. I also enjoyed the girl trying to do the yoga pose with the help of her uncoordinated friend. We could also see that no good was going to come of it.
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Exercise is also useless. Just keeping us alive longer and who needs that kind of torture?
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Now you’ve made me hungry for candy. Next time write about something like Brussel sprouts, something not so easy to crave.
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That is so true. I’ve written about onions before. Now those are things I never crave.
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I’m with you. Candy for all the babies, big and small.
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I am ready for some candy. Since my teeth will be rotting soon anyways.
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Wow are you proactive!
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I’ve hardly ever heard that.
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Been there, done some of those…including soiling my own diapers…but not lately.
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Hopefully not lately, though when I get older…maybe I will be doing a bunch of that.
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