As we embark on the NBA All-Star weekend, we celebrate what the NBA is most famous for. Not the slam dunk or the 3 point shot, or the monster block, but the trash talk. It isn’t good enough to dunk on someone, you have to then deliver a well placed insult to the opponent you just facialized. I don’t know the new ones being handed out because I’m not a teenager, but the old school ones went like this. “I’m the bus driver, because I just took you all to school,” or “do you need a hospital for all the burns I just gave you?” or “How is the weather down there, because I just slam dunked all over you.” I’m sure the news one are something like, “I’ve been up here so long, I did two Snapchat stories.” I might need to call a fireman, because some of these gifs are too hot to handle.
I realize some of the jokes…
…might fall flat.
But if you want to…
…fly like an eagle…
Right into the future…
…where even space nothing can stop the “Claaaaw”…
Where time keeps on…
…slippin’, slippin’, slippin’.
Cause I wanna fly like an eagle…
…to the sea.
Alright, enough of the Seal references…
…let’s jump back to our regularly scheduled program.
I hope referencing the Charlotte Hornet…
…doesn’t sting too much.
And by the way, if you aren’t arriving at the game in this manner…
…you won’t be in the Fast and the Furious like this girl.
This is probably how I will be…
…headed to the game.
Our newest invitee to the slam dunk contest…
…was kind of a flop.
I know everyone loves getting the T-shirts that shoot out of the cannon…
…but this is ridiculous.
And our final play will be…
…these kids who pulled this off better than the pros ever could. (By the way, this isn’t the Pro Bowl.)
Well, I hope you all enjoy the All-Star Game this weekend. I will not be attending, nor will I be watching, because apparently they don’t play it live on Netflix. So I will be home bitter and stewing that I again missed the All-Star game and you lucky people got to watch it.
ARRGGGHHHH
Bitter No-Star Game Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I ❤ Netflix. It is a salve for bitterness.
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Netflix is great because it isn’t live. If it was, I would be hearing all this news stuff and getting even more bitter about life.
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Proving once again that soccer skills can save someone’s valuables while jumping chairs could actually ruin them!
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Who knows what will be the next thing to save you. Just best to stay safe on the couch so as not to deal with any of those things.
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My sentiments exactly, Ben. Although, my wife seems determined to change my plan. 😀
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Yeah, mine too. For some reason, she wants me to participate in things like cleaning and cooking and not being lazy.
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The nerve! Doesn’t she realize we men are deathly afraid of those things and other things that ask us to do things that require us to make the effort-like thing? Fortunately we men are inhibited by something called a sofa. 😀
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If they wouldn’t have created such a soft and comfortable place that wasn’t the bed, we wouldn’t be so inclined to sit all day. They made us this way.
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I know, I would have preferred a cot or even a park bench! Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to rough it on a comfy sofa. 😀
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Yeah, I guess they named the Lazy Boy after me, because of how I approached the couch.
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LOL. 😀
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All of thes gifs are priceless. I love the way the janitor knocks out the Hornet. The girl doing suicides who takes the digger is pretty awesome.
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It’s funny that the ninja was the one that tripped her up. And that he appeared out of nowhere. It’s even funnier that I played that Ninja in video games many years ago.
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Well, ninjas are like that. They just come at you out of nowhere.
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Yes. Kind of like how the morning comes out of nowhere.
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Or Mondays….
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Mondays I can deal with. But Tuesdays…Uggh.
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Yeah…wait a minute? Tuesdays?
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Oh my gosh, have you never seen how much I hate Tuesdays? You need to check out some of my old blog posts. Tuesday’s are the worst. Monday’s are a slower sleepy day at work, because most people you deal with (bosses included) are still recovering from the weekend too. But Tuesday’s are when people realize the week is started and so then the start making you work. Worst day of the week, hands down.
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I have never thought of it like that, Ben. You do have a point. Suddenly it’s like holy crap, we only have 3 days to get a month’s worth of work done.
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That’s why my 20 years of experience of Tuesday’s come in handy. I know the days of the week that are horrible (all of them, but Tuesday’s are the most horrible).
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👍
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